50 very unlikely things we want from the Democratic National Convention

9 days ago

Image: alex wong, Getty Images

We got through the Republican National Convention , now it’s just one more week until we’re officially in the race for the White House. There’s merely one more candidate to nominate.

The Democratic National Convention will gavel in on Monday afternoon, where Hillary Clinton and Tim Kaine will likely be nominated at the Democratic party’s nominees for President and Vice President of the United States, respectively.

There will be speeches. There is likely to be celebrities. There is likely to be flag pins.

We hope there will be so much more.

1. Tim Kaine does a harmonica solo.

2. Tim Kaine and Bill Clinton do a harmonica/ sax duet.

3. Bill Clinton shares his best vegan recipes( yes, he’s a vegan now ).

4. Hillary rent off some sassy one-liners.

5. Elizabeth Warren lays down some murderer Trump puns.

6. Elizabeth Warren challenges Trump to a rap battle.

7. The Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays as Bernie Sanders comes on stage.

8. Lin-Manuel Miranda writes Elizabeth Warren, Tim Kaine, Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders a devastating hip-hop medley.

9. Unlike the RNC, person talks about policy.

10. Bernie Sanders wails, “THIS ISN’T OVER! ” And does a stage dive.

11. Again, teens flood the convention looking for Pokmon.

12. Beyonc performs a spectacular new hitting dedicated to our new, all powerful gynocracy.

13. A video tribute to menstruation. Deal with it.

14. Hillary ends her acceptance speech by saying “Hillary OUT! ” and falling the mic.

15. A synchronized dance number

16. Hillary discloses herself to be a benevolent robot, hoping to bring peace to us humans.

17. In the name of transparency, Hillary reads every ecard, chain letter and intra-office meme she sent between 1996 and 2013.

18. Hillary changes video games by wearing a crop top instead of a pant suit

19. There is a sketch starring Jimmy Fallon.

20. Bernie Sanders announces his next move as KFC’s new spokesman, Colonel Sanders.

21. Nobody mentions emails.

22. Larry David stands in for Bernie Sanders.

23. Bernie Sanders paraglides into the convention stadium.

24. Bill Clinton announced today he, Obama and Chelsea are forming a band and touring the country.

25. They are called Barry, Willy and Chels.

26. Obama challenges Hillary to a game of stone, paper, scissors for the presidency.

27. Tim Kaine sings a heartbreaking ballad called, “I’m Only A Little Bit Boring.”

28. It’s actually merely Obama in a Hillary mask.

29. Joe Biden kisses Tim Kaine to transfer is Vice Presidential powers to him.

30. Hillary’s acceptance speech is merely 15 minutes because she knows some of us have to be up in the morning. Maintain it short and sweet, Hill.

31. Al Gore talks about whales for 45 minutes.

32. Kate McKinnon stands in for Hillary for the duration of the convention.

33. Hillary’s speech is annotated with GIFs.

34. Bernie Sanders turns the tables by impersonating Larry David.

35. Elizabeth Warren stands up and says, “Screw it, I’M running for President, ” and the crowd cheers.

36. Russia will hack into the screens, demonstrating Season 4 of The Americans

37. Trump will somehow appear on stage every night.

38. Obama will spend most of his speech talking about all of the mystery novels he will read once his word is over.

39. In an effort to appear cooler, Tim Kaine will wear sunglasses for the duration of the convention.

40. Bill Clinton alleviates his ‘9 0s glory by giving his speech wearing a choker and a flannel shirt tied around his waist.

41. Someone please merely admit that climate change is real.

42. Lenny Kravitz appears on stage as 90 percent scarf.

43. Nancy Pelosi and Stephen Colbert do a hilarious presidential version of “Who’s On First? “

44. No one utters the phrase “All lives matter.”

45. The Wyoming delegation, who play Pokemon Go as Team Insight, gets into a big fight with the Michigan delegation, who are Team Valor.

46. People spend the entire convention trying to decide where they’ve find Chlo Grace Moretz.

47. Debbie Wasserman Schultz is nowhere to be seen. At all. For the entire convention. Please just stay away.

48. Everyone watches The West Wing for four days.

49. Unlike the RNC, Democrat will actually talk about their nominee in speeches, rather than the opposition’s.

50. Peace on earth and good will towards men and women.

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Couple’s love of puns and ‘The Addams Family’ becomes a great Halloween costume

1 month, 10 days ago

If you love puns, Halloween offers the best opportunity to let your silly antics run wild.

Reddit user SavioSega shared a photo of he and his wife dressed as Morticia and Gomez ‘Atoms.’ The two constructed themselves into the building blocks of matter while playing on The Addams Family name. I’ll likely created more groans than frightens this Halloween.

These goofballs clearly knew how to keep the All Hallow’s Eve magic alive. Just look at those protons.

Opposites truly do attract.

BONUS: “Central Fluff: ‘Friends’ Remade With Hamsters”

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Sriracha are formally gone mainstream: McDonald’s add it to burgers

1 month, 16 days ago

Image: flickr, Mike Mozart

2016 is genuinely the dawning of a new age because McDonald’s now serves Sriracha.

The fast food chain famous for its classic burgers and chicken nuggets is upping their gourmet game by slathering the sauce on their newest Big Mac.

Image: mcdonald’s

According to a press release, the company is calling their particular brand of sauce, “Signature Sriracha” or “Awesome Sauce.” You know, for the kids.

The sauce is a combination of the beloved Sriracha and the company’s signature Big Mac sauce.

Image: mcdonald’s

While many customers are eager find their favorite flavoring so readily available, others have deemed Sriracha hipster hot sauce.

However, thespicy chili sauce has been a staple in different Asian restaurants and an increasingly popular grocery store item for many years. If anything, its recent popularity is a result of culture appropriation that McDonald’s has, in turn, also appropriated.

Image: mcdonald’s

Still, this is good news to foodies who are occasionally crave a little drive-thru.

The new burger has been tested out San Diego and Los Angeles over the last month and will be available in participating Seattle eateries starting July 7.


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Bad flute version of the ‘2 0th Century Fox’ logo made a wonderful Halloween costume

2 months, 6 days ago

The classic flute and snare drum intro for 20 th Century Fox productions is the perfect tune to get you into the mood for Halloween, but a few years ago, a silly viral videocompletely ruined any majestic appeal the intro had earned for years to come with a crappy flute rendition.

Just as the memory of the bad flute version of the intro was gazing to fade, Soohon Kim brought it back to haunt the beginning of your movies for years to come with his genius Halloween costume.

Some things are best left ruined.

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Sesame Street’s holiday special is an old-timey pleasure

2 months, 6 days ago

The snow tumbles down on Muppets in top hats as a mustachioed Cookie Monster offers a Santa’d Jim Gaffigan a chocolate chip cookie. This is the scene on situated as Sesame Street shoots its first holiday special in 10 years.

“Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas” is a Dickensian tale told through a furry lens of children’s television. Much of the special takes place in an old-timey Sesame Street populated by the ancestors of the street’s familiar, fuzzy faces.

Image: zach hyman

Image: zach hyman

Set designer David Gallo took modern Sesame Street back to the 19 th century with sepia tones, ivy-covered iron gates and laundry hang by clothespins over the familiar cobblestone. The characters themselves underwent their own period makeovers, trading their regular clothes and ogre fur for dashing, hand-sewed tweed outerwear and exaggerated facial hair.

Image: zach hyman

The story starts inside the bedroom of Elmo as his daddy tells him the story of a Sesame Street from long ago that was so unfriendly, Santa put the entire block on the naughty list. Merely through the kindness and cheer of Elmo’s great-great-grandmonster( also named Elmo) does Sesame Street transform into the warm fuzzy-filled neighborhood millions of children know today.

That’s the short version the longer version that unfolds in “Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas” includes musical numbers featuring Broadway legend Audra McDonald, Girls superstar Zosia Mamet and Jim Gaffigan in the perfectly casted role of Santa Claus.

In between takes, Gaffigan sits in his sleigh, joking with the Muppeteers and Muppets readying for the next shot. He skeptically nibbles on a cookie handed over by a fuzzy-handed ogre, and says, “All I savor is beard” with a hearty and jolly laugh worthy of the red suit he’s wearing.

Image: ZACH HYMAN

When asked how producers settled on Gaffigan for the role of Santa, Brown Johnson, EVP and Creative Director of Sesame Workshop, told: “He’s the perfect Santa, very fun, and very funny. And he must love kids because he has so many! He had such a good time with us that he did all of his press interviews that day in his Santa costume in his Santa voice.”

Image: ZACH HYMAN

The father-of-five and clear Sesame Street fan paused before wrapping his final day on set by asking the Muppets to shoot selfies and videos for his kids. Because only the coolest of papas pal around with Bert and Ernie.

Elmo just confused @jimgaffigan for Santa! Or does Santa uncannily resemble Jim Gaffigan?

A photo posted by Sesame Street (@ sesamestreet) on Jun 15, 2016 at 11:13 am PDT

Image: zach hyman

“Once Upon a Sesame Street Christmas” re-airs Dec. 24 at 9 a. m. ET on HBO.

Image: ZACH HYMAN

Image: ZACH HYMAN

Image: ZACH HYMAN

Image: ZACH HYMAN

Image: zach hyman

BONUS: Cookie Monster Shower Thoughts

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The strangest insults politicians dropped this year around the world

2 months, 13 days ago

Such unparliamentary speech .
Image: getty/ mashable composite

Are you ready for the sickest burns by the most flame politicians of 2016?

Bar a certain southeast Asian leader and a president-elect, most insults thrown around in politics this year were more mild than wild. But nonetheless weird.

The Society of Clerks have compiled this year’s naughtiest express in their most recent version of publication, The Table . It’s full to the brim with terms uttered by legislators in the parliaments of countries such as Australia, Canada, New Zealand, India and South Africa.

Get ready for the tamest, lamest calls ever. Except in Australia, where they really DGAF.

Australia

– The Dr Goebbels of economic policy.

– The Australian people see you as a very unsavoury is part of the House.

– The cockroach of the Australian Labor Party.

– The question was about his dog of a policy.

– You are such a grub.

– Free trade is bullshit.

– Aren’t you the real clown, and one with a massive credibility deficit?

– You would think the foreign minister might actually guess before she opens her big fat trap and says stupid things in this parliament.

– They are the tools over the other side this is gonna be bashed.

– Here is another muppet.

– Those blokes would sell smokings to kids if they had a chance.

– Youve got to stop smoking the funny stuff. Youve got to stop smoking so much pot.

– My topic is to the village idiot.

– He is not here. He is talking to Tinker Bell on his unicorn phone.

– You nitwit.

– You knucklehead.

– You lot stink.

Canada

– You are full of crap.

– Mr Speaker, extraordinary. Living in a Canada, where that sort of idiocy pass for argument in the House of Parliament.

– That man is a jester you have no clue.

– Patronage is the K-Y Jelly of politics in an absolute orgy of political patronage the whole war room of the Conservative partys election campaign was appointed to the Senate as one big fat “F you” to the Canadian public.

India

– Shut up, you will be silenced.

– Can I not call a burglar a burglar?

– Who is screaming? Does not your common sense work? Are we in Parliament or in a market?

– Pimps of power.

New Zealand

– Go back to supporting marijuana.

– Battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

South Africa

– We are going to made you physically now.

– A fool elected by a fool will be led by a fool, but the biggest fool is the buffoon who elected that fool.

– Tellytubby.

Of course, we all know what these politicians are truly trying to say.

They could take some lessons in letting it all out from Irish politician Paul Gogarty back in 2009. And yes, it actually contains coarse language.

BONUS: ‘Rogue One: A Star Wars Story’ reimagined as a homemade trailer

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Burger King Instagram remarks help catch an unfaithful boyfriend

4 months, 5 days ago

Thanks to social media, secrets have no place to hide.

One unfortunate boyfriend received this out after he made what he thought was an innocuous comment on a Burger King Instagram photo.

He felt the need to share the story of his drive-through experience with his “girl” to the wide world of Instagram. He likely didn’t think that anyone he knew would insure his comment among the hundreds that pepper Burger King’s Instagram.

But lo and behold, person did see it.

Image: instagram

Instagrammer shanlee_rose then proceeded to tag some of her girlfriends in the post, so she could get some backup on the issue.

Image: instagram

“F ** king knew it, ” one of her friends commiserated.

“I told you I considered him with a girl, ” the other concurred. All evidence pointed to the inevitable fact that this guy was about to get roasted alive in Burger King’s Instagram commentaries, of all places.

But the boyfriend wasn’t going to go down without defending himself first.

Image: instagram

Image: instagram

Absolutely savage.

So, with Valentine’s Day fast approaching, we’d just like to remind you to not be stupid on social media. Because relationships can be made and broken anywhere.

Image: instagram

Even on Burger King’s Instagram.

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Girl convinces her Tinder match that she’s actually a beet farmer with a little assistance from ‘The Office’

4 months, 16 days ago

Image: nbc/ caro_bearo/ Twitter

Jim Halpert would be proud of this level of trolling.

A college freshman named Caroline channeled her inner Dwight Schrute and successfully convinced a guy she fulfilled on Tinder that she was a beet farmer, with a very modest 60 -acre beet farm in her name.

The dude, named Nate, kind of define himself up though where reference is questioned her love for beets. Caroline told Nate that her grandpa left her the farm, and that she operates it with her cousin Mose.

Image: caro_bearo

Caroline dropped a few quotes from The Office , like when Dwight looks into the camera and says, “those who can’t farm, farm celery.”

Image: caro_bearo

And Nate went with it. He even tried to use the conversation to brag about his family’s off-the-grid cabin. Good moves, Nate.

Image: caro_bearo

Caroline tweeted her interaction this weekend, which had now been racked up over 7,000 retweets and some pretty great responses.

Caroline told BuzzFeed that while most of the responses to her tweet were good, some were a little upset that she was trolling someone who was just trying to have a nice conversation..

“A few people have said that it was mean of me to continue with the conversation when he was trying to be nice and build dialogue, but it was all in good fun and no ones feelings were hurt, ” Caroline told BuzzFeed .

She also says that she owned up and told Nate that she wasn’t a beet farmer.

“He thought it was hilarious and that it was cool that it was get so many retweets, ” she told BuzzFeed .

BONUS: NBD, simply a massive alligator out for a stroll

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‘Angry women’ channel their rage in moving gallery during Trump’s inaugural week

5 months, 3 days ago

Are you angry? So are they.

The Untitled Space gallery in New York City opened a powerful exhibition titled UPRISE/ ANGRY WOMEN on Tuesday, featuring the work of 80 female contemporary artists responding to the current social and political climate in America in light of the 2016 presidential election.

Curated by gallery director and artist Indira Cesarine, the exhibit displays 80 pieces of art created by American, female-identifying artists, created between the election and President-elect Trump’s Jan. 20 inauguration.

“The day after the outcome of the elections were announced, in fact – that afternoon that Hillary conceded, I merely personally felt compelled to like start working on the exhibit, ” Cesarine told Mashable. “It only struck me that…a lot of artists would have very passionate works and statements to say with their art work right now with regards to … subjects revolving around a lot of the issues that were exposed over the course of the Trump campaign.”

“Donald Trump with a Crown of Roadkill”

“F $@ KTrump”

Set to run from Jan. 17 -2 8 in the Tribeca gallery, the exhibit will be displayed throughout Trump’s inauguration week, purposefully timed with the Jan. 21 Womens March on Washington, the J2 0 Art Strike and various inaugural protests around the country.

“Its important for the work to be timely and relevant with whats going on, ” the curator explained, “Its a series of art that responds immediately to the election, and to Trumps presidency … as well as his attitude and comments and campaign.”

“Were voicing our indignation and using that as a tool to challenge the status quo.”

With over 1800 submissions of artwork by over 400 artists, “its one” of the most challenging exhibits the curator had to date.

“It was a far bigger response than I was expecting, ” she said. “Particularly as we noted that we were prioritizing new works created specifically for the show.””Every artist responded in such a different way, ” Cesarine explained.

“Every artist responded in such a different way, ” Cesarine explained. “Some artists had very figurative, emotional replies of fury, fear, sadness, feeling like the world is over…and other artists had very satirical works that is really very amusing.”

The name of the exhibit, UPRISE/ ANGRY WOMEN, is no arbitrary choice.

“The idea of women who are strong and powerful being angry is often used against them. A powerful female boss is often referred to as a bitch, ” Cesarine said. “Our show title sort of plays on not only the impression with having such a sexist, misogynist, racist chairperson being elected, but also challenge that whole stereotype of a powerful female with an opinion.”

“Were voicing our fury and using that as a tool to challenge the status quo in art, ” she said.

“Wrong Side Feelings”

“Dear Partriarch”

“I can be bold and unapologetic in my paintings … I’m angry.”

“Painting allows me to say…things and convey ideas and concepts that I would not ordinarily speak out loud, ” artist Kristen Williams wrote of her work in the exhibit, “I can be bold and unapologetic in my paintings.”

“I’m angry at America for electing a reality TV starring, racist, misogynist, to be our new commander in chief, ” the artist continued, “I am angry for so many reasons…my route of dealing with this anger is not to pick up a firearm , not to oppose physically, but to pick up my paintbrush and to put my impressions on canvas.”

The aim of the exhibit is to create, “A platform for the artwork to be visible, for it to be seen, and to make sure that that artwork gets out there and is represented, ” according to the curator. “I think that theres a lot of artists that are responding with their own works of art right now on these subjects, but at the end of the day if its not exhibited on a public platform, in an art galleryit simply objective up lost in the shuffle.”

“I thought it very important…to take the opportunity the minute that the election results were announced to make sure that we channel all that passion and rage that people…and artists are feeling right now, ” she continued.

“Artists, as we all know, are a reflection of populous and have always represented … how society is feeling.”

UPRISE/ ANGRY WOMEN

Image: CHRISTINA CAREAGA/ MASHABLE

“I really wanted that to reflect in the efforts and not only specifically be a New York City show, but be an American show about the issues, ” Cesarine said, highlighting that artists featured in the exhibit come from diverse backgrounds across the country.

“CurrentMood”

“Winning-Personality Target”

“I see this exhibit not only as a collective of feminist and political work, but also as an act of protest in itself against[ Trump] being elected, ” she continued.

All of the exhibit’s powerful art is for sale, with 25 percent of the profits being donated to the ERA Coalition’s Fund for Women’s Equality, an organization working to raise awareness on gaps in the law that leave women without legal recourse from sex discrimination, and expanding educational resources on the need for a constitutional provision to protect and promote equal rights for women.

UPRISE/ ANGRY WOMEN

Image: christina careaga/ mashable

For more information on the exhibit and its upcoming events, check the gallery’s website.

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Short grandma tries to put a baby in crib and fails miserably

5 months, 26 days ago

Baby monitors are typically used to make sure the little one is safe, but sometimes the cameras capture things that are just downright hilarious.

Valerie Routh Sharp, 61, was lovingly putting her granddaughter down to sleep last Friday when she had a bit of an accident. Sharp’s daughter, Nikki Sharp Bishop explains on Facebook that her mother is five feet tall, so actually getting her grandchild into the tall crib can be a little difficult.

In the clip, Sharp employs a stepping stool to make it a little easier for her to reach over the top of the large crib, but gravitation gets the best of her and she aims up tumbling face-first into the crib with the little one.

According to the Huffington Post both Sharp and newborn were unharmed in the incident, and Sharp has a great attitude about the whole thing.

So many people have ensure my butt in the air, Sharp told Bishop after the clip started to gain traction on Facebook.

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