13 Quotes That Are Just Too Deep For You To Manage

2 days ago

Philosophical quotes. There are too many of them and most of them aren’t even deep. Want to see what I mean? Go on Tumblr and click on the first thing you assure. It will probably be a picture of a silhouette, or some blooms or something with writing over it saying something like “ Showers wash away the bad supposes. Someone out there loves you . ” Terrible .

But we’re into funny doctrine. It’s much better. It would be far too easy only to quote a loading of Jaden Smithtweets … so we’ve only done that a couple of times.

1. We’ll start with one to be safe …

2. Rudyard Kipling was a fantastic devotee .

3. The only real friend this cruel world has to offer .

4. You’re the person you hate the most .

5. Last one. We promise .

6. Was this written with the weak hand so whoever did it didn’t get caught ? 7. That poor dog .

8. When a packet makes you think about life .

9. To be fair …

10. That red-nosed, sarcy puppet is asking for a slap .

11. We feel you, brother .

12. They’re right .

13. And we’ll leave you with this one …

Feel like Socrates? If you do, run get yourself checked out. 13 stupid internet quotes should not have that effect.

Tell us what you think in the comments ! — >

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21 Fun Scene And Tweets To Greet In The Weekend

8 days ago
1. This is going to end well … 2. Karma ….

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3. Gutted

4.

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5. All good here …

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6. How Leo’s Oscars are going to go down

7. A special guest ..

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8. Ouch …

9.

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10. How green is your salad ?

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11. Will they thank Steven Avery in their speech ? 12. Bread on your face .

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13.

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15.

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16. Things are about to kick off . 17. I have a weird various kinds of respect for the man’s aspiration .

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20. Good to keep your alternatives open .

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Leave my iPhone alone: why our smartphones are extensions of ourselves

12 days ago

Our phones offer connection, communication and knowledge and have become part of our identities. No wonder privacy violations bother us so much

Apples recent refusal to abide by a court order to unlock the San Bernardino shooters iPhone has brought to the publics attention an debate over cybersecurity and encryption that has been raging throughout the tech world for years.

On the surface, that argument has a particular and recognizable ethical character. But further down, it is about something else something deeper that has to do with identity itself.

Utilitarian intellectuals like John Stuart Mill have always held that the best style to decide any ethical question is to look and assure which action has the best consequences.

Turning to the iPhone case, the way this argument has played out in the media suggests that it is all about which future is more dire: the one where terrorists can hide their communications in common devices, or the one where the governmental eye of Sauron considers all.

Yet this characterization oversimplifies what is really at stake. Both pictures of the future are misleading, if merely because terrorists have, like the rest of us, numerous ways to get in contact with one another. Breaking into this particular iPhone wont change that. Moreover, your data is already unsafe. As more than one wag put it on Twitter, thats what makes it so ironic that privacy advocates like to complain on social media.

But the deeper problem with the its all about the consequences side of the debate is that it ignores the increasingly intimate relation we bear to the devices around us.

Smartphones were only the first step towards the world we live in now the internet of things. More and more devices from refrigerators to cars to socks interact with the internet on a nearly constant basis, leaving a trail of digital deplete. That means greater convenience, but increasingly it also means that our devices are becoming ready at hand as Heidegger would have said. Weve begun to see them as extensions of ourselves. The Internet of Things has become the Internet of Us.

It is tempting to see that as metaphorical. But there is actually a metaphysical phase here, one which we can get at by way of two very different, if consistent, philosophical routes.

The first style in stems from what is known as the extended intellect hypothesis. According to the philosophers Andy Clark and David Chalmers in a 1998 newspaper, our mental state, like our faiths or our memories, arent always simply in in our heads. They are spread out. In other terms, it is not just that I use my contact listing in my smartphone as a crutch to assistance me recollect, my actual remembering is partly constituted by the phone itself. It is a combo of brain cells and computer chips.

I am not sure whether Clark and Chalmers are right about the entire intellect, although they might be. But I am more convinced that one sort of mental state, the country of my knowing something, is often extended to our digital devices. My knowing, at the least in the passive, receptive sense of knowing, is definitely outsourced to my phone. And that is why I often feel 100% less knowledgeable when I dont have ready access to it.

If something like this is right, it helps to explain why we worry about losing more control over access to our smart devices. What and how I know it is part of my intellect; but if what and how I know is partly composed of what happens on my phone, if it is spread out in that way, then unlocking our devices is not simply like unlocking our home. It is more like opening up our intellects to Vulcan mind melds. And then the ethical topic here cant only be decided by tallying up the consequences; what harms our identity is a matter of principle.

Of course you might think that the extended knowledge hypothesis is too farfetched. But the other style to get to the same point is this: whether or not we actually are our telephones, we increasingly identify with them. We increasingly see them and the digital life we lead on them as partly constituting who we psychologically are.

The reason that matters is that psychology matters for autonomy. One type of freedom we care about is autonomy of action. But another type is freedom of decision. And you can violate my autonomy of decision in more than one route. One style is to overrule it. Hold a handgun to my head and I will find myself making decisions that arent actually in accordance with my most considered opinion about what is best for me.

On the other hand, you can also undermine it. Devote me a drug without my permission and my decision-making is constructed moot. It doesnt truly matter whether I wanted to take the drug or not. Ive taken it anyway and my decision is irrelevant.

Violations of information privacy undermine our autonomy of decision in the same way. They make a decision for us whether to share our datum. In some suits, perhaps like the case of the San Bernardino shooters phone, that may be justified. But there is a reason to be wary of generalizing, precisely because back-door telephone hacks would open us up to having our independence undermined in merely this way.

Arguably, what harms autonomy damages identity. And what harms identity, what harms us as individuals, as intellects, is not just a bad outcome it is bad in principle.

Michael Patrick Lynch is prof of philosophy and director of the Humanities Institute at the University of Connecticut. His new book is The Internet of Us: Knowing More and Understanding Less in the Age of Big Data. Follow him on Twitter: @plural_truth

Read more: www.theguardian.com

Are slow iPhone sales simply a blip or is Apple starting to struggle?

16 days ago

The volatile marketplace in China, the urgency for a new product, and slumping telephone marketings are blending to create serious problems for the tech company

Self-made billionaire investor Carl Icahn is known for his very vocal endorsements and criticisms of the worlds biggest public companies, including Apple. Yet when he is available on CNBC on Thursday, he wasnt there to demand the company give stockholders dividends, as hed been doing for years.

Instead, he said he was out. Icahn said hed dumped every share he held in Apple, claiming he made a$ 2bn profit and was done with the company, quoting very concerned about how the Chinese government could block the company from that market. You worry a little bit, and maybe more than a little, about Chinas attitude, Icahn said, warning of a tsunami of trouble.

Watching the broadcast was Dan Nathan, who runs the influential marketplace analysis site Risk Reversal. The jig is up for Apple, Nathan said. The big moneys is common knowledge that for a while. But people love their iPhones so much, and the tech press are all fanboys, so people havent “was talkin about a” it.

Wednesday marked the end of an epoch in Cupertino as Apple reported its first ever fell in iPhone marketings, sending the companys stock down to about 30% off its all-time high in May 2015.

iPhone sales in China a crucial market for Apple to continue growing have plunged 26% as its economy stalls, with some reports indicating the Apple brand is losing prestige there. In the US, clients are upgrading their telephones more slowly as the differences between generations, like the iPhone 6 to 6s, become more incremental.

Those bullish on the company say that the slowdown is inevitable as the smartphone market ripens, and that Apple will find another game-changing product. In the meantime, the business is good: Apple pulled in $50.6 bn in revenue and $10.5 bn in profits this one-quarter. And its CEO has won a high-profile public battle against the FBI over telephone hacking, showing Silicon Valleys unprecedented power.

It was 30 years between the Macintosh and the iPhone, said Jean-Louis Gasse, once an engineering head at Apple who shepherded the early Macintosh and now watches the company closely. It takes time for these major waves.

But in Silicon Valley, where the motto seems to be innovate or succumb, growth is everything. And critics argue that Apple, famous for its internal culture of aggressivenes and privacy, has lost its innovative edge.

Analysts say the company has not had a distinct make product in recent years. The company tightly guards its Apple Watch sales figures, but researchers consider numbers slipping in favor of wearables that use Android software made by Apples arch-rival Google.

Reviews of the new Retina MacBook were tepid. Tech news site the Verge liked the beautiful machine but received it slower, impractical and costly, so the reviewer went back to his older Mac, while industry site The Loop described the companys Apple Music service as a consumer nightmare because of technical and design problems. Despite criticism, Apple Music, has grown to 13 million subscribers, a bright spot in Apples recent financial results.

The most important issue facing Apple, analysts say, is how it can expand internationally. In China, the companys most important new marketplace, the number of people who can stretch for an aspirational product such as an iPhone has topped out, Nathan said. The average iPhone, without wireless service contracts, cost $687 in the last one-quarter of 2014, according to ABI Research and the Wall Street Journal three times more expensive than an Android device, which typically selling off about $254 globally. But World Bank data from 2015 shows that in China the average income is $7,400 means that an iPhone would cost the average Chinese person more than 10% of their annual salary.

Its an expensive phone, Nathan said. And the high objective has become saturated. Nathan said the best bet would be to expand into the lower objective, which the company is doing somewhat with their new 4in iPhone SE. But a past endeavour at a bargain product, the colorful, plastic iPhone 5C, was widely seen as a flop. That was three years ago, though, Nathan said.

Tim Cook, who took over as CEO after the companys iconic founder Steve Jobs died in 2011, is a specialist in supplying chains rather than product design. Where Jobs was obsessed with the product specs, Cook is more focused on spending projections, according to a rare authorized profile in Bloomberg News that sought to prove the new CEO wasnt simply Jobss logical, icy sidekick.

On Wednesday, Cook said that broader market issues were causing the slow in growth, and recognizing that critics were worried about China, seemed to reference the idea that Apple was no longer Silicon Valleys starring.[ We] may not have the wind at our backs that we once did, Cook said of the companys efforts in China. But its a lot more stable than what I guess the common view of it is.

Ben Bajarin, an analyst at Creative Strategy technology market research firm, said there is little Apple could have done better given the broader smartphone market. The company is a victim of its own success, he argued. Theres contentment with customers at large who look at their phones and say, You know, this things pretty great, I dont know if I require a new one, Bajarin said. Youve got to give someone a reason to buy a new device.

Bajarin believes the market overreacted to the iPhone sales numbers, since the company sold as many telephones as it had said it would this quarter. It wasnt a astound. They came in simply above the bottom objective of their own guidance, Bajarin said. All of this now is just about managing Wall Street.

The company, with its $233 bn in money, has been been using that money to buy back its own stock and pay stockholder dividends to encourage investors. Apple has the ability to be patient because of that money, but everyone will say they also have the ability to be complacent, Bajarin said. But I dont think thats their plan.

Nobody believes theyll be like, yeah, thats it, we rode the smartphones and were done, he added. Theyre out looking for the next thing right now.

Others argue, though, that Apples culture has become uniquely problematic and is getting in the way of innovation. Tim Kuppler, who advises firms on better workplace environments through the firm Human Synergistics, is working on a study of 30 tech company cultures.

If youre at Apple, theres so much privacy, you cant bring your 100% because there are certain things you cant even talk about, Kuppler said. Its so difficult in that surrounding for people to live up to their potential. Youve get chains on; youre riding the brake. Thats very different now at places like Google that are more achievement oriented.

For Apple, issues with culture may be affecting recruitment and retention. The company lately lost the head of their electric car operation as well as a longtime decorator who worked closely with design squad chief Jony Ive.

There was an era in Silicon Valley when critics rarely voiced sentiments on the unassailable Cupertino powerhouse, where strong hierarchies and control are woven into the corporate culture. Now sentiment in Silicon Valley seems to be turning against the company. Even on the quiet streets of Palo Alto, Cook runs into trouble.

He was all by himself, and I dedicated him a 30 -second harangue about the App Store, said Gasse, who ran into Cook at a shopping mall earlier this year. Growth concealed a lot of shortcomings for Apple. When you grow fast you can be a little disheveled, dirty. Now Apple has to revisit what its lacking.

Gasse, who left the company in 1990 and has since become an investor, said Apples culture of tight hierarchies and aggressive administrators wasnt working for them in the new modern climate: The command and control that reigns at Apple is not necessarily working in its favor any more.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

Lost for words? A new app writes witty texts so you don’t have to

18 days ago

Now you can crowdsource the funniest possible responses to messages youve received. Its basically Cyrano de Bergerapp

If you suffer from a lacklustre text life, help is at hand. Nattr, a new app that has been getting a lot of chatter, lets you crowdsource clever responses to text messages usually texts from people you want to have sexts with. Back in the olden days, people used to send screenshots of conversations to their friends and, in a panic, ask: What should I say? Thanks to technological innovation, todays young can ask random people on the internet for semantic supporting via what is basically Cyrano de Bergerapp.

When I say todays young, I entail YOUNG. Im 32 ie doubled persons under the age of most Nattr users. Asking teens for advice on my lexical love life constructed me feel like a creepy weirdo. I also worried that all my replies would read: Go home, mum, so I experimented with changing my age to 25.

As well as other Nattr users, you can ask your phonebook for responses; your contacts are informed of your dilemma via an anonymous text. So, my dentist may have received a message that said: Natalie says shes not sure if we have textual chemistry, how should I react? If he did, he didnt write back.

The apps special sauce, however, is its ability to deliver reactions crafted by Nattrs team of handpicked writers and comedians, identifiable by a superstar on their avatar. If you arent a handpicked member, you can earn a superstar by amassing likes.

One Nattrati member, standup comedian Leah Knauer, will handcraft responds. A recent question she tackled was: How can I ask an American girl out in a way that she will find witty? Her respond: If shes blond: You look like youre made of angel-hair pasta and some sort of powdered gold. I know that sounds weird, but I mean it in a good way.

Nattr is free to use, but you have to buy charms to view responses from starred users such as Leah. For $3.99( about 2.80 ), you get 500 charms; unlocking or requesting a response from a writer/ comedian costs 300 charms. This is a clever business move. A locked answer teases you with potential: perhaps this pun will be the one; perhaps this reply will persuade Natalie that, actually, Im exceedingly funny, but most of my gags go over her head.

So, whats the verdict? Will Nattr up your text game? A few people have told me they found it useful. However, if youre over 30, Nattr may simply leave you feeling oldr and not much wisr.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

This Theory Suggests Kim Kardashian Is A Secret agent

19 days ago
Kim Kardashian has been fooling us this whole period. Here I was, thinking that she was one of those celebs that never truly had a talent and got by thanks to her showboating public image. How wrong I was- it turns out she’s a secret agent .

This crackpot theory hasn’t been dreamed up by some stoner on Reddit, but is the brainchild of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corp. Vanity Fair reports thatthe groups Organized Cyberspace Crimes Unit believesKardashian isworking for Instagram as part of a complicated ploy to target young people and women.

How does she carry out her evil? By targeting them with aspirational photos showing alifestyle that conflicts with Islam. Whilst the two may seem completely unconnected, Kardashian’s grandparents immigrated to the US from Armenia, which borders Iran.

Shot a fun tutorial today with @makeupbymario use only drug store products on my app! Link in bio

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@ kimkardashian) on Apr 26, 2016 at 10:07 pm PDT

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A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@ kimkardashian) on Apr 23, 2016 at 6:05 pm PDT

Mostafa Alizadeh, a spokesman for theIranian Revolutionary Guards Corp, said on a local news program 😛 TAGEND

“Ms. Kim Kardashian is a popular fashion model so Instagrams C.E.O. tells her, Construct this native.There is no doubt that financial support is involved as well. We are taking this very seriously.”

The organisation believes that Kardashian social media accounts arepromoting a culture of promiscuity, weakening and rejecting the institution of family, ridiculing religious values and beliefs, promoting relationships outside moral regulations, and was published private pictures of young women.

Wow. Just Wow …

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A Collect Of The Unluckiest Names Going

1 month, 2 days ago
1. Thanks mothers, they will love that at school .

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2.

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3. As opposed to a lighthearted one …

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4. Don’t they all ?!

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5.

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6.

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7. Wow …

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8. Actually not that unlucky, depending on how you feel about Star Wars

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9. Sick of this constant shaming- leave the guy alone .

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10.

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11. A compliment …

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12. To me, this says that this guy is enthusiastic during sexuality, which is a good thing, right ?

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13. Poor Rich …

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14 .

15.

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16. During an election campaign it’s important to stand out …

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17. This has to be fake …

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Lipstick Shaped Like Penis Is Now Actually A Thing You Can Buy

1 month, 4 days ago
Well, kids- it’s officer. The future is upon us. You can now smear a dick-shaped object all over your mouth in public without it being weird !

Warning: NSFW and somewhat rudey-dudey content ahead.

Well kind of, people will still stare. But hey, at least your lips will be cute.

The worst proportion is that these rude lipsticks have actually existed for years, apparently, but they’re only just coming to sun now. How horrible to know we’ve been missing these beauties this whole time.

They have a pretty good similarity to a trouser snake, except for the colour. Some of them are definitely not the kind of colour you would ever want your bits to turn.

The best part? They’re super cheap. Only 1.06, in fact. So you could have 14 pretty funny dick shaped lipsticks for the price of one Mac lipstick. Why ever would you not?

Uhhhhhhhh I love this

A photo posted by The Skinny Jewish (@ prozac_morris) on May 18, 2016 at 6:18 pm PDT

You can buy them here if you imagination it.

Though, uh, perhaps hold back employing it in public unless you’re feeling particularly brave. Or drunk. Or both.

Go forth and smear penis on your face, people.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments

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Overheard In Waitrose Will Make You Feel Great About Yourself

1 month, 29 days ago
Waitrose, what a place. It’s like a supermarket, but it’s not just any supermarket, it’s Waitrose .

As you can probably tell from that wordy, detailed introduction I haven’t spent a whole lot of time in Waitrose, but like others I have my preconceptions, and this Twitter account reaches it on the head. I doubt these things ever happened( the top one aside) but it’s still funny.

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31 People Who Supposed They Were Getting Scenes With Celebrities But WerenaEUR( tm) t

1 month, 30 days ago

You see a famous person. What do you do? Leave it? Hurl abuse? Get a scene? We don’t know to be honest. We’re all a-listers here at helloU so we’re pretty chilled about it .

But whatever you do, these guys find it is essential that they document their meeting with a photograph which, as you know, typically last longer than simply looking( there should be a phrase about that .)

But there’s a problem with their pictures of famous person … there’s no famous people in them.

1. Just the President of America paying a low-key visit to Paraguay

2. The only similarity that guy has with Bill Murray is that Bill Murray probably once wore green

3. Just a human with a beard

4. Bruno’s being particularly intimate

5. That’s probably that guy’s biggest pulling technique

6. To be fair, she seems delighted

7. Again, simply a bearded man ! 8. OK fair enough he is prettyidenticalto Hugh Laurie .

9. Ian Mckellen chillin’ in a Russian bar

10. Apparently? We can see it. You did .

11. Looks good for 72

12. That guy’s espousing it

13. Lorde looks like she’s had one too many

14. The other guy looks more like James Blunt than he does Marylin

15. He’s gone back to his 1994 hair eventually !

16. Making sure he doesn’t speak and give it away

17. Not even remotely similar ! 18. You met a bald man with glasses. There’s loads of them . 19. Another bearded human .

20. Blonde girl in what looks like a Wetherspoons saloon

21. He’s got the hair down but that’s it

22. From ten years ago ?

23. We’d know if that was Shia, he’d have stabbed him by now

24. It’s like someone seriously described Steven Tyler over the phone to them

25. Never mind not Taylor Swift. What’s up with that affiliation ?!

26. Second comment has it right

27. With all his cash behind him

28. No clue-ney

29. He’s just happy for the attention

30. To be fair, he does have two chains

31. Did they have to share the adult liquor ?

Amazing.

It’s hard to say you wouldn’t take advantage of it if you appeared just like a famous person.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments !

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