News moves on pretty quickly these days, so you’ve probably already forgotten about the Taylor/ Kanye drama from a while back. I’ll let you rack your brains for a minute and see if it comes back to you …
Got a vague recollection? Good.
In February, Kanye played a new song called Famous at his Madison Square Garden album launch show. In the song, Kanye raps, I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex/ Why? I stimulated that bitch famous . …. Awks.
Following the release of the anthem, Kanye claimed that Taylor not only personally signed off on the lyrics, but came up with them herself.
Taylors team, on the other hand, claims that shedid no such thing and was not made aware.
In her interviewwith GQ, Knaye’s wifeKim K spoke out on the topic and called bullsh* t, saying ;P TAGEND
She altogether approved that. She wholly knew that that was coming out. She wanted to all of a sudden act like she didnt.
She continues 😛 TAGEND
I dont know why she only, you know, flipped all of a sudden It was funny because[ on the call with Kanye, Taylor] said, When I get on the Grammy red carpet, all the media is going to think that Im so against this, and Ill just chuckle and say, The gags on you, guys. I was in on it the whole period. And Im like, await, but[ in] your Grammy speech, you totally dissed my husband only to play the victim again.
Uh oh. Kim also claims theres video proof that this conversation happened because there were videographers there documenting the process of developing the album. However, surely Kanye would have released it by now if that were true?
According to Kim, however, Taylor knows the footage exists because, allegedlyKanye received an attorneys letter saying, Dont ever let that footage come out of me saying that. Destroy it.
GQ contacted Taylors team for a reply, and while a spokesperson declined to answer specific questions, a statement was provided basically sayingthat Taylor heard the sung for the first time when everyone else did.
And it ended with this cracker 😛 TAGEND
Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.
Uh oh .
Philosophical quotes. There are too many of them and most of them aren’t even deep. Want to see what I mean? Go on Tumblr and click on the first thing you assure. It will probably be a picture of a silhouette, or some blooms or something with writing over it saying something like “ Showers wash away the bad supposes. Someone out there loves you . ” Terrible .
But we’re into funny doctrine. It’s much better. It would be far too easy only to quote a loading of Jaden Smithtweets … so we’ve only done that a couple of times.
1. We’ll start with one to be safe …
2. Rudyard Kipling was a fantastic devotee .
3. The only real friend this cruel world has to offer .
4. You’re the person you hate the most .
5. Last one. We promise .
6. Was this written with the weak hand so whoever did it didn’t get caught ? 7. That poor dog .
8. When a packet makes you think about life .
9. To be fair …
10. That red-nosed, sarcy puppet is asking for a slap .
11. We feel you, brother .
12. They’re right .
13. And we’ll leave you with this one …
Feel like Socrates? If you do, run get yourself checked out. 13 stupid internet quotes should not have that effect.
Tell us what you think in the comments ! — >
Kim Kardashian has been fooling us this whole period. Here I was, thinking that she was one of those celebs that never truly had a talent and got by thanks to her showboating public image. How wrong I was- it turns out she’s a secret agent .
This crackpot theory hasn’t been dreamed up by some stoner on Reddit, but is the brainchild of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corp. Vanity Fair reports thatthe groups Organized Cyberspace Crimes Unit believesKardashian isworking for Instagram as part of a complicated ploy to target young people and women.
How does she carry out her evil? By targeting them with aspirational photos showing alifestyle that conflicts with Islam. Whilst the two may seem completely unconnected, Kardashian’s grandparents immigrated to the US from Armenia, which borders Iran.
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@ kimkardashian) on Apr 23, 2016 at 6:05 pm PDT
Mostafa Alizadeh, a spokesman for theIranian Revolutionary Guards Corp, said on a local news program 😛 TAGEND
“Ms. Kim Kardashian is a popular fashion model so Instagrams C.E.O. tells her, Construct this native.There is no doubt that financial support is involved as well. We are taking this very seriously.”
The organisation believes that Kardashian social media accounts arepromoting a culture of promiscuity, weakening and rejecting the institution of family, ridiculing religious values and beliefs, promoting relationships outside moral regulations, and was published private pictures of young women.
Wow. Just Wow …
Well, kids- it’s officer. The future is upon us. You can now smear a dick-shaped object all over your mouth in public without it being weird !
Warning: NSFW and somewhat rudey-dudey content ahead.
Well kind of, people will still stare. But hey, at least your lips will be cute.
The worst proportion is that these rude lipsticks have actually existed for years, apparently, but they’re only just coming to sun now. How horrible to know we’ve been missing these beauties this whole time.
They have a pretty good similarity to a trouser snake, except for the colour. Some of them are definitely not the kind of colour you would ever want your bits to turn.
The best part? They’re super cheap. Only 1.06, in fact. So you could have 14 pretty funny dick shaped lipsticks for the price of one Mac lipstick. Why ever would you not?
Uhhhhhhhh I love this
A photo posted by The Skinny Jewish (@ prozac_morris) on May 18, 2016 at 6:18 pm PDT
You can buy them here if you imagination it.
Though, uh, perhaps hold back employing it in public unless you’re feeling particularly brave. Or drunk. Or both.
Go forth and smear penis on your face, people.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments
Waitrose, what a place. It’s like a supermarket, but it’s not just any supermarket, it’s Waitrose .
As you can probably tell from that wordy, detailed introduction I haven’t spent a whole lot of time in Waitrose, but like others I have my preconceptions, and this Twitter account reaches it on the head. I doubt these things ever happened( the top one aside) but it’s still funny.
You see a famous person. What do you do? Leave it? Hurl abuse? Get a scene? We don’t know to be honest. We’re all a-listers here at helloU so we’re pretty chilled about it .
But whatever you do, these guys find it is essential that they document their meeting with a photograph which, as you know, typically last longer than simply looking( there should be a phrase about that .)
But there’s a problem with their pictures of famous person … there’s no famous people in them.
1. Just the President of America paying a low-key visit to Paraguay
2. The only similarity that guy has with Bill Murray is that Bill Murray probably once wore green
3. Just a human with a beard
4. Bruno’s being particularly intimate
5. That’s probably that guy’s biggest pulling technique
6. To be fair, she seems delighted
7. Again, simply a bearded man ! 8. OK fair enough he is prettyidenticalto Hugh Laurie .
9. Ian Mckellen chillin’ in a Russian bar
10. Apparently? We can see it. You did .
11. Looks good for 72
12. That guy’s espousing it
13. Lorde looks like she’s had one too many
14. The other guy looks more like James Blunt than he does Marylin
15. He’s gone back to his 1994 hair eventually !
16. Making sure he doesn’t speak and give it away
17. Not even remotely similar ! 18. You met a bald man with glasses. There’s loads of them . 19. Another bearded human .
20. Blonde girl in what looks like a Wetherspoons saloon
21. He’s got the hair down but that’s it
22. From ten years ago ?
23. We’d know if that was Shia, he’d have stabbed him by now
24. It’s like someone seriously described Steven Tyler over the phone to them
25. Never mind not Taylor Swift. What’s up with that affiliation ?!
26. Second comment has it right
27. With all his cash behind him
28. No clue-ney
29. He’s just happy for the attention
30. To be fair, he does have two chains
31. Did they have to share the adult liquor ?
It’s hard to say you wouldn’t take advantage of it if you appeared just like a famous person.
What do you think? Let us know in the comments !
If you’ve ever worked at somewhere that serves food, you’ll understand the caring attitude that staff develop toward regular customers .
And no , not regular customers who turn up once a month. We mean, that guy who turns up at 11:34 AM exactly every day for his beaker of black coffee, for which he always has the exact change to pay for.
And you hear about how his wife has just put up new curtains, and which uni his child got into.( Hi Jon from the cafe I used to work at. Send Susie my love !)
Well, being a regular customer actually saved this guy’s life.
Kirk Alexander, from Oregon, was saved by Domino’s Pizza staff after they realized he hadn’t ordered food in 11 days.
Staff at a Salem Domino’s Pizza became concerned for the man, 47, where reference is failed to place an order in nearly 2 week. So much so that they are able to sent one of their delivery drivers to his home to check on him.
When Tracey Hamblen, an employee, knocked on his doorway just after midnight on Sunday, he didn’t respond. Which, to some, might not have seemed too strange because, you know, people sleep after midnight.
Tracey knew something was up, however, and called 911- and Kirk was found by the emergency services on the floor of his home after suffering an alleged stroke.
Dominoes general manager Sarah Fuller told KOIN that Kirk has been ordering from the branch since 2009, so they knew it was odd that they hadn’t heard from him in so long.
“He orders every day, every other day, ” she said. “His order pops up on the screen because he orders online. So we see it come across the screen and we’re like,’ Oh, Kirk’s order’.
“He orders all the time, so we know him. I think we were just doing our undertaking checking in on someone we know who orders a lot. We felt like we needed to do something.”
Not to point out the flaws in this heroic tale, but the daily Dominoes pizza can’t have helped his health problems. That doesn’t, however, faulting the caring nature of the staff at his local Dominoes.
Amazing. What do you think? Let us know in the comments