I’m Not Shocked By The Negativity I Receive About My Interracial Relationship13 days ago
Patience is a virtue that is suggested to everyone. But if you are in an interracial relationship in 2016, patience is a necessary skill. A sense of humor will take you a long way too, but you won’t make it out the front doorway without patience.
I consider myself a biracial woman, although, based on societal stipulations, I am classified as a black female. I would categorize myself the same if my mind worked solely on a binary scale. I date an Irish-Indian-Scottish man who is, you guessed it, a white man.
Why is this important? I’m not really sure. I’m still trying to figure it out.
Being a black woman has always been my truth, and something I espouse proudly. I love everything about my heritage, culture, skin and hair. #BlackGirlMagic, if you will.
By identifying as a black woman, I often get placed into stereotypes that contradict my personality, beliefs or perspectives. This is never more present to me than when I am out with my boyfriend and get gazed at like a unicorn on a busy street corner.
Here are some facts about us 😛 TAGEND
Our lifestyles aren’t different. We grew up with similar surroundings, experiences and upbringings.Our values aren’t different, seeing as we both believes in and strive for the same qualities in life and as humans.Our respective religions, political views and overall life outlooks are remarkably similar.
But our scalp tones are vastly different shades, thus inviting a slew of ignorant the issues and premises to be placed on our relationship that normally wouldn’t be there.
At first, I believed it to be a Southern habit because living in the deep south can be hard for anyone deemed “different.” Then it started happens in our travellings out of state at the hands ofpeople who have never stepped a foot over the Mason Dixon line.
It has always baffled me as to why people am worried about the lives of others, when that person literally does nothing to influence your own life.
It’s the amount of attention that stimulates you want to shrieking, “HI. HELLO. I Assure YOU.” But, that’s not very polite, is it?
Oftentimes, it gets to a phase where you merely wishes to carry around a bunch of cards stating things via “Love Actually, ” with answers like, “No, neither of us are having problem identifying with our respective cultures.”
Actually, we haven’t “was talkin about a” kids yet but I’m sure they will identify as “human.”
No, his mommy actually loves and adores me . Yes, we both speak proper English and are natural-born citizens of the US . No, I don’t feel like I’ve betrayed my race by dating him. But thank you for having caring .
According to this report by Pew Research Center, 12 percent of newlyweds in 2013 married someone of a different race. And beyond that, 6.3 percent of all weddings in 2013 were interracial.
That’s a lot of people who are living, breathing and loving person of a different race. So why is it such a spectacle?
I’ve never understood why find an interracial couple walking down the street can elicit the same reactions as find a giraffe graze peacefully in your suburban yard like it’s not supposed to be there, but you still can’t pull your eyes and judgements away from it.
At periods, I chalk it up to my insecurities as to why this person maintains looking at us across the restaurant, or why that man is shaking his head seemingly in our direction.
But other times more specifically, when a black human asks me the issues to, How are you able support black humen/ black lives when you date a white man? I think to myself, “What the actual fucking? ”
That question is completely ridiculous and I normally refuse to answer it, but for the sake of such articles, here’s what I will say.
There is absolutely no correlation between those two things. I hate the double standard presented to women of colouring when they date outside of their race, and it’s about hour it was halted.
Also, according to this same report from the Pew Research Center, black humen are much more likely than girls to marry person of a different race. Merely 12 percent of black females married outside of their race in 2013, as opposed to the nearly full one-quarter of black men who married outside of theirs.
I’ve always been shocked by the amount of attention America pays to the color of someone’s skin, and sadly, I have been subjected to it for the better part of my life.
From the dreaded What are you? to the never-ending, Well, you’re not like normal black people” it’s rare I get away with not being questioned about my race.
But the question of interracial dating is something that never ceases to astound me. It can come from literally anyone, even your more level-headed and liberal friend.
If we continue to objectify people by their race, we’ll never get rid of the systemic racism that flows through our society.
To give in to the hatred of the world is to let people’s ignorance win. It’s devoting people the power to influence and change Their own lives when they play no pivotal role in it.
There’s not a person alive who should allow this negativity to dictate theirlives, yet sadly, there are quite a bit who do.
An Elite Daily writer wrote about her experience with interracial dating, and the personal insecurities that grew from her negative experience with it. That violated my heart, because love is love.
I’ll even hashtag it so it means a bit more. #LoveIsLove.
We shout this from the rooftops, but barely present it to one another. It’s about hour we walk the walk because I, for one, am getting sick of this shit.
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