Imagine there’s no Sgt Pepper. It’s all too easy in the era of Trump and May | John Harris

13 hours ago

This great Beatles album is as thrilling a listen as ever on its 50 th anniversary: but its a melancholy day for the one-world counterculture the record soundtracked

At the time Sgt Pepper was released, the American writer Langdon Winner once recalled, I happened to be driving across the country on Interstate 80. In each city where I stopped for gas or food Laramie, Ogallala, Moline, South Bend the tunes wafted in from some far-off transistor radio or portable hi-fi For a brief while, the irreparably fragmented consciousness of the west was unified, at the least in the minds of the young.

How far away it all seems. On 26 May the 50th anniversary of the Beatles Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band( it actually falls on 1 June) is likely to be marked by the release of remixed and repackaged versions of the original album. With his characteristically jolly meeknes, Paul McCartney insists in the latest issue of Mojo magazine that its only a record but its gained in notoriety over the years. The truth is that Sgt Pepper might be the most confident, boundary-pushing record British rock musicians had already been generated, and it is worth revisiting again.

We might also think about the era the album crystallised, and its long legacy. Sgt Pepper is not quite the quintessentially psychedelic, love-and-peace artefact of historical cliche: streaked through its multicoloured astonish is a very Beatle-ish various kinds of melancholy, partly rooted in the bands decidedly unpsychedelic postwar childhoods. But the wider culture moment, and the Beatles place at its heart, were indeed replete with beads, buzzers and a wide-eyed optimism.

Three weeks after the album came out, the band were the biggest attraction in the worlds first global satellite TV demonstrate, singing All You Need Is Love to an audience of as many as 350 million. Meanwhile, on both the US west coast and in swinging London, young people on the cutting edge genuinely were trying to push into a future very different from the one their parents had envisaged.

The so-called counterculture may not initially have reached much beyond its urban nerve centres and campuses. But the basic ideas Sgt Pepper soundtracked soon acquired enough influence to begin no end of social revolutions. A new emphasis on self-expression was manifested in the decisive arrival of feminism and gay liberation. Countries and borders came a distant second to the idea of one world.

Such shibboleths as matrimony until death and a job for life were quickly weakened. Once the leftist unrest of 1968 was out of the way, the shift continued away from the old-fashioned politics of systems and social structures towards the idea of freeing ones mind everything coloured with an essentially optimistic position of the future.

Two years after Sgt Peppers release, a young alumnu at Wellesley College, a women-only institution in Massachusetts, dedicated a speech. Our persisting acquisitive and competitive corporate life, including tragically the universities, is not the way of life for us, she said. Were searching for more immediate, ecstatic, and penetrating modes of living. And so our topics, our questions about our institutions, about our colleges, about our churches, about our government continue.

Her name was Hillary Rodham, and her journey says a lot about where 1960 s values eventually resulted us. To quote the music novelist Charles Shaar Murray, the line from hippy to yuppie was not nearly as convoluted as some people subsequently liked to believe and once the love decades more ambitious alumni reached positions of power, the origin of many of their notions was as clear as day.

Their professed distaste for corporate values fell away, but the hippy individualism summed up in the future Hillary Clintons insistence on immediate and ecstatic ways of life lived on, as did a questioning attitude to tradition, and to the stifling the limit of the old-fashioned nation state.

After the anti-6 0s backlash symbolised by Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan, by the mid-9 0s such notions were shaping a new political establishment, exemplified by Bill Clinton, and Blair and Browns New Labour. I am a modern man, from the rocknroll generation. The Beatles, colour TV, thats my generation, said Blair. Clinton honked away at his saxophone and ended his rallies with a song by Fleetwood Mac.

It is not hard to read across from these legislators ideals to what they soaked up in their formative years. In 2005 Blair, who fronted a long-haired band while at Oxford University, told the Labour party conference that people should be swift to adapt, slow to complain open, willing and able to change. Collectivity was yesterdays thing; against a background of globalisation and all-enveloping liberalism, governments task was to encourage people to be as flexible and self-questioning as possible.

John Lennons response to the rebels of 68: the Beatles build Revolution rock

Go back 50 years, and you perhaps hear early stirrings of those ideas, soaked in patchouli petroleum and put to tape at EMIs Abbey Road studios. Try George Harrisons Indian-flavoured Within You Without You: Try to realise its all within yourself/ No one else can construct you change . Or what about John Lennons response to the rebels of 68 in Revolution( on the so-called White Album )? You tell me its the institution/ Well, you know/ Youd better free your intellect instead . As for a picture of globalised utopia, after the Beatles had broken up, Lennon released that saccharine anthem Imagine, with its key line: Imagine theres no countries .

And now? If youre a citizen of the world, youre a citizen of nowhere, says our new “ministers “. If we do indeed live in the post-liberal times endlessly analysed in academic papers, it is the inheritance of the 60 s that is in question. For sure, many of the changes that originated then have become irreversibly embedded in millions of lives. Positions to marriage, sexuality and matters such as race are seemingly more liberal than ever; wherever you go, youre never very far from the whiff of marijuana smoke.

But the dominance of post-6 0s individualism and globalisation is being weakened by the resurgence of collective identities meant to have withered away: class, nation, region. And if the events of 2016 and 2017 are anything to go by, political success now often goes to people whose values seem the polar opposite of the old counterculture.

Duty, nationhood, and regular trips to church: whatever values Theresa May affects to represent, they are surely redolent of a world that existed long before the 1960 s( consider also her parliamentary record, which includes votes against equalising the age of permission, lesbian adoption and the repeal of section 28 ).

Last year, a New York Post article contrasted Hillary Clintons embodiment of the campus 1960 s with the sense that Donald Trump was an unexpected throwback to the Rat Pack, those macho exemplars of everything the hippies wanted to sweep away. Trump, said the author, represented pre-Feminist Man, the guy who boasts about never having changed a nappy and expects subservience from his wives.

Sgt Pepper arrived two decades after the second world wars objective: approximately the same historical distance that separates the Brexit/ Trump age from the high point of the Clinton/ Blair era. Devote a 21 st-century polish, the albums music voices as thrilling as ever, though with a bittersweet sense of a credo abruptly falling victim to a counter-revolution.

On the last track of the old side two, the bell-like piano chords that begin A Day in the Life are applied to sound like the death knell of all the inward-looking, fusty, moralistic ideas the Beatles came to do away with. How strange to tune in half a century afterwards and find all that stuff back with a vengeance.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

13 Quotes That Are Just Too Deep For You To Manage

2 days ago

Philosophical quotes. There are too many of them and most of them aren’t even deep. Want to see what I mean? Go on Tumblr and click on the first thing you assure. It will probably be a picture of a silhouette, or some blooms or something with writing over it saying something like “ Showers wash away the bad supposes. Someone out there loves you . ” Terrible .

But we’re into funny doctrine. It’s much better. It would be far too easy only to quote a loading of Jaden Smithtweets … so we’ve only done that a couple of times.

1. We’ll start with one to be safe …

2. Rudyard Kipling was a fantastic devotee .

3. The only real friend this cruel world has to offer .

4. You’re the person you hate the most .

5. Last one. We promise .

6. Was this written with the weak hand so whoever did it didn’t get caught ? 7. That poor dog .

8. When a packet makes you think about life .

9. To be fair …

10. That red-nosed, sarcy puppet is asking for a slap .

11. We feel you, brother .

12. They’re right .

13. And we’ll leave you with this one …

Feel like Socrates? If you do, run get yourself checked out. 13 stupid internet quotes should not have that effect.

Tell us what you think in the comments ! — >

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Rush aren’t dead! Neil Peart hasn’t retired!

One week ago

Fans of intricate hard rock were despairing when it seemed Rushs drummer had hurled in the towel. But the bands Geddy Lee says people got it wrong

On 7 December, when the tale ran viral across various music websites, the headlines were unequivocal. Rush drummer Neil Peart has retired, said Metal Injection, complete with tongue-in-cheek Bummer Alert :. For fans of the multi-million selling Canadian band described by Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett as the high priests of conceptual metal this was indeed a bummer of epic proportions.

Neil Peart is no ordinary drummer. In the areas of heavy stone, Peart is, by popular consensus, second only to the late John Bonham of Led Zeppelin. And just as Bonhams death in 1980 was the end of Led Zeppelin, so the virtuoso Peart is irreplaceable to the band he has served as drummer and lyricist since 1974. If the narrative were true, that was it for Rush.

The source was an article that the 63 -year-old Peart wrote for Drumhead magazine, in which he referred to comments make use of his young daughter. Lately, Olivia has been introducing me to new friends at school as My dad hes a retired drummer. True to say, funny to hear. Peart went on to quote a line he wrote for a 1982 Rushing ballad. It does not pain me be recognised that, like all athletes, there comes a time to take yourself out of video games. I would rather set it aside then face the quandary described in our anthem Losing It( Sadder still to watch it die, than never to have known it ).

The response from Rush fans on social media was an outpouring of hopelessnes, mixed with a degree of uber-fan one-upmanship: I ensure them back in 78 at Newcastle City Hall. Ive find 102 Rush gigs. The kind of stuff that geeks revel in and fans of Rush are notoriously geeky.

But was Peart truly saying what they thought he was saying? In the absence of an official clarification from Peart, it was Rush bassist/ vocalist Geddy Lee who defined the record straight, when he spoke to Prog magazine on 8 December. According to Lee, what Peart said was simply a verification of what he has said repeatedly in the past years that he is no longer willing to tour for months on end, as Rush have done throughout their 40 -year career. Simply, that Peart is retired from touring, but not from the band. I think Neil is just explaining his reasons for not wanting to tour with the toll that its taking on his body, Lee said, alluding to the tendonitis the drummer now suffers from.

There is, however, another factor in all of this Pearts dedication to his family. As Peart said in 2012: Frankly, people dont realise the sacrifice you make as a touring musician. Being away when children are growing up and when your partner requires you around, its wrenching.

The truth of the matter is that Peart did retire from Rush in the late 90 s, in accordance with the death of his daughter Selena in a auto crash, and the loss of his first spouse Jacqueline to cancer. It was merely after he remarried in 2000 that he was persuaded by his new wife, photographer Carrie Nuttall to return to the band.

Since then, Rush have enjoyed a later-career renaissance. For a band that has sold more than 40 m albums, they have remained a cult phenomenon under the radar, as guitarist Alex Lifeson puts it. But the bands 2012 album Clockwork Angels was a huge hit: No 1 in Canada, No 2 in the US. And in 2013, Rush were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, joined on stage at the ceremony by the Foo Fighters, who performed a classic Hurry-up anthem, The Overture, from the 1976 album 2112, while wearing wigs and the kind of flowing white satin robes that Rush wore back in the 70 s.

Foo Fighters leader Dave Grohl whose work with Nirvana sealed his reputation as the finest boulder drummer of his generation said he screamed after fulfilling Neil Peart for the first time. Another famous drummer, Stewart Copeland, formerly of the Police, described Peart as the most air-drummed-to drummer of all time.

Geddy Lee tells the Guardian what it is that attains Peart so good: Neil blends a few things that you dont usually find in one drummer. He combines powerful stone histrionics with an incredible compositional sense more suited to a classical musician. He has the chops and they are able to switching into a jazz-like improvisational mode at any time. The other thing is the pure physicality of what he does. When you see him play live for three hours, there are very few people on Earth than can play at that level for that length of hour. Like he says, My job is like operating marathons while solving equations.

Lee feels that Pearts remarks about retirement have been misconstrued and sensationalised. Thats how it goes in the media, he says. Talking about something when theres nothing to talk about. He is adamant that Peart, and Rush, will carry on. But for how long, he cannot say. The wear and tear of age is also telling on Lifeson, who has arthritis. What Lee said in May 2015, in an interview with Classic Rock magazine, still holds true. Can we go on forever? Clearly not. And if it is the end, its going to happen in bits and pieces. If we cant used to go and do a massive tour in the future because everyone cant agree on that, theres nothing to say we cant do another record or one-off shows here and there.

Neil Peart has not retired. Not yet. But Geddy Lee knows it wont be long. All we can do, he says now, is enjoy what time we have left.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

21 Fun Scene And Tweets To Greet In The Weekend

8 days ago
1. This is going to end well … 2. Karma ….

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3. Gutted

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5. All good here …

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6. How Leo’s Oscars are going to go down

7. A special guest ..

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8. Ouch …

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10. How green is your salad ?

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11. Will they thank Steven Avery in their speech ? 12. Bread on your face .

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16. Things are about to kick off . 17. I have a weird various kinds of respect for the man’s aspiration .

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20. Good to keep your alternatives open .

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This Theory Suggests Kim Kardashian Is A Secret agent

19 days ago
Kim Kardashian has been fooling us this whole period. Here I was, thinking that she was one of those celebs that never truly had a talent and got by thanks to her showboating public image. How wrong I was- it turns out she’s a secret agent .

This crackpot theory hasn’t been dreamed up by some stoner on Reddit, but is the brainchild of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corp. Vanity Fair reports thatthe groups Organized Cyberspace Crimes Unit believesKardashian isworking for Instagram as part of a complicated ploy to target young people and women.

How does she carry out her evil? By targeting them with aspirational photos showing alifestyle that conflicts with Islam. Whilst the two may seem completely unconnected, Kardashian’s grandparents immigrated to the US from Armenia, which borders Iran.

Shot a fun tutorial today with @makeupbymario use only drug store products on my app! Link in bio

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@ kimkardashian) on Apr 26, 2016 at 10:07 pm PDT

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A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@ kimkardashian) on Apr 23, 2016 at 6:05 pm PDT

Mostafa Alizadeh, a spokesman for theIranian Revolutionary Guards Corp, said on a local news program 😛 TAGEND

“Ms. Kim Kardashian is a popular fashion model so Instagrams C.E.O. tells her, Construct this native.There is no doubt that financial support is involved as well. We are taking this very seriously.”

The organisation believes that Kardashian social media accounts arepromoting a culture of promiscuity, weakening and rejecting the institution of family, ridiculing religious values and beliefs, promoting relationships outside moral regulations, and was published private pictures of young women.

Wow. Just Wow …

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From Berlin’s warehouses to London’s estates: how cities shape music scenes

27 days ago

Cities dont get a songwriting credit or a royalty cheque. But from grunge in Seattles garages to hip-hop in New Yorks community centres, urban design has profoundly influenced musical genres across the world

Most modern music is an urban animal. Cities regularly birth music scenes, and artists often claim to be inspired by the streets, or by their neighbourhood. Yet the actual is connected with the music they make and the make environment where they do so is generally underplayed spoken about as a matter of mood, or information sources of lyrics. Music historians generally quote a critical mass of musicians as being crucial to the birth of a scene: classical composers in 18 th century Vienna, for example, or modern metal bands in Helsinki. But the city itself? Well thats principally just credited as a convenient place for the musicians to hang out though David Bowies residency in Berlin, for one, took that relationship to particularly intimate levels.

But what if a citys role isnt quite so one-note? Washington Post journalist David Maraniss became obsessed with that topic, particularly in respect to Motown. I was fascinated by the idea of why the musical magic happened in Detroit, he says. What is it about some cities and civilisations that bring about these creative explodes?

While writing his recent biography of Detroit, Maraniss came across the usual reasons cited for the rise of Motown in Detroit. First, the migration of African Americans from Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi and Louisiana for factory undertakings, bringing with them the oral traditions of church music, jazz and blues. Next, the entrepreneurial genius of one family, Berry Gordy Jr and his four sisters, who generated Motown and induced it flourish.

But Maraniss also dug into the citys economic geography, and became aware that the vast majority of Motor City residents in the 20 th century lived not in high-rise apartments, but in two-storey, single-family homes which induced it easier for the local piano producer Grinnell Brothers to deliver pianos to families, including Gordys. The particular construction of homes in Detroit, unlike many other predominantly black mill cities in the US, meant that they were crucial to the development of the Motown sound.

Berry

Motown founder Berry Gordy plays the piano as Smokey Robinson and Stevie Wonder sing together at Motown studios. Photograph: Steve Kagan/ Time Life Pictures/ Getty Images

I had no idea about the role of pianos, specifically Grinnell Brothers, Maraniss writes, until I started interviewing Motown musicians, singers and local historians, all of whom constructed the connection and said they had pianoes in their homes.

You can hear how important the piano was to the Motown sound in, for example, Earl Van Dykes passioned, pounding keyboards on to Aint Too Proud to Beg, My Guy or For Once in My Life. The affordability of the pianos, the disposable income of Detroits working class, and the fact that it was a city of single-family homes mile after mile of sturdy brick two-storey homes with commodious first-floor rooms into which pianos could be moved easily all played roles, Maraniss says.

Which got us thinking: if Motown owed its life to easy ground-floor access, where else has urban design shaped musical genres?

The garages of grunge

The cradle of creation for the 1980 s band Screaming Trees, considered one of the godfathers of grunge, was a garage in the back of a video store. The store was owned by the parents of Van and Gary Lee Conner, in Ellensburg, a small city outside Seattle. The young Conner friends painted the walls of the garage, pinned posters to the ceiling and hung up Indian tapestries and psychedelic bedspreads. For a while, Gary Lee lived in it. When the latter are joined by singer Mark Lanegan and drummer Mark Pickerel, the new band played got a couple of small shows there, too.

The best thing about the garage was that it was totally isolated, like another world we had created for the band, recalls Gary Lee, who played guitar in Screaming Trees. Since it was downtown, we could make noise all night long and not have to worry about bothering anyone.

Garages might be built for parking vehicles, bikes or household junk, but their spiritual intent, we know now, is to kickstart creativity, whether youre inventing a Mac or starting a band. Yet for the Screaming Trees, the garage wasnt simply a place to practice: it physically shaped their sound.

Like most garages, ours had a concrete floor and drywall, with boxes of junk stored around the place, Gary Lee says. But the echoes and reflections from that stuff created a audio different than, say, a club or a studio. Just listen to the soaring screeching of his guitar on the bands 1986 debut album, Clairvoyance: that scuzzy, distortion-laden sound. The garage helped to reinforce the rawness and the energy of the music. We never had another place like that after we moved over to Seattle, but the spirit of our music never truly changed.

Nirvanas

Nirvanas Kurt Cobain plays guitar in his childhood home in Aberdeen, near Seattle, Washington. Photo: AP

Moreover, 25 years on from Nirvanas Nevermind, musicologists still wonder why the grunge scene including with regard to coalesced around the cities of the Pacific Northwest. Surely, geographical isolation was a likely factor: Seattle in the 1980 s wasnt the cosmopolitan Starbucks-Microsoft-Amazon city slicker of today, and it was all very far away from the music industry hives of New York and Los Angeles. There was a culture of innovation and experimentation, a what do we have to lose? position, says Dr Tom Bell, an expert on the geography of American popular culture at the University of Tennessee.

But in those west coast cities, the committee is also rains a lot. Not merely did that damp marine climate probably persuade bands to stay in their garages and practise more, but its also somewhat temperate, meaning the garages were warm enough to hang out in without needing to be heated separately unlike, say, Minneapolis, where an unheated garage is a miserable place in wintertime. Is it any coincidence that, long before the grunge, the Pacific Northwest was also home to the first garage boulder bands like the Fabulous Wailers, Sonics and Trashmen?

The tower blocks of grime

The gleaming skyscraper of One Canada Square in east Londons Canary Wharf business district was a provocative inspiration for the 17 -year-old Dylan Mills, who grew up two miles away, on the Crossways estate in Bow. Its in your face. It takes the piss, he said after winning the 2003 Mercury prize for Boy in Da Corner, his debut grime album as Dizzee Rascal. There are rich people moving in now, people who work in the city. You can tell theyre not living the same way as us.

Dizzee

Dizzee Rascal was born in east London. Photo: Antonio Olmos for the Observer

The tower blocks of east London estates like Crossways also, however, stimulated ideal transmission sites for the pirate radio stations promoting grime, such as Rinse and Deja Vu, because they were tall enough to broadcast far and wide: a 40 W transmitter on a tower block can reach listeners up to 40 miles away.

The places of these mobile radio stations were closely guarded secrets, but were usually to be found in council estates. Station managers were locked in a non-stop game of conceal and seek with police: scaling balconies, leaping between rooftops, concealing transmitters inside rooftop ventilation ducts.

These tower blocks were labyrinthine, says photographer and film-maker Simon Wheatley, who expended more than a decade documenting the lives of grime musicians. What were the police going to do? Search in every flat where a radio station might be? It was all very hush-hush. You had to make a phone call before someone would come down and let you in. Often the station was in someones home, sometimes in their kitchen, microphone and decks next to the sink.

While he remembers friendly beakers of tea with grime musicians mums, Wheatley also noticed how the urban scenery and geography of east London influenced the darker themes and sounds of grime. The hour of grime was time of postcode warfare and stabs, he says. Territorialism meant some of these young person were scared to get a bus that would go through certain neighborhoods. Estates had a fortress-like physical appearance, and I was able to see my photograph when I heard the dark beats of grime.

The warehouses of techno

It may not have been invented there, but there is perhaps no other city where techno has flourished as much as it has in Berlin a city perfectly suited to big electronic dance parties due to its deserted spaces, empty warehouses and underground bunkers. When the Berlin Wall came down, 30% of houses in east Berlin were empty, says Der Spiegel journalist Tobias Rapp, the author of a book on the citys clubbing scene. Techno in Berlin happened in ruins, he says. E-Werk was an empty energy mill. Tresor was the empty bank vault of a former shopping centre. Planet was an empty warehouse.

DJs enjoyed the liberation of making music in places where previously they might have been incarcerated or even shot for trespassing. But in a book by journalists Felix Denk and Sven von Thulen, Detroit DJ Robert Hood describes how the dark and murky clubs of post-Wall Berlin, such as Tresor, transformed techno from a fantasy-based electronic audio to a more reality-based audio more brutal and assertive as local DJs began intensifying the velocity and abrasiveness of the voice into something harsher, more hardcore.

The 100 cm concrete walls at his subterranean club Tresor also played their part, supposes founder Dimitri Hegemann. The sound was really hard and deep. The room was not too big and the ceiling not too high, so that the sound waves had no time to distort, he says. It voiced clear, but everything was analogue. Other club proprietors began checking our sound systems to do the same.

David

David Bowie at Hansa studio, Berlin. Photo: Christian Simonpietri/ Sygma/ Corbis

The big warehouses of cold war-era Berlin also became spaces for artists and musicians to convert into studios. Much of the recording of David Bowies Berlin trilogy Low, Heroes and Lodger was completed at Hansa studios in the Kreuzberg district of west Berlin. Just a stones hurl from the Berlin Wall, Hansa was an nearly neighbourless build, pockmarked with shell-holes, most of its windows bricked up. From the control room, Bowie and his producer, Tony Visconti, could see over the Wall to the Red Guards in their gun turrets, who stared back through binoculars. Marooned inside east Germany, west Berlin was, for Bowie, a city cut off from its world, art and culture, dying with no hope of retribution.

When Visconti returned to Hansa last year, he described how the city can be heard in those records. The hazard made the voice, he said. Ive heard records constructed here afterwards, and they didnt have that impending doom. When we came here[ to record ], we knew what we were doing. When you record a group of musicians, youre not only recording the music, youre recording the environment. And Berlin was the perfect place.

The community centres of hip-hop

No other music genre hollers louder about its indebtednes to the streets than hip-hop but the surprising truth, according to Mark Naison, professor of history and African American examines at Fordham University in New York, is that hip-hop was chiefly a product of community centres.

New York was the one city where public housing was not abandoned or knocked down or allowed to deteriorate even during the worst years of arson, disinvestment and deindustrialisation, Naison says. And more of the early hip-hop jams took place in community centres than on street corners.

Every housing project had community centres staffed by social workers. Many sponsored dances and talents indicates where bands and DJs could perform. These centres served as a bridge between generations and communities, allowing young artists rhyming over beats to perform with R& B singers or Latin and funk bands who kept alive older traditions of instrumental and lyrical virtuosity, argues Naison.

DJ Kool Herc, for example, held his first jams in the community centre of Sedgwick Avenue of the west Bronx. Afrika Bambaataa held his first parties in the Bronx River Community Center, jump-starting hip-hop in his section of the Bronx. In a borough where many people lived in five-storey tenements or high-rises where air conditioning was unaffordable, public spaces were a more comfy place to hang out. In the summer months, with doors and windows thrown open to counter the heat, whatever music they played or performed in the community centres was heard and shared by the whole neighbourhood.

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Read more: www.theguardian.com

A Collect Of The Unluckiest Names Going

1 month, 2 days ago
1. Thanks mothers, they will love that at school .

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3. As opposed to a lighthearted one …

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4. Don’t they all ?!

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7. Wow …

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8. Actually not that unlucky, depending on how you feel about Star Wars

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9. Sick of this constant shaming- leave the guy alone .

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11. A compliment …

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12. To me, this says that this guy is enthusiastic during sexuality, which is a good thing, right ?

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13. Poor Rich …

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16. During an election campaign it’s important to stand out …

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17. This has to be fake …

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Lipstick Shaped Like Penis Is Now Actually A Thing You Can Buy

1 month, 4 days ago
Well, kids- it’s officer. The future is upon us. You can now smear a dick-shaped object all over your mouth in public without it being weird !

Warning: NSFW and somewhat rudey-dudey content ahead.

Well kind of, people will still stare. But hey, at least your lips will be cute.

The worst proportion is that these rude lipsticks have actually existed for years, apparently, but they’re only just coming to sun now. How horrible to know we’ve been missing these beauties this whole time.

They have a pretty good similarity to a trouser snake, except for the colour. Some of them are definitely not the kind of colour you would ever want your bits to turn.

The best part? They’re super cheap. Only 1.06, in fact. So you could have 14 pretty funny dick shaped lipsticks for the price of one Mac lipstick. Why ever would you not?

Uhhhhhhhh I love this

A photo posted by The Skinny Jewish (@ prozac_morris) on May 18, 2016 at 6:18 pm PDT

You can buy them here if you imagination it.

Though, uh, perhaps hold back employing it in public unless you’re feeling particularly brave. Or drunk. Or both.

Go forth and smear penis on your face, people.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments

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PsyaEUR( tm) s New Hilarious Daddy Music Video

1 month, 24 days ago

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Amy Winehouse- 10 of the best

1 month, 25 days ago

Winehouses heart belonged to jazz and 60 s girl groups, but she was also inspired by hip-hop and Latin music. Here are some of her finest songs

1. Round Midnight

Although Amy Winehouse attended the Brit School and was initially on Simon Fullers management volumes alongside S Club 7 and Gareth Gates, her heart belonged to jazz and 1960 s daughter groups. In itself, her idolisation of Dinah Washington and the Ronettes recognise her from almost all newly minted pop vocalists of the early 2000 s; her exceptionally-susceptible-to-heartbreak voice did the rest. Yet she didnt exist in a retro bubble. She encompassed the jazz standard Round Midnight as the B-side to her second single, Take the Box, and rendered a freewheeling track that reflected her less publicised love of hip-hop and Latin. Even more than the version used for the B-side, an alternate take presents her as young and in love with music: she scats, vamps and plays with the beat, just because she can. The influence of Erykah Badu and Lauryn Hill is obvious, and theres a touch of cabaret, but at around the 1:10 mark she casually bends a series of notes, and the rest of the way flows from there. As one of the most encompassed jazz songs, Round Midnight presented a challenge, but she was completely at ease with its yearning and sensuality.

2. What It Is

The B-side of Winehouses debut single, Stronger Than Me, this track complements the -Asides contemptuous romantic side-eye. Stronger Than Me sneers: You treat me like a lady and you my ladyboy. What It Is stingingly concurs: Your stance became a bore Mr Ultrasensitive, Ill never let myself forget you. Its the kind of blanket condemnation that really demands an answer record from the maligned Mr Ultrasensitive. Taken together, the sungs signal her dislike for beta males( who are further criticised for not being able to separate sex[ from] feeling on In My Bed ). The -Aside was bracing enough to win the 2004 Ivor Novello award for best contemporary sung, but its the flipside that really warrants attention. Accompanied merely by acoustic guitar, Winehouse is totally unadorned, and at the peak of her vocal powers. Her fluidity makes it sound simple, yet shes fully engaged with the lyric the letdown in her voice cant be feigned. This recording induces it easy to understand why her future record company spent several months tracking her down after hearing her sing backing vocals on another artists demo.

3. Fuck Me Pumps

Winehouse came of age just as the Wag phenomenon got off the ground, and Fuck Me Pumps is her riposte to women whose lifes run was get with footballers and other rich targets. If there was one thing she disliked, it was a skank and her Gucci-bag crew, so her easy-swinging delivery on this song is deceptive, because it conceals real venoms: Dont be too upset if they call you a skank/ Cos like the news, every day you get pressed, she croons, adding for good measure: Dont be mad at me cos youre pushing 30/ And your old tricks no longer work. The spite was so authentic that you have to wonder whether Winehouse had had a run-in with some brassy gold-digger or perhaps she was just a north London hood girl who called it like she saw it.( She held her childhood idols Salt-N-Pepa in high esteem because they were real women who talked about daughters they didnt like ). Either way, Fuck Me Pumps was one of the highlights of Winehouses first album, Frank. It was almost unheard of for a mainstream female vocalist to use the F-word as a ballad title on the anthem itself, she sings F-me pumps rather than banning herself from radio play by saying fucking and the track aroused a good deal of attention. The position it bespoke forthright and uncompromising turned out to be the real bargain.

4. Were Still Friends

Winehouse frequently covered other artists, which could yield spirited-but-WTF moments like her bash at Toots and the Maytals Monkey Man. But when she remained within her soul/ R& B comfort zone, she could be a fantastic and fearless interpreter. Her languid retread of the Shirelles Will You Love Me Tomorrow demonstrates her ability to set her own stamp on things, but straightforward encompass, such as this version of Donny Hathaways Were Still Friends, are equally impressive. Recorded at Londons Union Chapel in late 2006, its so faithful to the original that it transcripts the opening piano riff( she used it again , note for note, on Back to Blacks title track ). Yet the tenor is very different. The lyric is a dialogue between a former couple who run into each other on the street, and agree that the friendship theyve managed to salvage is better than nothing; where Hathaway scarcely keeps back the tears, Winehouse approaches it with a bruised dignity. Until the 1.30 mark then the dam crackings and its obvious how much the dignity is costing her.

5. Back to Black

Back to Black, Winehouses 12 m-selling second studio album, signalled a complete change. He new co-producer, Mark Ronson( with Salaam Remi ), orchestrated a shift towards R& B that edged her into a more commercial lane, but the fresh direction was underwritten by a series of what can only be described as terrible life options. A drug-drenched relationship with Blake Fielder-Civil publicly recast her as a brawling bad daughter; she romanticised the hopelessness by refusing to go to rehab.( For all its status as her biggest hit, Rehab is nowhere near her best ballad .) Back to Blacks title track was inspired by a divide with Fielder-Civil, who temporarily returned to a previous girlfriend: this spare acoustic version is crushing.

6. Me and Mr Jones

What kind of fuckery is this ?/ You attained me miss the Slick Rick gig! she tuts on this Back to Black track almost certainly the only hour the British-American rapper has been mentioned in a anthem influenced by doo wop and Phil Spector. Winehouses sense of humour didnt often surface, but the turbulence of their own lives hadnt quite quashed it: Me and Mr Jones contains some of her best one-liners, and theres a witty duality in itself in this wedding of rap-loving Londoner and 1950 s American soul. Its about how a fella I used to see didnt get me in to assure Slick Rick, which upset me, but when he got me in to insure Nas, I thought, You know, I dont even like you that much, she explained. When she performed the ballad at Londons Bloomsbury Ballroom in September 2006, before Back to Blacks release, there was already talk about her personal life, but she rose to the occasion, dedicating Me and Mr Jones the full woozy-coquette therapy. If her wattage had been tangibly dimmed by her lifestyle, there was no hint at that point that it was more than a happen problem; if anything, according to some of the showbiz journalists at that gig, her only real task would be getting her career back on track in the face of competition from young hopeful Lily Allen, who had built inroads on what was considered Winehouses audience.

7. You Know Im No Good

The Arctic Monkeys encompassed this on Radio 1s Live Lounge in 2007, utterly nailing its self-loathing, but Winehouses original has the edge in terms of pure, killing desolation. While recording Back to Black, her relationship with Fielder-Civil lurched from crisis to drug-fuelled crisis and she was feeling it: She never wanted narcotics, she just wanted love. She was into somebody, she would go all or nothing, remembered producer Salaam Remi, who worked on her unfinished third album. This is the album version of You Know Im No Good, which doesnt include the Ghostface Killah verses that were tacked on when it was released as a single. Anyone who hasnt heard the way without Killahs trumpetings( Once you go Ghost, you never go back, he advises, instead missing the tenor of things) needs to listen to the original; its one of the great express of romantic despair.

8. Rehab( Jay Z remix )

Winehouses love of hip-hop dated back to when she was 10, and, inspired by Salt-N-Pepa, formed a duo called SweetnSour( unsurprisingly, she was Sour ). With a sympathetic rapper aboard( consider also: Like Smoke, featuring Nas ), Winehouses material acquired a jolt of modernism. Rehabs familiar jauntiness is counterweighted by Jay Zs funny but foreboding poems: Amy should have rehabbed him, stead she doubled his ration/ Can you blame me for being a slave to my passion?/ My heroine flows more lethal than Marilyns nose/ Im an OD til Im in peace like Anna Nicole/ Hov! Getting into the spirit, he sings part of the chorus with her a duo nobody ever thought theyd hear.

9. Wake Up Alone

Winehouse and Fielder-Civil got married in May 2007, and divorced two years later, with Winehouse declaring their whole marriage was based on doing medications. This Back to Black track feels like a foreboding that the union would be short-lived, depicting an virtually ghostly embarrassment and despair: He gets fierce in my dreamings, seize my guts/ He floors me with dread/ Soaked in spirit/ He swims in my eyes by the bed. Musically, its a country/ doo-wop homage that incorporates the rawboned honesty of the former and the sass of the latter an improbable stylistic cocktail that Winehouse pulls off by going hard on the country pathos and leaving the doo wop to the backing vocalists. Astonishingly, when she played the sung at live in September 2006, she delivered it as a testament of her devotion to Fielder-Civil, who was in the audience. Spotting him, she mouthed I love you; given the deep depression expressed in the ballad( I stay up, clean the house, at the least Im not drinking/ Run around just so I dont have to think about supposing ), her co-dependency is nasty to behold.

10. Body and Soul( with Tony Bennett)

Reportedly her last record, this Grammy-winning March 2011 duet brought Winehouse together with one of her idols. The 11 -minute video of the studio conference uncovers her nerves as she arrives at Abbey Road Studios: Ive got my lyrics, I know the sung, she stammers, to the bemusement of the unflappable Bennett. Ive never done anything like this, to sing with one of my idols. Her jittery chat shes palpably shocked at being told there would be no rehearsal before recording started was excised from the official video, obviously, leaving merely the anthem, which has the two vocalists detecting remarkable empathy. The longform version is more interesting: four months before she died, Winehouse was vulnerable and trying to hold it together, but her voice doesnt let her down.

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