I waited for you, for longer than I care to admit. My impressions for you were wildfire and my desert was without rain. I fell for you almost instantly, you were charming and charismatic. An electric type of man, the one that constructed other humen insecure and women practically fell at your feet. You loved to be adored and admired, to be the center of your lovers attention. Thats what you always wanted, and I like to give people I like everything I can so they have all they need. A foundation of life, of love and abundance.
You told me in little routes that I was special. Because you would let me in, something thats hard for you . . I acknowledge it wasnt always easy for me either, but I tried and I gave you honesty when you took me for granted. Repeatedly, over and over. Without so many apologies, never once did you even buy me blooms. But I was your baby at least you told me so at night. And while I grew angry at your lack of commitment or care, you procured other girls to love.
But I still cared. After everything, I still wanted you.
That was the fucked up component. I could get over abuse. I could move past sex shame and cravings to numb my pain.
But when I thought about you, my heart still felt the same.
I persuaded myself we were soulmates, born 6 months apart to the day. I thought your darkness balanced out my lighting. I thought that you were like pools of rain. Like the ocean in your eyes, brought just for me- the colour of sky. I wanted to dive into the depths of shallow waters and bathe in your hopes and anxieties. But I am the dirt, that grows in orchards and constructs knolls into mountains. Pushing out life and taking away demise. Molding into anything, but more often the home for life to grow in. Together, “weve been” dirt. Mud that attains seeds sprout open and generates the green Earth. We can attain one another grow into anything we want.
We shared the same dreams for our lives. With music, art and authenticity. We played sungs, and danced, and chuckled and played love together. I was there when you stole that gardening hat you like so much. I was there when you met your inner wild human. I was there when you needed a friend to help you up again. I was always there for you. Because thats who I am and thats how I love. Ride or Die. All in or all out.
But I broke my rules for you. I awaited around for your late night calls simply to fake the intimacy. What I wanted was your midnight kiss, your dreams and desires. To share your past and your future. To be there at your proudest moment and on your blackest day.
You make me feel so alive I would be crazy not to want it all with you .
Youre overwhelming and intoxicating. Youre liberty from being trapped in a magical lamp. You make me feel empowered and sexy, interesting and funny. You make me feel small and inconsequential. Not good enough and ashamed to gues I ever stood a chance. To say youre hot and cold, would be easy. You are terrible and divine. A power I have yet to understand but one I found I can control.
Thats right. I can have power over you. This is how .
I can play the nice girl and be your friend to lend a shoulder when youre down. I can be your baby, that shows you how to lay it down. I can be your caretaker, and treat you better than any girl whos been around. I can love you without emotional bounds. I can teach you how to mend your wounds. How to ascend like a tree in the forest. I can show you how to feel compassion for strangers, enemies and virtually anyone. I can do anything. I am not like those girls who came before me. Because I forgave you, because despite everything I will continue to care about you.
And most of all, because I am the girl who will never lay down and die. I can do it with you, I can do it without you. You dont need me is to say that you need me. You already know. So dont lose me while Im deciding if I should finally go.
I usually don’t talk about my beliefs because the comments segment of any well-thought-out article can be pretty brutal and I’m just now mastering the capacities not to reply to folly. On top of that, it annoys me that people don’t realize that only because I believe in God doesn’t mean you have to, but at the same time-don’t disrespect Him in my face. Honestly, for me, it will cause the same reaction you get when you instantaneously defend your mom if someone tried to hurl shade at her. To put things frankly, I’m not having it. So, proceed with caution. This isn’t intended to offend, but instead to defend those of us who know God’s love and power . Here are 9 reasons why I unapologetically believe in the power of God.
1. I devoted birth.
There isn’t a single spirit on Earth that can persuade me that we can endure such a challenge as giving birth on our own. Speaking from( very recent) experience, there is no way I could have given birth to such a beautiful, innocent vessel as my baby daughter without the help of God, himself . From the pain to the pleasure-nobody but God. Don’t try to convince me otherwise because it won’t work. If you haven’t had a newborn on your own, do you not get the same feeling when you define your eyes on such an innocent, perfect creation as a newborn child?
2. I have survived more than one near-death experience.
I am a firm disciple that merely God could have delivered me from what was once a very sweet savour of all my favorite drugs-that’s right. I’m not gonna tell you about how much I love God and then deny how I’ve experienced His power firsthand. He’s delivered me from many things-depression, craving, envy-and the listing goes on . I’ve had my life spared on numerous occasions and with all the commotion going on in the world right now that constructs me feel even more thankful for the times God has saved me. Those weren’t things that I could mentally beat, it was literally the grace of God.
3. It’s easier to trust God than to worry about things I can’t control.
My mama always said if you’re going to pray, don’t worry. If you’re going to worry, don’t pray. As a child, it was simply easy to repeat. As an adult, I wholly understand what she entailed now. It is so exhausting to sit and stress about things we have no control over. It’s silly. The God I serve will carry those onus for you . He won’t construct you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Don’t believe me? Try Him for yourself.
4. God sees me in brand new light every day.
Unlike friends, household, and adherents, God considers us new every day. Every hour he blesses us to open our eyes to a new day He gives us a fresh start to get things right. He is a forgiving God. He doesn’t say,” Oh there’s Isis, the former drug abuser .” On top of that, He insures us all the same. God loves all His children . I don’t know about you, but I feel honored merely typing that. We are so lucky to be loved by such a merciful God. Lord knows, if it weren’t for His grace and mercy, I would have already been burning in hell.
5. God is better to me than I am to myself.
When I compare how I treat myself and how God treats me, all I can say is” thank God that He is in control and not me .” I’ve tried to end my life on many occasions, but none of the endeavors ever worked. Not even taking it as far as suicide, there are days where I’ve just let negative energy defeat me and God doesn’t want that for me. God doesn’t merely love me on my good days. He loves me unconditionally with every breath that I take . Now that I’m smarter and stronger in Him, I thank Him for always loving me more than I love me. I know it seems like hub-bub I genuinely do, but I know that anybody who has ever felt totally alone, down-and-out and still pulled through knows exactly what kind of love I’m talking about. Feeling God’s love is truly an experience.
6. I have never been in a more promising relationship than the one I’m in with God.
He’s my father. My best friend. My lawyer. My physician. My teacher. In other words, there is NOTHING too big for my God. He is everything I require Him to be, anytime I need Him to be it. When I’m lonely, He is my comfort. When I’m hurting, He is my healer. When I’m scared( or stupid ), He is my defender . He has induced promises to His disciples that I have yet to experience because I’m still growing in Christ, but there are also many promises that I am witnessing in my life firsthand.
7. I started paying my tithes and now I induce more money than I ever imagined-no lie.
Y’all. I kid you not. I started devoting God my 10% and when I tell you He blew my intellect Each week thereafter. I. AM. NOT. LYING. This is a personal journey that I foster you to learn more about . All I can say is that within a 3-month period of paying my tithes willingly and selflessly I ran from making a few dollars here and there to five figures! God( and my best friends) as my witness.
8. I have identified, recognise, and accepted its main purpose in life.
I’ll admit that when I started writing I merely identified it as something I loved to do. I didn’t really seem much further than that. Sure, I told myself that I was a good novelist, but I didn’t expect to be getting thousands of shares on my work. I didn’t expect to touch the lives of individuals all over the world that I’ll never have the pleasure of fulfilling . And I certainly cannot fathom what God still has in store for me! Since getting closer to God I have been able to work in my passion, better yet my calling in life and this is only the beginning.
9. Nothing feelings better than glorifying God.
At the end of the day , nothing feelings better than knowing I’ve tried to honor God. Whether through ballad, worship, writing, pray, or praise all the glory and honor goes to Him. I have never experienced a more fruitful and meaningful life than this one I’ve spent unapologetically chasing God . I’m not afraid to say that falling in love with His son was the best decision I have ever made.
Wow, I dont know who pissed off whom, but this April is shaping up to be a real fuck-show.
Four thats right, FOUR planets are
going retrograde this month.
So, get ready to meditate with a grenade in both hands.
Basically, our entire lives will feel like a game of whack-a-mole. Once we overcome one hurdle, well operate immediately into the next one.
Each planets retrograde will rule over a different region of our lives, and the following guide will help you learn exactly how to handle the challenges as they come 😛 TAGEND
Venus retrograde until April 15
has been in retrograde since March 4, so youve probably already been feeling the effects of countries around the world of love, beauty and money in the regions of your life.
You may have been focusing on healing any issues or blocks that youve been feeling in regard to your ability to give or receive love, or to earn money by doing what you love.
Relationships that havent been working may have come to a close, or you may have finally gotten out of a undertaking that you havent been fully invested in.
You could be moving on to something you truly love, or you may have been reflecting on what you want from your next partnership.
Either way, you are strengthening your bond to yourself and to what is truly important to you.
Saturn retrograde on April 6
Saturn retrograde merely occurs once a year.
Thank GAWD above for that because there is nothing tougher than the taskmaster planet when it goes into retrograde.
This is going to be a time when you face your anxieties, responsibilities and goals head-on.
Youll be rethinking your career route and what you have to do to get where you want. And youll do it, even if it frightens you.
This sounds motivating, but when Saturn goes retrograde, it feels anything but.
The thing about Saturn retrograde is, it forces us to do the thing , not thething.
Generally, its only motivational in retrospect.
The next time were faced with a challenge that seems insurmountable, we can look back at the hill we climbed while Saturn was in retrograde on that rainy spring in April and see how far weve come.
Mercury retrograde on April 9
We all know the shit circus that is
Mercury retrograde .~ ATAGEND
Its become a widely respected and feared planetary movement.
But Mercury retrograde is more of an inconvenience than anything else, and compared to the other retrogrades we have going on, this one wont seem so bad.
If youre not familiar with Mercury retrograde, this is the planet of communication.
There will be breakdowns in communication, misunderstandings, technological difficulties and travel delays.
Pretty much every part of our everyday life is affected, unless, of course, you live in the timbers with no WiFi.
The positive side of Mercury retrograde is, it gives us the opportunity to get in touch with old contacts, to edit, rethink and clarify our thoughts and to stimulate home improvements.
Pluto retrograde on April 20
Lets start with the bright side.
Pluto retrograde is a great time to remove toxic energy from your world, to discard old objects youd like to let go of and to cleanse your entire life of negative people, habits and notions that no longer serve you.
Having Saturn in retrograde will certainly help you with this.
Pluto is a planet of transformation, entailing we will all have to face our shadow self in order to usher some light into our lives.
Be aware of any situations where you might be projected your own unconscious luggage on to someone else, and get honest with yourself about it.
With Pluto being in retrograde for the next five months, you may feel this happening at a slow burn.
Youll probably come to terms with your own underlying motivations.
For instance, are you working out every day for your health, or are you doing it to graspon to a sense of control?
Are you working hard in your career for your own sense of self-esteem, or are you doing it to demonstrate something to your parents or some other authority figure?
This sounds dark, but its one of my favorite planets.
Pluto allows us to really dig deep and find out what is stimulating us tick.
By facing our demons, we are given the opportunity to purge them from our lives and purify ourselves, becoming more authentic every day.
1. Forget Folgers. The best part of waking up is getting off soon after opening your eyes. Why not remind yourself how awesomely pleasurable life can be the instant you rise? Sexuality is, quite simply, best style to start the day.
2. In addition to produce you happy by releasing feel good hormones like oxytocin in the brain, an orgasmgives you a boost of good energythe jolt you need to handle whatever looms ahead with a positive attitude.
3. An orgasm also reminds you that youre a living, breathing, sexual being. Youre not only an employee or a friend or a member of some squad. Youre a multi-dimensional individual withsex appeal among many other awesome qualities.
4. Theres a reason they call it climaxingyoure at your peak, literally.Gettingfrisky in the AMmakes you feel on top of the world, and then youcarry that confidence with you throughout the the rest of the day.
5. Intimacy isnt just good for youits good for your relationship, too. During sex, youre literally connected to your significant other, which results you to feel more attached to them on abiological level. After a morning romp, you get to go your separate routes knowing that your bond has been strengthened by way of naked play.
6. Tenderness and physical contact also inevitably stimulate people feel loved, and who doesnt appreciatea reminder that theyre loved before breakfast?
7. Morning sex isa solidway to feel like youve done your part in meeting yoursignificant other’ssexual requires, and actingin such a generous, thoughtful wayis the key to attracting goodvibes and to resulting a smiley life.
8. Plus, thatrise-and-shine O-face you trigger in yourpartner by mounting them first thing lets you check a criticalitem( ensure s/ os ongoing sex gratification) off yourneverending To Do list before you get out of bed. That impression of accomplishment will echo throughout the balance of yourday.
9. It also means that you and your partner leave the house feeling sexually fulfilled, and are thus least likely to fantasize about other people and/ or act on said fantasies.
10. Since youre both least likely to defraud, youre also route more likely to stay together forever. Yay!
11. By the time you get home after a long day, you dont have to worry about being too depleted to do itwhen you can frankly say youve already get busy.
12. Plus, your partner can’tbegrudge you for not being so into sex come nightfall when they know they can count on you for a morning hump sesh.
13. As it happens, sexuality, like most things, is generally better when youre fresh and well rested anyway.
What the actual fuck is happening to our compassion? I have noticed a slow leak over the past several months, but like whiplash to my heart, it has almost disappeared altogether overnight. Where has it run, and what can we do to bring it back ? I am a highly sensitive person( HSP) and empath- there is no wonder I am feeling the enormous weight of all the negativity I am insuring and reading. It is surrounding me, choking me. I woke up the morning after the global Womens March and couldn’t help but suppose- is this our new normal ?
Like an overnight sensation, peoples opinion on things and need to voice that belief seemed paramount over any type of compassionate understanding or healthy human conversation. With the absence of empathy, the criticizing and attacks, and deterioration of kindness in our media- especially the kind coming from the keyboards of many of my own friends- I am taking a break. I am taking a break from hate.
I vow not to involve myself or my terms in any thread that involves harmful or threatening confrontations.
Let me be clear I will not hide away, or stop sharing my journey on social media because I believe that love and kindness, compassion and humanity genuinely do subdue the repetitive dislike discourse thats blanketed this country but I also believe that those who remain in that negative narrative and space, and constantly share that with others, are not making any progress in their growth game and are actually constructing a digital wall of censure around themselves. And I refuse to be part of that .
Why is it so difficult to show compassion? Another question might be, why must people immediately jump to being so hurtful, deigning, to construct people feel inferior? The past few days, people can’t even peacefully protest on social media without feeling threatened. And by protest, I mean even make a statement that clearly wasnt written to invite argument or alternative truth.
Hell, the largest protest and rally in history, where more than 600 cities in this country, and millions and millions of people across the world came together sending messages of unity to defend human rights of all divisions and beliefs for many merely provoked rage and dislike as a response. In the most simplistic kind, the marchings were a beautiful reminder of what We the People can come together and do together- that We the People is not simply a preamble, but a collage of identities with a bodyof belief rising up From Sea to Shining Sea, went on to say that social justice and human rights will not be sacrificed or limited only to those who can afford them.
The message in my mind was pretty clear we have come too far and worked too hard for our rights to be taken away- and when rights are threatened( which is exactly what is happening ), rights that defend the color of our skin, protect the lady proportions between our legs, make public policies that prevent us from living in poverty, help people like me pay back student loans, allow for a diverse melting pot of amazing humans, or let mother earth to grow instead of deny climate change( just to name a few) when these are threatened we must rise up . If you disagree with me on anything that I post, please recollect there is absolutely no need to be entail and disrespectful, there is a difference between disagree and contempt. What I have watched, even by some who call me their friend is hate speech or use terms like rape, murder, fuck bitches, whiny newborns. Let me get this straight you think those words are going to win me over? You think those words are words that should be part of the current political disposition? You candidly believe that you sound intelligent by utilizing terms like that to defend your opinion ?
I cannot speak for anyone else, but what you are actually doing to me is frightening the shit out of me. I am profoundly moved by those that choose the high ground when communicating with one another, especially those with differing opinions, I love those humen so much but for those who have chosen to abandon compassion and kind behavior you scare me, and you have more than disrespected my voice as your friend – you have intersected a line.
I love you no matter your political opinion- but I will delete your comments and unfriend you if they are threatening to anyone or have an ulterior motive. If opinions alone insight so much intense disgust, then we have a problem- that’s not how this works. I don’t pressure or force-out my views on anyone- and I can be both conservative on many issues and also be a modern hippie at the same time- that is what being American is all about.
I know myself well enough to know what my limits are, what I am able to handle and emotionally espouse. I know that self-care must be a priority when you feel so connected to people, especially when my main purpose on social media is sharing my personal journey in order to inspire and lift onus on both sides.
When the burden becomes too heavy to carry however, it is time for a different approach- one that takes care of your sensitive heart, but that also allows you to remain strong enough to share your voice in what seems to be a climate of lost compassion .
I read this somewhere, forgive me for not remember, but whoever wrote it I want to be your friend. They wrote I give a fuck. I give lots of fucks, actually. I am basically a prostitute of feelings. Not only is this a big part of my truth as an empath, it reminds me that I wish people would wash their souls clean and start focusing on what rebuilds, restores and harmonizes with the very best that could come if we set all that energy into something other than what separates us. The only thing I have the energy to focus on isloveand what impacts myGrowth Game. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity these days- So what do we do?
How do we cope when, for many of us, the world is one big emotional trigger- Answer: We wage the struggle by being our very best selves, rise above and crusade. So I focus on what heals me, what I considerself-careandtherapy, and allows me to bestrongenough to continue loving humanity no matter how ugly we get. I gettattooed, Ipaint, I write, Iroad cycle and operate, Ipuppy-love, Imentor, Idance, Icook, and I use the media as a platform for good, trying to show whatcompassionand healing looks like.
I embrace thediversityofhopeandresilienceacross any barrier. The weight of dislike is exhausting, and what’s worse is the constant chattering that surrounds it. Talk about love, talking here impactful advocacy, and be kind to each other. Use your voice to influence what’s hopeful, because our world is too focused on the things and people who want to take that voice away. Make your little world bubble impenetrable to anything but love .
If your affiliation isnt straight, if your shoes arent set on the rug by the door, if your
dishes are left on the counter by the sink, then you dont love her.
See, its always been about the little things .
The smallest gestures that indicate you love person. That say mutely and unconsciously, shes on your mind.
When you genuinely love person, it fills every pleat and cranny of your life. You think of that person, their desires, their wants and requires, and you become tuned into those things because they matter . .
You dont leave your dishes by the sink because it merely takes another minute to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. You dont walk around the house with shoes on because you know she appreciates her freshly-vacuumed floors.
You put your tie-in on straight-out because that goes to show seemed in the mirror. That you wanted to make yourself presentable. That you thought of not only yourself, but of her, and desired to look your best, because shes yours and youre hers.
If your affiliation isnt straight, you dont love her.
Its not because youre lazy, or forgetful, or made a mistake. Its because you overlooked this little thing. Which constructs into bigger things, which abruptly becomes an attitude of nonchalance. Of indifference. Of falling out of love.
See, when your ties straight, you were purposeful. You were dedicated. You wanted things to be right, even the interesting thing. Because little things matter. Because you love her, and your appearance is a reflection of who you areyour happiness, your confidence, and your representation of two people , not only one.
It voices stupid, doesnt it? That a lopsided tie-in could abruptly landslide into something much bigger. But its the principle of it. The notion that you didnt look in the mirror. Didnt ask her to give you a once-over. Didnt lean into her for a good morning, a good afternoon, a goodnight kiss where she would have immediately pulled back, furrowed her eyebrows, and righted that off-kilter tie.
You didn’t think to involve her in this seemingly mundane part of their own lives. And it turns out, these moments actually matter more than you think .
Maybe its stupid, to proclaim that a affiliation matters so much.
But perhaps it isnt. Maybe modern-day love really is built on those little moments. Built upon the way we lean into each other, and the style we carry ourselves, indicate ourselves to the world, boldly proclaiming that And I’m proud to present it.
Love, especially love that lasts, does not happen by chance. It happens for people who are ready to drop their illusions, perpetrate, maintain perpetrating even when it’s the harder thing to do, and generally not require someone to save them from themselves. Love is a practice, and it’s success isn’t random. Here, 15 personality traits that can predict the quality of your romantic future 😛 TAGEND
1. You like yourself. Some research presents that for a romantic relationship to work, your” big 5″ personality traits need to align. You have to like who you are as an individual, otherwise you’re not going to like members of the public who mirrors you.
2. You can respect others you don’t understand. You can acknowledge that other people’s feelings are valid, even if you haven’t had them yourself. In other words, you can practise empathy.
3. You base notions on experiences , not premises. This is to say: you are able to pick a partner because you love to expend your days with them , not because you have checked off enough boxes and believe them to fit some description you made up about what your soulmate would be like.
4. You have a “growth” mindset. You believe that your life is about developing yourself, and because you look at everything that happens to you as feedback, you’re able to do the same in a relationship. It builds you better able to function in a relationship that will naturally change and evolve.
5. You can work even when you don’t “feel like it.” You don’t always need to be comfortable and happy to carry on, which is absolutely crucial when it comes to compromising and making a relationship work.
6. You can be present. Your mind isn’t always reaching for something else to look for, or the other problem to fix. You’ve already begun doing the work of learning how to focus on what’s happening in front of you. So you’re able to actually fall in love not fall in love with the idea of someone.
7. You have the grace to communicate your feelings, and the confidence to know they matter. You express what you want and need rather than squelch your true feelings and wait for them to explosion some day. You can share what you want and how you think without it becoming a stress-inducing ordeal.
8. You’re independent. You see yourself as an individual first. Even better: you’ve lived on your own, or at the least supported yourself in some capacity. When you develop sense of self first, you are no longer dependent on a relationship to attain you who you are, or construct you feel secure.
9. You’re most realistic than you are romantic. Ironically enough, a romantic outlook on life does not make a romantic relationship work it’s realists who have an easier period accepting the dark sides of intimacy, and then being more grateful and present for the lighter ones, too.
10. You have criteria , not expectations. The difference is that a standard is being able to determine what’s acceptable vs. what’s not. An expectation is the idea that something will turn out exactly as you imagine or desire.
11. You have objectives for their own lives that you desire just as much as you do a romantic relationship.
12. You aren’t a perfectionist, which is to say that you don’t believe you can earn or guaranty love by eliminating “risk factors.” You ensure love for what it is: a genuine exchange, most profoundly devoted between two imperfect people, in spite of those imperfections.
13. You can confront the ache of your past. If you can’t let yourself feel pain, you will also be unable to feel love. It’s not an either/ or various kinds of thing. To be avoidant of one is to also avoid the other.
14. You are willing to be wrong. You know you don’t know what you don’t know( read that twice-over ). This one is probably self-explanatory to its implementation of a relationship, but what it also indicates is that you’re willing to grow.
15. You don’t think the world owes you anything. You believe that a soul mate relationship is something you build more than it is something you “find.” You know you have to work for what you want to have and hold. This is the attitude that tends to keep people around, because you don’t take them for granted.
Readjusting to single girl life, I have gone on more dates this year than in my entire life blended: lawyers, industrialists, scientists, engineers, trust fund children, accountants, IT analysts, advertisers, salesmen. I have now officially dated EVERYONE in this city. A plenty of those dates were trainwrecks from the start: dead dialogues, uncomfortable advances, awkward remarks. But occasionally you really click with someone new and sparks rain down. Great! This is so exciting! Now what?
You Google them. Obviously.
But lets back up here. Say you dont know their last name. That happens sometimes. So then you plug in their phone number to White Pages and, voila, there it is. All of their glorious datum, entailing at the least their last name and maybe their age. Then you pause, is of the view that you at least know that, and start deeming other people you know who have similar last names.
I am very logical.
After you spend 0.73 seconds holding just waiting to see what theyre like organically, you realise God induced the Internet for a reason, and you are only insulting Him by not researching this boy on social media. Youd hate to be smited, especially right after satisfying this great guy, so you go for it. You click through the limited privacy permitted Facebook profile images, refrain from looking at LinkedIn because, dang it, itll tell them if you appeared, and you read any other little tidbits that Google decides to offer up. Usually its funny quotes from a college newspaper or random websites theyre linked to. Sometimes, though, if youre really[ un] luck, articles pop up about their relatives. Their relatives who are actually international fugitives who are not allowed into the country anymore and may have a made-for-TV movie made about the crime they committed. But thats merely happened to me once.
You overly critique their texting styles.
I may be partial since I graduated with an English degree, but come along. Demonstrate me y-o-u care by fully spelling out your words. Soothe it down with the text talk, lololol. And why so many exclamation phases ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I cant handle this.* screaming face emoji siren emoji eggplant emoji* Give me a properly executed sentence, and Ill give you my heart.
You start asking reciprocal friends about them.
Sometimes youre lucky enough( thanks to Facebook-stalking) to realize that youve got a few friends in common. So hit up that old friend-of-a-classmates-exs-roommate and ask what they think about this guy.
You make an effort to run into them in public.
The best hour for this to happen is when youre looking great and youre out at a bar with your girlfriends or, in my occurrence, my very attractive lesbian male friend. A less great time for this to happen is when youre as previously mentioned, but youre at a lesbian bar with said friend. The worst time for this to happen is when youre inside aforementioned gay bar and the drag queen emcee announces the strip competition that is about to begin, and you find yourself unknowingly watching the guy youve been ensure taking his clothes off for money.
And then you find out hes a regular. And then one of the guys behind you nudges you after noticing you staring, mistaking your horror for intrigue, and tells you you should try and get a date with that. BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE. But its almost okay because at least he won.
1. You dont need to be doing anything especially arousing or textbook fun to have an amazing time with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Being together is the one and only requirement for having a downright awesome time.
2. Sometimes, in fact, lying in bed together late into the morning and lazing about is the most rewarding route to spend an entire day.
3. Having utterly no schemes is a treat when it means you get to devote every waking minute to loving each otherand while sex contact is generally greeted, it’s not inevitably required.
4. Although it have to be said that you finally is how mindblowing sex is when you feel genuinely connected to the person youre sleeping with.
5. You love the way your significant other smells so much, you roll over to their side of the bed sporadically just to sniff their pillow a little.
6. When you’re separated for too many hours, you’ve also been known to inter your face in one of their t-shirts for a comforting whiff.
7. You definitely wear their clothes whenever possible , not because their shirts and jeans look all that good on you, but because you genuinely want to feel closer to them.
8. Certain words have taken on new meaning within your relationshipspecial, random terms dripping in positive context, fond memories, and inside jokes merely you two comprehend.
9. You pretty much speak your very own couple’s speech, like a pair of secret agent deftly manipulating code to insulate yourselves from outsiders.
10. You routinely decline invitations to set aside room to hang out with each other only because you cherish being alone together.
11. You’re not one to dodge friends, but you dont feel bad about fibbing to people to preserve your special hour with your significant other because that’s what maintains you going.
12. Being with your partner is like bathing in tranquility, relief, security, love, and convenience. You never grow tired of it, even when you fight.
13. Fighting is part of your ongoing narrative because it’s inevitable within a relationship. But you can always insure a glimmer of peace on the horizon when you’re in the thick of a nasty exchange.
14. You consult you partner on almost all matters, from what to wear to an important meeting to how you should word a critical email and whether or not you should feed grilled cheese or chicken for dinner.
15. Your partner’s sentiment entails a lot to you and taking their input into consideration never feels like a sacrifice of ego. It feels right.
16. You approach certain simple chores differently since the time you first started datingmaybe you use an electric toothbrush now, or you clean with an exfoliating glove instead of a loofabecause you want to do things way.
17. Over the months or years, youve quietly observed each others habits and tapped the best from both your worlds, making for one stronger unit overall.
18. One of you definitely started feeing better or exercising more thanks to the other.
19. Suddenly, your health and longevity matter in an entirely new wayyou want to stick around largely because you dont want to miss out on any time with your devotee.
20. Your friends and family have noted that your partner makes you insanely happy, and that your position overall has improved significantly since you got together.
21. When you sense that someones envious of your bond, you downplay your relationship out of kindness and good manners, but secretly you know they have reason to be jealous.
22. Any doubts you once entertained about observing the right person have wholly evaporated.
23. You dont deem yourself half of a couple. Youre part of a squad. A dual human unit that does life better together than separately.
If youre like the rest of the world, youre likely still reeling from last nights satisfying wrap-up to the
HBO miniseries Big Little Lies .
Sure, the finale delivered on its many promises, uncovering who met a grisly objective at Otter Bay Elementarys themed gala( and who did the deed itself ), but there is so much more to take away from the overtly dramatic lives of these California women than the mere narrative of a murder-mystery.
In fact, the characters of Big Little Lies have managed to show the world that love and all its parts continuously come together to form one big, sloppy mess.
Theres this ongoing belief that love will fix things, causing any savagery to end and everyones livesto revert back this overwhelming sense of bliss.Butin fact, love only causes everything toget progressively worse.
Characterswho appear the most prim and proper, livingin outrageously pricey homes with large, caring families, are the ones who end up caught in this disarray, lying to themselves the most to stay afloat.
As we get to know main characters Madeline( Reese Witherspoon ), Celeste( Nicole Kidman) and Jane( Shailene Woodley) on a much more intimate level, we learn theres so much more underneath the surface of their lives than the day-to-day facade thats beencrafted.
Jane, thenewest resident of Monterey, is forced to defend her son almost immediately after hes accused of violence against a classmate, while she fights to stay afloat in this extremely classy coastal town.
Jane fears she stands out too much and is afraid her distressed past will permanently brand her as an foreigner. As a survivor of rape, the only love in Janes life comes from the relationship between mother and son. But regardless of the love he gives her, heserves as a constant reminder of that tragic affair.
Madeline, the sophisticated ringleader, acts as the glue that holds our beloved trio together, when in reality, she can hardly keep her own family matters from crumbling apart.
Though shes recovering from a failed matrimony with a new beau, Ed Mackenzie( Adam Scott ), Madelines insecurities, like her alpha, domineering attitude and desire to always be the best, appears to stand outwhenever shes around former husband Nathan( James Tupper) and his new spouse, bohemian-chic Bonnie( Zo Kravitz ).
We find out sex with Ed is infrequent and low on the spice factor. Theresjust missing in their relationship, which results Madeline to seek out passion elsewhere.
Thedent in that blonde armor of hers comes in the form of infidelity, proving to the audience( and to Madeline herself) that she is far fromhaving the perfect fairytale aiming she seeks.
And Celeste, an intelligent woman in her own right, is clearly held back from her full potential due to a violent relationship with husband Perry( Alexander Skarsgard ).
We know Celeste is exceedingly capable of holding her own, whether at home or when spewing out legal lingo as a former lawyer, but her fear suspends her in time.
Celeste wants to do whats best for her two sons, butis hesitant to leave her husband because she doesnt want todisrupt the family dynamic. Shes nervous that an action this big would causeother mothers of Monterey to look at her differently, and that any further actions against Perry could cost her her life.
She also thinks she still loves him, and therefore wants to protect him.
Thismix of love and dislike has her conflicted on what the appropriate actions to take when it is necessary to her marriage, and by the seasons aim, it explodes into
a moment we all but expected to happen.
The big bloody uncover, though built up to be this huge astonish, is not the main takeaway as the final minutes tick on.
Theres this underlying commonality between all of the characters thats been under disguise until they step out frombehind closed doors: The well-being of these women are far away from perfect, and anylove they seek to have in “peoples lives” comes with consequences.
The showsfinal minutes of literal stillnes speak volumes, and the women proven acting civil, enjoying themselves on the beach, sort of acts as this purification of everythingweve witnessed over the last few weeks in Monterey.
Throughout all that disorder, they were able to find a sliver of happiness. The humen arent demonstrated( as they seemed to be sources of conflict throughout the series ). Instead, the women arefeatured scampering around with their kids.
Theres an overwhelming sense of love radiating from the scene, despite the disorder and no inclusion of dialogue.
Are things absolutely perfect for Jane, Madeline and Celeste at this point in time? Even with all those coy smilings on the warm sand, its highly unlikely.
Theyhave, however, somewhat tackled thedemons that have stopped them from discovering love.
Madeline has accepted its impossible to life live without defect and is learning to love herself for who she is. Celestes troubled relationship with Perry has come to a close albeit nothow she planned which will allow her to reconnect with her two boys and, hopefully, a new man.
Jane is now able to close the door on the chapter in their own lives involving the sexual assault, providing some close and acceptance. There could be hope for her and barista Tom( who isnt homosexual, guys) after all.
Big Little Lies may be a fictional prove, but its only confirmed our suspicions as to how messy love can be. No matter how pristine you hope things will turn out, theres always some inevitable bumps in the road.