Tituss Burgess’ gloriously scathing Yelp review will give you life

4 days ago

Image: netflix

If you’ve ever had moving woes, feel vindicated in the fact that there are heroes out there who are fighting back.

Tituss Burgess, “Emmy Nominated Actor for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, currently streaming on Netflix,” wrote the perfect one-star review for a Brooklyn moving company July 13.

The company in question, Franks Express, which not only neglected to do their job, but also asked for a Yelp review before it was done, left Burgess extremely disappointed to say the very least.

Image: Yelp

“My name is Tituss Burgess. Im an Emmy Nominated Actor for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt currently streaming on Netflix. That’s besides the point. But watch it,” Burgess’ review begins instantly proving credibility because there can’t be a person on the planet who doesn’t love Tituss.

The rest of the review details how things quickly escalated with Franks Express. Here is a timeline of events:

  • 11 a.m.: Burgess calls to arrange a pick up of his couch. The representative quotes that they will be at his home at 1 p.m.

  • 1 p.m.: No movers.

  • 1:30 p.m.: Still no movers. Burgess calls the company again to check on the arrival, the representative tells him that he is late and will give him a discount in exchange for a good Yelp review. Burgess, understandably, asks that the job be completed before he does that, and the representative tells him, “no review no show.”Texting back and forth continues for 45 minutes. During this time, the representative calls Burgess a nasty, anti-gay slur.

“It completely threw my entire day….I’m going to post this to Twitter, to my Instagram, to my Facebook. You messed with the wrong Queen,” Burgess wrote.

He perfectly recapped his scathing review on Instagram.

And shared both the review and the saved text messages to Twitter. Warning for anyone out there who is sensitive to anti-LGBT language, one of the messages contains an anti-gay slur.

The above tweet also includes a telephone number that does not match the Franks Express Yelp page, however, when we Google searched the number, it brought up another moving company that has several numbers and several different names, and has many reviews that users have flagged as a scam. It is not clear whether Franks Express is affiliated with this company.

Franks Express has responded to Burgess on Yelp, claiming they had nothing to do with the incident and that Burgess never called them. However, it’s clear from the text messages that Burgess dealt with some unprofessional mover via phone.

Image: yelp

At the moment, Yelp is monitoring the Franks Express page “for content related to media reports.”

We are with you Tituss. Stay strong.

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Fag activists are hurling a giant LGBTQ dance party right outside Mike Pence’s house

17 days ago

Image: jean vandevanter white/ werkforpeace

Chevy Chase, the quiet D.C. neighborhood soon to be home to Vice President-elect Mike Pence, is about to get truly, really loud.

Activists behind WerkForPeace and #DisruptJ20 have joined together to plan a huge queer dancing party outside of Pence’s new home this Wednesday, Jan. 18 th. Queer dancers and their allies will follow a dancing route through Pence’s new neighborhood, hoping to get as close as possible to his home.

“We have planned a route to dancing through Pence’s neighborhood and celebrate queerness, leaving behind traces of rainbow and glitter that he is bound to see and never forget, ” Firas Nasr, a representative from WerkForPeace, told Mashable in an email. “Our most important point is to celebrate our love for one another and our diversity through dance and self-expression. He will know we are there! “

Image: Jean van devanter White/ werkforpeace

LGBTQ activists are deeply concerned about the vice president-elect’s recordon issues pertaining to the gay community. In the past, Pence expressed support for conversion therapy, a dangerous practise currently opposed by the American Medical Association.

Trump himself has promised to sign the First Amendment Defense Act,which would allow business, landowners and even hospitals to turn away LGBTQ people if their needs violate the owners’ religious beliefs.

WerkForPeace wants to make its opposition known( and, in a welcome growth, actually have fun at the same period ). The group, coordinated after the Pulse nightclub massacre, has schemed similar dancings in the past. And members are expecting a large turnout for the Pence protest 😛 TAGEND

“Over 2,000 people have expressed interest, and virtually 500 people have[ RSVPd] to come out and werrrkkk! Yas queen! ” Nasr told Mashable .

Pence’s new neighborhood hasn’t exactly welcomed him with open arms. Previously, Pence’s neighbours plastered the region with lesbian flags and signs that read “This Neighborhood Trusts Women.” Pence has also expressed support for defunding Schemed Parenthood and overruling Roe V. Wade.

“We choose to bring the dance floor to the streets and assert that #WeAreHere and #WeWillDance. No longer will we remain silent about intolerance in our country, especially when it is occupying one of the highest positions in government. Instead, we choose to stand together and #werkforpeace, ” Nasr told Mashable .

Image: jean van dewanter white/ werkforpeace

More details about the event can be found here.

BONUS: NBD, only a massive alligator out for a stroll

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Jon Snow’s fate helped Kit Harington get out of a speeding ticket

18 days ago
Warning: Spoiler alert if you haven’t been watching Game of Thrones !

Turns out that nothing is sacred when it comes to the possibility of get a speeding ticket and even the mighty Jon Snow disintegrates before the law.

Kit Harington to halt The Tonight Show and spoke with Jimmy Fallon about who knew what about Jon Snow’s fate before the most recent season premiered.

Harington tells a policeman once pulled him over for speeding, and asked him what anyone would, really: Is Jon Snow alive? Oh, and whether Harington gets a ticket or not depends on his answer.

No pressure. The Lord Commander devotes the right answer.

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50 very unlikely things we want from the Democratic National Convention

2 months, 4 days ago

Image: alex wong, Getty Images

We got through the Republican National Convention , now it’s just one more week until we’re officially in the race for the White House. There’s merely one more candidate to nominate.

The Democratic National Convention will gavel in on Monday afternoon, where Hillary Clinton and Tim Kaine will likely be nominated at the Democratic party’s nominees for President and Vice President of the United States, respectively.

There will be speeches. There is likely to be celebrities. There is likely to be flag pins.

We hope there will be so much more.

1. Tim Kaine does a harmonica solo.

2. Tim Kaine and Bill Clinton do a harmonica/ sax duet.

3. Bill Clinton shares his best vegan recipes( yes, he’s a vegan now ).

4. Hillary rent off some sassy one-liners.

5. Elizabeth Warren lays down some murderer Trump puns.

6. Elizabeth Warren challenges Trump to a rap battle.

7. The Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays as Bernie Sanders comes on stage.

8. Lin-Manuel Miranda writes Elizabeth Warren, Tim Kaine, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders a devastating hip-hop medley.

9. Unlike the RNC, person talks about policy.

10. Bernie Sanders wails, “THIS ISN’T OVER! ” And does a stage dive.

11. Again, teens flood the convention looking for Pokmon.

12. Beyonc performs a spectacular new hitting dedicated to our new, all powerful gynocracy.

13. A video tribute to menstruation. Deal with it.

14. Hillary ends her acceptance speech by saying “Hillary OUT! ” and falling the mic.

15. A synchronized dance number

16. Hillary discloses herself to be a benevolent robot, hoping to bring peace to us humans.

17. In the name of transparency, Hillary reads every ecard, chain letter and intra-office meme she sent between 1996 and 2013.

18. Hillary changes video games by wearing a crop top instead of a pant suit

19. There is a sketch starring Jimmy Fallon.

20. Bernie Sanders announces his next move as KFC’s new spokesman, Colonel Sanders.

21. Nobody mentions emails.

22. Larry David stands in for Bernie Sanders.

23. Bernie Sanders paraglides into the convention stadium.

24. Bill Clinton announced today he, Obama and Chelsea are forming a band and touring the country.

25. They are called Barry, Willy and Chels.

26. Obama challenges Hillary to a game of stone, paper, scissors for the presidency.

27. Tim Kaine sings a heartbreaking ballad called, “I’m Only A Little Bit Boring.”

28. It’s actually merely Obama in a Hillary mask.

29. Joe Biden kisses Tim Kaine to transfer is Vice Presidential powers to him.

30. Hillary’s acceptance speech is merely 15 minutes because she knows some of us have to be up in the morning. Maintain it short and sweet, Hill.

31. Al Gore talks about whales for 45 minutes.

32. Kate McKinnon stands in for Hillary for the duration of the convention.

33. Hillary’s speech is annotated with GIFs.

34. Bernie Sanders turns the tables by impersonating Larry David.

35. Elizabeth Warren stands up and says, “Screw it, I’M running for President, ” and the crowd cheers.

36. Russia will hack into the screens, demonstrating Season 4 of The Americans

37. Trump will somehow appear on stage every night.

38. Obama will spend most of his speech talking about all of the mystery novels he will read once his word is over.

39. In an effort to appear cooler, Tim Kaine will wear sunglasses for the duration of the convention.

40. Bill Clinton alleviates his ‘9 0s glory by giving his speech wearing a choker and a flannel shirt tied around his waist.

41. Someone please merely admit that climate change is real.

42. Lenny Kravitz appears on stage as 90 percent scarf.

43. Nancy Pelosi and Stephen Colbert do a hilarious presidential version of “Who’s On First? “

44. No one utters the phrase “All lives matter.”

45. The Wyoming delegation, who play Pokemon Go as Team Insight, gets into a big fight with the Michigan delegation, who are Team Valor.

46. People spend the entire convention trying to decide where they’ve find Chlo Grace Moretz.

47. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is nowhere to be seen. At all. For the entire convention. Please just stay away.

48. Everyone watches The West Wing for four days.

49. Unlike the RNC, Democrat will actually talk about their nominee in speeches, rather than the opposition’s.

50. Peace on earth and good will towards men and women.

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Couple’s love of puns and ‘The Addams Family’ becomes a great Halloween costume

3 months, 5 days ago

If you love puns, Halloween offers the best opportunity to let your silly antics run wild.

Reddit user SavioSega shared a photo of he and his wife dressed as Morticia and Gomez ‘Atoms.’ The two constructed themselves into the building blocks of matter while playing on The Addams Family name. I’ll likely created more groans than frightens this Halloween.

These goofballs clearly knew how to keep the All Hallow’s Eve magic alive. Just look at those protons.

The Atoms Family from funny

Opposites truly do attract.

BONUS: “Central Fluff: ‘Friends’ Remade With Hamsters”

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Sriracha are formally gone mainstream: McDonald’s add it to burgers

3 months, 11 days ago

Image: flickr, Mike Mozart

2016 is genuinely the dawning of a new age because McDonald’s now serves Sriracha.

The fast food chain famous for its classic burgers and chicken nuggets is upping their gourmet game by slathering the sauce on their newest Big Mac.

Image: mcdonald’s

According to a press release, the company is calling their particular brand of sauce, “Signature Sriracha” or “Awesome Sauce.” You know, for the kids.

The sauce is a combination of the beloved Sriracha and the company’s signature Big Mac sauce.

Image: mcdonald’s

While many customers are eager find their favorite flavoring so readily available, others have deemed Sriracha hipster hot sauce.

However, thespicy chili sauce has been a staple in different Asian restaurants and an increasingly popular grocery store item for many years. If anything, its recent popularity is a result of culture appropriation that McDonald’s has, in turn, also appropriated.

Image: mcdonald’s

Still, this is good news to foodies who are occasionally crave a little drive-thru.

The new burger has been tested out San Diego and Los Angeles over the last month and will be available in participating Seattle eateries starting July 7.


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Bad flute version of the ‘2 0th Century Fox’ logo made a wonderful Halloween costume

4 months, 1 day ago

The classic flute and snare drum intro for 20 th Century Fox productions is the perfect tune to get you into the mood for Halloween, but a few years ago, a silly viral videocompletely ruined any majestic appeal the intro had earned for years to come with a crappy flute rendition.

Just as the memory of the bad flute version of the intro was gazing to fade, Soohon Kim brought it back to haunt the beginning of your movies for years to come with his genius Halloween costume.

Some things are best left ruined.

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Sesame Street’s holiday special is an old-timey pleasure

4 months, 1 day ago

The snow tumbles down on Muppets in top hats as a mustachioed Cookie Monster offers a Santa’d Jim Gaffigan a chocolate chip cookie. This is the scene on situated as Sesame Street shoots its first holiday special in 10 years.

“Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas” is a Dickensian tale told through a furry lens of children’s television. Much of the special takes place in an old-timey Sesame Street populated by the ancestors of the street’s familiar, fuzzy faces.

Image: zach hyman

Image: zach hyman

Set designer David Gallo took modern Sesame Street back to the 19 th century with sepia tones, ivy-covered iron gates and laundry hang by clothespins over the familiar cobblestone. The characters themselves underwent their own period makeovers, trading their regular clothes and ogre fur for dashing, hand-sewed tweed outerwear and exaggerated facial hair.

Image: zach hyman

The story starts inside the bedroom of Elmo as his daddy tells him the story of a Sesame Street from long ago that was so unfriendly, Santa put the entire block on the naughty list. Merely through the kindness and cheer of Elmo’s great-great-grandmonster( also named Elmo) does Sesame Street transform into the warm fuzzy-filled neighborhood millions of children know today.

That’s the short version the longer version that unfolds in “Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas” includes musical numbers featuring Broadway legend Audra McDonald, Girls superstar Zosia Mamet and Jim Gaffigan in the perfectly casted role of Santa Claus.

In between takes, Gaffigan sits in his sleigh, joking with the Muppeteers and Muppets readying for the next shot. He skeptically nibbles on a cookie handed over by a fuzzy-handed ogre, and says, “All I savor is beard” with a hearty and jolly laugh worthy of the red suit he’s wearing.

Image: ZACH HYMAN

When asked how producers settled on Gaffigan for the role of Santa, Brown Johnson, EVP and Creative Director of Sesame Workshop, told: “He’s the perfect Santa, very fun, and very funny. And he must love kids because he has so many! He had such a good time with us that he did all of his press interviews that day in his Santa costume in his Santa voice.”

Image: ZACH HYMAN

The father-of-five and clear Sesame Street fan paused before wrapping his final day on set by asking the Muppets to shoot selfies and videos for his kids. Because only the coolest of papas pal around with Bert and Ernie.

Elmo just confused @jimgaffigan for Santa! Or does Santa uncannily resemble Jim Gaffigan?

A photo posted by Sesame Street (@ sesamestreet) on Jun 15, 2016 at 11:13 am PDT

Image: zach hyman

“Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas” re-airs Dec. 24 at 9 a. m. ET on HBO.

Image: ZACH HYMAN

Image: ZACH HYMAN

Image: ZACH HYMAN

Image: ZACH HYMAN

Image: zach hyman

BONUS: Cookie Monster Shower Thoughts

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The strangest insults politicians dropped this year around the world

4 months, 8 days ago

Such unparliamentary speech .
Image: getty/ mashable composite

Are you ready for the sickest burns by the most flame politicians of 2016?

Bar a certain southeast Asian leader and a president-elect, most insults thrown around in politics this year were more mild than wild. But nonetheless weird.

The Society of Clerks have compiled this year’s naughtiest express in their most recent version of publication, The Table . It’s full to the brim with terms uttered by legislators in the parliaments of countries such as Australia, Canada, New Zealand, India and South Africa.

Get ready for the tamest, lamest calls ever. Except in Australia, where they really DGAF.

Australia

– The Dr Goebbels of economic policy.

– The Australian people see you as a very unsavoury is part of the House.

– The cockroach of the Australian Labor Party.

– The question was about his dog of a policy.

– You are such a grub.

– Free trade is bullshit.

– Aren’t you the real clown, and one with a massive credibility deficit?

– You would think the foreign minister might actually guess before she opens her big fat trap and says stupid things in this parliament.

– They are the tools over the other side this is gonna be bashed.

– Here is another muppet.

– Those blokes would sell smokings to kids if they had a chance.

– Youve got to stop smoking the funny stuff. Youve got to stop smoking so much pot.

– My topic is to the village idiot.

– He is not here. He is talking to Tinker Bell on his unicorn phone.

– You nitwit.

– You knucklehead.

– You lot stink.

Canada

– You are full of crap.

– Mr Speaker, extraordinary. Living in a Canada, where that sort of idiocy pass for argument in the House of Parliament.

– That man is a jester you have no clue.

– Patronage is the K-Y Jelly of politics in an absolute orgy of political patronage the whole war room of the Conservative partys election campaign was appointed to the Senate as one big fat “F you” to the Canadian public.

India

– Shut up, you will be silenced.

– Can I not call a burglar a burglar?

– Who is screaming? Does not your common sense work? Are we in Parliament or in a market?

– Pimps of power.

New Zealand

– Go back to supporting marijuana.

– Battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

South Africa

– We are going to made you physically now.

– A fool elected by a fool will be led by a fool, but the biggest fool is the buffoon who elected that fool.

– Tellytubby.

Of course, we all know what these politicians are truly trying to say.

They could take some lessons in letting it all out from Irish politician Paul Gogarty back in 2009. And yes, it actually contains coarse language.

BONUS: ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ reimagined as a homemade trailer

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Burger King Instagram remarks help catch an unfaithful boyfriend

6 months ago

Thanks to social media, secrets have no place to hide.

One unfortunate boyfriend received this out after he made what he thought was an innocuous comment on a Burger King Instagram photo.

He felt the need to share the story of his drive-through experience with his “girl” to the wide world of Instagram. He likely didn’t think that anyone he knew would insure his comment among the hundreds that pepper Burger King’s Instagram.

But lo and behold, person did see it.

Image: instagram

Instagrammer shanlee_rose then proceeded to tag some of her girlfriends in the post, so she could get some backup on the issue.

Image: instagram

“F ** king knew it, ” one of her friends commiserated.

“I told you I considered him with a girl, ” the other concurred. All evidence pointed to the inevitable fact that this guy was about to get roasted alive in Burger King’s Instagram commentaries, of all places.

But the boyfriend wasn’t going to go down without defending himself first.

Image: instagram

Image: instagram

Absolutely savage.

So, with Valentine’s Day fast approaching, we’d just like to remind you to not be stupid on social media. Because relationships can be made and broken anywhere.

Image: instagram

Even on Burger King’s Instagram.

BONUS: Facebook stalkers confess their dark secrets

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