13 Quotes That Are Just Too Deep For You To Manage
2 days ago
Philosophical quotes. There are too many of them and most of them aren’t even deep. Want to see what I mean? Go on Tumblr and click on the first thing you assure. It will probably be a picture of a silhouette, or some blooms or something with writing over it saying something like “ Showers wash away the bad supposes. Someone out there loves you . ” Terrible .
But we’re into funny doctrine. It’s much better. It would be far too easy only to quote a loading of Jaden Smithtweets … so we’ve only done that a couple of times.
This Theory Suggests Kim Kardashian Is A Secret agent
19 days ago
Kim Kardashian has been fooling us this whole period. Here I was, thinking that she was one of those celebs that never truly had a talent and got by thanks to her showboating public image. How wrong I was- it turns out she’s a secret agent .
This crackpot theory hasn’t been dreamed up by some stoner on Reddit, but is the brainchild of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corp. Vanity Fair reports thatthe groups Organized Cyberspace Crimes Unit believesKardashian isworking for Instagram as part of a complicated ploy to target young people and women.
How does she carry out her evil? By targeting them with aspirational photos showing alifestyle that conflicts with Islam. Whilst the two may seem completely unconnected, Kardashian’s grandparents immigrated to the US from Armenia, which borders Iran.
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@ kimkardashian) on Apr 23, 2016 at 6:05 pm PDT
Mostafa Alizadeh, a spokesman for theIranian Revolutionary Guards Corp, said on a local news program 😛 TAGEND
“Ms. Kim Kardashian is a popular fashion model so Instagrams C.E.O. tells her, Construct this native.There is no doubt that financial support is involved as well. We are taking this very seriously.”
The organisation believes that Kardashian social media accounts arepromoting a culture of promiscuity, weakening and rejecting the institution of family, ridiculing religious values and beliefs, promoting relationships outside moral regulations, and was published private pictures of young women.
Lipstick Shaped Like Penis Is Now Actually A Thing You Can Buy
1 month, 4 days ago
Well, kids- it’s officer. The future is upon us. You can now smear a dick-shaped object all over your mouth in public without it being weird !
Warning: NSFW and somewhat rudey-dudey content ahead.
Well kind of, people will still stare. But hey, at least your lips will be cute.
The worst proportion is that these rude lipsticks have actually existed for years, apparently, but they’re only just coming to sun now. How horrible to know we’ve been missing these beauties this whole time.
They have a pretty good similarity to a trouser snake, except for the colour. Some of them are definitely not the kind of colour you would ever want your bits to turn.
The best part? They’re super cheap. Only 1.06, in fact. So you could have 14 pretty funny dick shaped lipsticks for the price of one Mac lipstick. Why ever would you not?
Overheard In Waitrose Will Make You Feel Great About Yourself
1 month, 29 days ago
Waitrose, what a place. It’s like a supermarket, but it’s not just any supermarket, it’s Waitrose .
As you can probably tell from that wordy, detailed introduction I haven’t spent a whole lot of time in Waitrose, but like others I have my preconceptions, and this Twitter account reaches it on the head. I doubt these things ever happened( the top one aside) but it’s still funny.
31 People Who Supposed They Were Getting Scenes With Celebrities But WerenaEUR( tm) t
1 month, 30 days ago
You see a famous person. What do you do? Leave it? Hurl abuse? Get a scene? We don’t know to be honest. We’re all a-listers here at helloU so we’re pretty chilled about it .
But whatever you do, these guys find it is essential that they document their meeting with a photograph which, as you know, typically last longer than simply looking( there should be a phrase about that .)
But there’s a problem with their pictures of famous person … there’s no famous people in them.
1. Just the President of America paying a low-key visit to Paraguay
2. The only similarity that guy has with Bill Murray is that Bill Murray probably once wore green
3. Just a human with a beard
4. Bruno’s being particularly intimate
5. That’s probably that guy’s biggest pulling technique
6. To be fair, she seems delighted
7. Again, simply a bearded man ! 8. OK fair enough he is prettyidenticalto Hugh Laurie .
9. Ian Mckellen chillin’ in a Russian bar
10. Apparently? We can see it. You did .
11. Looks good for 72
12. That guy’s espousing it
13. Lorde looks like she’s had one too many
14. The other guy looks more like James Blunt than he does Marylin
15. He’s gone back to his 1994 hair eventually !
16. Making sure he doesn’t speak and give it away
17. Not even remotely similar ! 18. You met a bald man with glasses. There’s loads of them . 19. Another bearded human .
20. Blonde girl in what looks like a Wetherspoons saloon
21. He’s got the hair down but that’s it
22. From ten years ago ?
23. We’d know if that was Shia, he’d have stabbed him by now
24. It’s like someone seriously described Steven Tyler over the phone to them
25. Never mind not Taylor Swift. What’s up with that affiliation ?!
26. Second comment has it right
27. With all his cash behind him
28. No clue-ney
29. He’s just happy for the attention
30. To be fair, he does have two chains
31. Did they have to share the adult liquor ?
It’s hard to say you wouldn’t take advantage of it if you appeared just like a famous person.
Guy’s Love For Dominoes Saved His Life After He Didn’t Order For 11 Days
2 months, 5 days ago
If you’ve ever worked at somewhere that serves food, you’ll understand the caring attitude that staff develop toward regular customers .
And no , not regular customers who turn up once a month. We mean, that guy who turns up at 11:34 AM exactly every day for his beaker of black coffee, for which he always has the exact change to pay for.
And you hear about how his wife has just put up new curtains, and which uni his child got into.( Hi Jon from the cafe I used to work at. Send Susie my love !)
Well, being a regular customer actually saved this guy’s life.
Kirk Alexander, from Oregon, was saved by Domino’s Pizza staff after they realized he hadn’t ordered food in 11 days.
Staff at a Salem Domino’s Pizza became concerned for the man, 47, where reference is failed to place an order in nearly 2 week. So much so that they are able to sent one of their delivery drivers to his home to check on him.
When Tracey Hamblen, an employee, knocked on his doorway just after midnight on Sunday, he didn’t respond. Which, to some, might not have seemed too strange because, you know, people sleep after midnight.
Tracey knew something was up, however, and called 911- and Kirk was found by the emergency services on the floor of his home after suffering an alleged stroke.
Dominoes general manager Sarah Fuller told KOIN that Kirk has been ordering from the branch since 2009, so they knew it was odd that they hadn’t heard from him in so long.
“He orders every day, every other day, ” she said. “His order pops up on the screen because he orders online. So we see it come across the screen and we’re like,’ Oh, Kirk’s order’.
“He orders all the time, so we know him. I think we were just doing our undertaking checking in on someone we know who orders a lot. We felt like we needed to do something.”
Not to point out the flaws in this heroic tale, but the daily Dominoes pizza can’t have helped his health problems. That doesn’t, however, faulting the caring nature of the staff at his local Dominoes.
Amazing. What do you think? Let us know in the comments
In a post about viewing routines released Wednesday, Netflix said that watchers usually take around three days off before jumping into another series. And during that breaking more than 60 percent of those viewers opt to watch a movie.
Anyone else find it funny how people complaints about sitting through a 3-hour movie, but are fine binge watching an 8-hour Netflix series?
Gene Wilder, who played ‘Willy Wonka’ and ‘Young Frankenstein, ‘ dead at 83
2 months, 27 days ago
Gene Wilder in “Young Frankenstein.”
Image: John Springer Collection/ CORBIS/ Corbis via Getty Images
LOS ANGELES Gene Wilder, the visceral, wild-haired comedic performer and writer who played Willy Wonka and starred in dozens of cinemas including the Mel Brooks classics Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein , has died, his nephew confirmed in a statement Monday. He was 83.
Wilder died of complications from Alzheimer’s at his home in Stamford, Conn ., according to the statement from Jordan Walker-Pearlman. Wilder had chosen to keep his illness private, Walker-Pearlman said, because he “simply couldn’t bear the idea of one less smile in the world.”
Though he started out as a stage performer, Wilder’s violate came in 1968 with the role of Leo Bloom in The Producers , for which he was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar.
A few years later, he reluctantly took the title role in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory , one of those turns that the passageway of hour with a little help from the omnipresent “Condescending Wonka meme have rendered all the more beloved.
Wilder was a frequent collaborator with the greatest comedy minds of his time, including the late Richard Pryor. Beginning with Silver Streak , the two appeared in four movies together including Stir Crazy , See No Evil, Hear No Evil and their 1991 reunion Another You .
But it was his relationship with Brooks which began via an introduction via Brooks’ girlfriend, which eventually led to the Producers role that produced what are widely considered the greatest slapstick cinemas of all time.( In fact, in a Vanity Fair interview published only hours before news of Wilder’s death Monday, Brooks calls Blazing Saddles the “funniest movie ever made.”)
Gene Wilder-One of the truly great talents of our time. He blessed every movie we did with his magical& he blest me with his friendship.
On screen, Wilder balanced a madcap, wild-eyed physicality with the sense that he was the smartest guy in the room components that often triggered off one of his many signature freak-outs. It was that chemical reaction that always built him unpredictable, a live-wire who was as ferocious as he was playful and irreverent.
Wilder took a writing credit on nine of his cinemas, including Young Frankenstein , but insisted in a 2013 interview one of his last that he was never much of a comedian.
“I’m really not[ funny ], except in a slapstick … in cinemas. I induce my wife laugh once or twice in the house, but nothing special. But I don’t think I’m that funny. I believe I can be in the movies, ” he said.
Wilder’s acting career slowed down significantly in the late 1980 s, which he largely attributed to future directions in movies that he didn’t much care for.
“The swearing and the loud bombing … every once in awhile there’s a good movie, but not very many, ” Wilder sad during the course of its 92 nd Street Y interview. “If something comes along that’s really good, and I’m good for it, I’d do it. But not too many came along. A bunch came along for 15, 18 years, but then not too many.”
Wilder’s nephew said that Alzheimer’s began to take hold three years ago, but that he retained much of his faculties until the end 😛 TAGEND
Wilder was marriage four times, including to Saturday Night Live alum Gilda Radner, who died of ovarian cancer in 1989. He is survived by Karen Webb, a clinical supervisor who coached him on lip-reading for his role in See No Evil, Hear No Evil, and whom he married in 1991.