1. That you’re just nave to how the world runs .
Clearly you merely don’t yet, right? Your cheery disposition means you’re young to how things happen and, in time, you’ll learn the truth. Um, or perhaps you DO know and BECAUSE of that you’ve decided to look at things glass half-full. People will accuse you of wearing rose-colored glass, but perhaps they’re just jealous that they don’t have a pair.
2. That you’ve never experienced loss or trauma .
You just haven’t really been through anything.
-_- Puhleaseeee. Ignore that idiotic bull. You can suffer extreme loss and still maintain a positive attitude. Some people merely do. And it’s never something to feel shamed for. Keep on glistening. We could all use a solid flashlight to wade through the dark.
3. That you’re “faking” it .
No one is like that. You’re just trying to impress someone, or pulling this fakey-nice-nice veil to get away with something else. God forbid you’re just different kinds person who believes in the very best, even if you’ve seen your fair share of the opposite.
4. That you don’t have any real problems .
Some of the strongest people I’ve known aren’t exactly the people you’d assumes have triumphed against terrible odds. The goofy ones. The class jester, looking at silver linings when everyone can only watch clouds. The human spirit of survival seems different for everyone. Maybe this mentality is how they carry onward. Don’t judge.
5. That you’ve never experienced depression .
Everyone gets sad. No one is disputing that. But depression is something most varied. Whether it’s chronic or situational, depression can hit anyone. It doesn’t pick and choose based on how smiley person seems, or if appeared as though they walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. Depression doesn’t solely exist in pessimists( you can be a pessimist and never struggle with depression ), and it doesn’t skip over all the optimists. It can hit anyone, any time.
6. Or anxiety .
Same can be said with nervousnes. We all release a little cortisol( the main stress hormone) from time to time. But chronic nervousnes ailments don’t only show up in visibly Woody Allen-level neurotic people. Some people are very talented at covering up what’s really going on inside. You never genuinely know. Unless you know. Ya know?
7. That you’re always happy .
You’re human, so…no. You aren’t always happy. Because you aren’t a weird robot ??? Optimists can( and do) have off-days.
8. That you’ve always got the right thing to say.
Just because you try to stay positive in situations doesn’t mean you aren’t just as lost as everyone else. You love being there for the person or persons you care about, and giving advice when you can, but that doesn’t mean you’ve got words of wisdom for every situation. All you can promise is that you’ll listen and love. And that’s really what matters.
9. That you can’t be logical.
There’s this terrible idea that people who are excited about life, those who look at the world like it’s full of greatness( even if they know the bad shit also exists) are somehow not logical beings. They function based on feeling and feeling merely. Nope. Not true. They are just as intelligent and able to think things through as their “realistic” comrades, they just do so with a said he hoped that things will work out for the very best. And candidly? We all need those individuals in our lives.
1. You miss him only when you are alone.
You go the whole day without him traversing your intellect. Then, as you get into bed, you are sitting there wishing there was someone next to you. Physical affection is significant and no one should go too long without it.
If you are feeling sad or lonely, those are normal impressions. This does not inevitably mean that you miss him, but more likely mean you miss having person . Someone to kiss, someone to touch, someone to feel with. Remember that feeling lonely is normal andtemporary .
2. You rationalize his behavior.
If he makes a rude comment, you overlook it. If he talks down to you, you ignore it. If he’s rude to your friends, you turn a blind eye. If he changes the subject, you let him.
There is a difference between being laid-back and delusional. Building excuses for someone doesn’t help you. If you make it a habit, you will let that irritability grow deep inside of you. You may end up losing it or even resenting the person.This hurts only you .
3. You start to change your views or opinions.
You find yourself questioning your values and what you think matters. You morph your notions around his opinions. Perhaps your wants and passions have dwindled or decreased. Stay away from this behavior as this could lead to settling.
You don’t deserve to settle; you deserve the best. As frustrating as it can be when you don’t have it all, it is that much more fulfilling and worth the wait when youdo.
4. You often fantasize about future memories.
You find yourself imagining future journeys and escapades. You focus more on the health risks of what could be versus what actually is. Hope is a beautiful thing but ask yourself if you’ve gotten carried away. Is thefantasybetter than the reality?
5. There are things you want to change.
Would you want someone to change you? Likely not. If you do want to make some changes, this has to be something youdiscover and then figure out for yourself.
6. You compare yourself to other couples.
You think if you merely changed this one thing, you would be just as happy as that other couple you jealousy so much. However, mostcouples that use social media to jostle their visual happiness through your corneas are theleasthappy.
This does not apply for all.However, in myexperience, I have noticed the happier couples are usually the ones that are actually out being happy rather than the ones presentingrepetitive updates and lengthy explanations of how happy they are.
7. You begin to question what you deserve.
Stop that right now. I’ll say it again, you deserve the best in all aspects of life. Fight for the job, the love and the life you deserve. Never settle.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by creed — which is living with the results of other people’s believing. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and hunch. They somehow already know what you genuinely want to become. Everything else is secondary
— Steve Jobs
This article was originally published on
the author’s personal blog
This might sound weird, but I merely want to sit in a room and be borne with you. I want to stare at wall-to-wall carpet with you while thinking about hair. I want to drink lukewarm Bigelow tea with you. I want to watch mediocre TV with you and have low-grade headaches with you and feed bowl of overcooked pasta with you. I want to buy store-brand wheat bread with you. I want to start a dialogue about something controversial with you until both of us realize we dont know enough about it so we have to switch to talking about food. I want to trace the grain on an artificial timber tabletop while playing four-letter nouns in Bananagrams.
This will be after the not-bored years. Three vacations to hot, photogenic places. Forty Gchat reactions so strong we see the little foxes. Seven passive-aggressive auto rides, fourteen unintentionally backhanded compliments, five misguided ice-outs. An afternoon when we take our career choices out of our heads and set them on the table and stab them with little sticks and forks. A fight where someone throws a spoon. One night that feels like ten, when we go to a strangers apartment and laugh at their accent wall and stand on opposite sides of their room wailing obscure pasta shapes.
After all thatI want to be bored with you.
Not bored of you. Bored. We can drive a Toyota Camry to a strip mall in Jersey, park outside a Rite Aid and chew the insides of our cheeks. We can stare at a concrete column and listen to a Chilis ad. I can touch my one long eyelash and you can pull your one long eyebrow hair. We should do this when its cloudy.
We can let go of all our affectations and all the things we say at parties. We can let go of funny and exciting and interesting and offensive and microaggressive. We can stop trying to be the versions of ourselves that will get the most dopamine, the versions that have been engineered by and for everyone around us. We can stop auto-transcribing everything that happens between us and filtering it into the Good box or the Bad box. We can stop all the overcommunicating and signaling, we can stop being semaphores for whatever we want to feel.
But we can only be borne after weve been everything else. We can only be borne after weve wanted to fuck each other and kill each other, after weve been monumentally silent and pitifully loud. After weve fallen through the canopy of clever gags and Dimly Lit Honesty and what-do-you-think-about-this-disaster-that-happened-yesterday-in-another-city-another-country-another-another-another. After weve arrived at the gray bedrock of our relationship, which isnt fun or tormented or worth blogging about. After weve walked back and forth fifty days over the same conversational thread and constructed one another crazy with everything weve said and not said.
Have you ever put your lips in neutral mode and let your cheeks kind of fall into their pockets just because? Just because? Have you ever picked wax from your left ear while cirrus clouds fall apart and you breathe trace amounts of diesel fuel?
The best things are bearing. The best moments are bearing. They dont light up a timeline or a desktop background or a dialogue, and no matter how much you try, you probably wont recollect them. They are the temporal equivalent of muscle, and without them youd get nowhere.
The best people are the boring ones, too. They are the human equivalent of marble. They bought a Yankee Candle last week but they havent lighted it yet.
So perhaps if it all is all very well, we can end up in the entrance to a 30 -year-old Rite Aid. Well stand underneath yellow light and look at all the Lemonheads and those little tubes full of what look like smaller M& Ms though they arent M& Ms. Well put our hands in our jacket pockets and walk down aisles of plastic superheroes and lawn chairs.
We can stop at the candles, open one or two, and pick the one that smells most like nothing in particular. Just a vague combination of flowers and fruit.
We’ve all been in this situation.
You discover you have strong impressions for someone, you get swept up in the emotion and you suddenly think it’s time to blurt out those three words.
You know you want the other person to say them, too.
But merely because you want to say them, that doesn’t mean you should.
Before you blurt out something too early in a relationship for the incorrect reasons or with the incorrect motives read on to see if you’re on the right path.
So, you met someone new and clicked with him or her.
It’s exciting when you’re both together.
You constantly find yourself thinking about him or her when you’re apart.
But is it love, or is it only lust and infatuation?
Well, for starters, the feeling you’re probablyexperiencing isn’t actually real love.
M. Scott Peck, author of“The Road Less Traveled, ”
defines love as “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of fostering one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”
Falling in love, however, is more like a sex-linked, erotic experience.
It is a false perception of reality, an illusion.
This romantic love( or honeymoon period) will eventually aim in any relationship, even if the relationship buds into real love and continues.
The “in love” feeling will dissolve and give way to the realization that an imperfect person and imperfect relationship necessitates work.
This work is the real love.
We can’t force ourselves to fall in love with someone.
When we do, we generally presume it’s the real thing, even if we weren’t attempting the impression or didn’t have anything in common with the object of our affections.
It’s one thing to detect someone who likes the same food, pastimes or interior decor.
But, it’s another thing wholly to find a person who had shares your values, beliefs and morals.
However, the ironic portion is, you might immediately rule out a possible life partner simply because he or she doesn’t using the same taste in music.
However, having said this, feeling in love is oftena precursor to real love.
It can’t always be ignored or dismissed.
Now, let’s question most people’s motives for saying, “I love you, ” and why this can cause ill feeling, sadnes and heartache.
Most people say the three magic words for one reason: They are hopeful the other person will say them, too.
We all need to feel validated, especially in romantic relationships.
We are allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and uncovered, so we want someone else to feel the same way.
The fact is, there are no assures in life.
Saying, “I love you” is being willing to put yourself in a hugely vulnerable place, especially considering the fact you may be left hanging.
Therefore, we should only ever tell person how we feel if we are sure it comes from the heart.
Our words should not be dependent upon the other person’s response.
You have to be in a position where you are aware of the possible reaction your words may get.
Be prepared to deal with the consequences.
One thing we should all practice when we feel these emotions is giving them time.
The first time you feel like saying it is never the right time.
We’ve all been in relationships or known friends in relationships who fell the L-bomb in the first week of dating.
Some of you reading this will be having a “WTF ?! ” moment right now, and I hear you.
But the fact is, I’ve been guilty of this myself.
Even now, I often find myself feeling like I want to say, “I love you” within sevenmonths of getting to know someone.
But I rightfully hold myself back from saying it. It’s merely too soon.
This doesn’t mean I can’t say other things that actually have more meaning.
You can say things to your SOthat let him or her read between the lines.
You can showyour SO that he or she is very important to you without putting yourself entirely on the line or scaring him or her away.
There are lots of things you can say if you take the time to think about them or write them down.
You can tell your SO you are happy you shared its own experience with him or her.
You can tell your SO you’re glad he or she is in your life.
There is an infinite number of heartfelt things you can say that will construct him or her feel important and pretty amazing, if you merely use your imagination.
Perhaps more important than saying things is doing things.
Anyone can say, “I love you” without meaning it.
Many people who have been on the receiving objective of this kind of “love” in the past will be wary of hearing words from you that don’t match up to your actions.
Sending blooms and buying gifts can be ways toshow person how you feel.
But, too many of these gestures will come across as too strong.
Small, thoughtful gifts are good, as are letters, cards or postcards when you are apart.
Remembering what your significant other said is also a very powerful route to present you care.
Each and every time you say or do something like this, you will get feedback.
Watch the style he or she acts, and induce that a more important indicator than what he or she actually says.
It’s easier to disguise the route you feel with your words than your actions.
When the time comes for you to finally deliver the three big words, you may not want to be dependent upon his or her response, but you also don’t want him or her to run away.
Taking an appropriate sum of time to build a trusting bond with someone and to invest in the relationship is the only style to know, deep in your heart, that you love someone.
Like I stated earlier, only devote it time.
I waited for you, for longer than I care to admit. My impressions for you were wildfire and my desert was without rain. I fell for you almost instantly, you were charming and charismatic. An electric type of man, the one that constructed other humen insecure and women practically fell at your feet. You loved to be adored and admired, to be the center of your lovers attention. Thats what you always wanted, and I like to give people I like everything I can so they have all they need. A foundation of life, of love and abundance.
You told me in little routes that I was special. Because you would let me in, something thats hard for you . . I acknowledge it wasnt always easy for me either, but I tried and I gave you honesty when you took me for granted. Repeatedly, over and over. Without so many apologies, never once did you even buy me blooms. But I was your baby at least you told me so at night. And while I grew angry at your lack of commitment or care, you procured other girls to love.
But I still cared. After everything, I still wanted you.
That was the fucked up component. I could get over abuse. I could move past sex shame and cravings to numb my pain.
But when I thought about you, my heart still felt the same.
I persuaded myself we were soulmates, born 6 months apart to the day. I thought your darkness balanced out my lighting. I thought that you were like pools of rain. Like the ocean in your eyes, brought just for me- the colour of sky. I wanted to dive into the depths of shallow waters and bathe in your hopes and anxieties. But I am the dirt, that grows in orchards and constructs knolls into mountains. Pushing out life and taking away demise. Molding into anything, but more often the home for life to grow in. Together, “weve been” dirt. Mud that attains seeds sprout open and generates the green Earth. We can attain one another grow into anything we want.
We shared the same dreams for our lives. With music, art and authenticity. We played sungs, and danced, and chuckled and played love together. I was there when you stole that gardening hat you like so much. I was there when you met your inner wild human. I was there when you needed a friend to help you up again. I was always there for you. Because thats who I am and thats how I love. Ride or Die. All in or all out.
But I broke my rules for you. I awaited around for your late night calls simply to fake the intimacy. What I wanted was your midnight kiss, your dreams and desires. To share your past and your future. To be there at your proudest moment and on your blackest day.
You make me feel so alive I would be crazy not to want it all with you .
Youre overwhelming and intoxicating. Youre liberty from being trapped in a magical lamp. You make me feel empowered and sexy, interesting and funny. You make me feel small and inconsequential. Not good enough and ashamed to gues I ever stood a chance. To say youre hot and cold, would be easy. You are terrible and divine. A power I have yet to understand but one I found I can control.
Thats right. I can have power over you. This is how .
I can play the nice girl and be your friend to lend a shoulder when youre down. I can be your baby, that shows you how to lay it down. I can be your caretaker, and treat you better than any girl whos been around. I can love you without emotional bounds. I can teach you how to mend your wounds. How to ascend like a tree in the forest. I can show you how to feel compassion for strangers, enemies and virtually anyone. I can do anything. I am not like those girls who came before me. Because I forgave you, because despite everything I will continue to care about you.
And most of all, because I am the girl who will never lay down and die. I can do it with you, I can do it without you. You dont need me is to say that you need me. You already know. So dont lose me while Im deciding if I should finally go.
I usually don’t talk about my beliefs because the comments segment of any well-thought-out article can be pretty brutal and I’m just now mastering the capacities not to reply to folly. On top of that, it annoys me that people don’t realize that only because I believe in God doesn’t mean you have to, but at the same time-don’t disrespect Him in my face. Honestly, for me, it will cause the same reaction you get when you instantaneously defend your mom if someone tried to hurl shade at her. To put things frankly, I’m not having it. So, proceed with caution. This isn’t intended to offend, but instead to defend those of us who know God’s love and power . Here are 9 reasons why I unapologetically believe in the power of God.
1. I devoted birth.
There isn’t a single spirit on Earth that can persuade me that we can endure such a challenge as giving birth on our own. Speaking from( very recent) experience, there is no way I could have given birth to such a beautiful, innocent vessel as my baby daughter without the help of God, himself . From the pain to the pleasure-nobody but God. Don’t try to convince me otherwise because it won’t work. If you haven’t had a newborn on your own, do you not get the same feeling when you define your eyes on such an innocent, perfect creation as a newborn child?
2. I have survived more than one near-death experience.
I am a firm disciple that merely God could have delivered me from what was once a very sweet savour of all my favorite drugs-that’s right. I’m not gonna tell you about how much I love God and then deny how I’ve experienced His power firsthand. He’s delivered me from many things-depression, craving, envy-and the listing goes on . I’ve had my life spared on numerous occasions and with all the commotion going on in the world right now that constructs me feel even more thankful for the times God has saved me. Those weren’t things that I could mentally beat, it was literally the grace of God.
3. It’s easier to trust God than to worry about things I can’t control.
My mama always said if you’re going to pray, don’t worry. If you’re going to worry, don’t pray. As a child, it was simply easy to repeat. As an adult, I wholly understand what she entailed now. It is so exhausting to sit and stress about things we have no control over. It’s silly. The God I serve will carry those onus for you . He won’t construct you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Don’t believe me? Try Him for yourself.
4. God sees me in brand new light every day.
Unlike friends, household, and adherents, God considers us new every day. Every hour he blesses us to open our eyes to a new day He gives us a fresh start to get things right. He is a forgiving God. He doesn’t say,” Oh there’s Isis, the former drug abuser .” On top of that, He insures us all the same. God loves all His children . I don’t know about you, but I feel honored merely typing that. We are so lucky to be loved by such a merciful God. Lord knows, if it weren’t for His grace and mercy, I would have already been burning in hell.
5. God is better to me than I am to myself.
When I compare how I treat myself and how God treats me, all I can say is” thank God that He is in control and not me .” I’ve tried to end my life on many occasions, but none of the endeavors ever worked. Not even taking it as far as suicide, there are days where I’ve just let negative energy defeat me and God doesn’t want that for me. God doesn’t merely love me on my good days. He loves me unconditionally with every breath that I take . Now that I’m smarter and stronger in Him, I thank Him for always loving me more than I love me. I know it seems like hub-bub I genuinely do, but I know that anybody who has ever felt totally alone, down-and-out and still pulled through knows exactly what kind of love I’m talking about. Feeling God’s love is truly an experience.
6. I have never been in a more promising relationship than the one I’m in with God.
He’s my father. My best friend. My lawyer. My physician. My teacher. In other words, there is NOTHING too big for my God. He is everything I require Him to be, anytime I need Him to be it. When I’m lonely, He is my comfort. When I’m hurting, He is my healer. When I’m scared( or stupid ), He is my defender . He has induced promises to His disciples that I have yet to experience because I’m still growing in Christ, but there are also many promises that I am witnessing in my life firsthand.
7. I started paying my tithes and now I induce more money than I ever imagined-no lie.
Y’all. I kid you not. I started devoting God my 10% and when I tell you He blew my intellect Each week thereafter. I. AM. NOT. LYING. This is a personal journey that I foster you to learn more about . All I can say is that within a 3-month period of paying my tithes willingly and selflessly I ran from making a few dollars here and there to five figures! God( and my best friends) as my witness.
8. I have identified, recognise, and accepted its main purpose in life.
I’ll admit that when I started writing I merely identified it as something I loved to do. I didn’t really seem much further than that. Sure, I told myself that I was a good novelist, but I didn’t expect to be getting thousands of shares on my work. I didn’t expect to touch the lives of individuals all over the world that I’ll never have the pleasure of fulfilling . And I certainly cannot fathom what God still has in store for me! Since getting closer to God I have been able to work in my passion, better yet my calling in life and this is only the beginning.
9. Nothing feelings better than glorifying God.
At the end of the day , nothing feelings better than knowing I’ve tried to honor God. Whether through ballad, worship, writing, pray, or praise all the glory and honor goes to Him. I have never experienced a more fruitful and meaningful life than this one I’ve spent unapologetically chasing God . I’m not afraid to say that falling in love with His son was the best decision I have ever made.
Wow, I dont know who pissed off whom, but this April is shaping up to be a real fuck-show.
Four thats right, FOUR planets are
going retrograde this month.
So, get ready to meditate with a grenade in both hands.
Basically, our entire lives will feel like a game of whack-a-mole. Once we overcome one hurdle, well operate immediately into the next one.
Each planets retrograde will rule over a different region of our lives, and the following guide will help you learn exactly how to handle the challenges as they come 😛 TAGEND
Venus retrograde until April 15
has been in retrograde since March 4, so youve probably already been feeling the effects of countries around the world of love, beauty and money in the regions of your life.
You may have been focusing on healing any issues or blocks that youve been feeling in regard to your ability to give or receive love, or to earn money by doing what you love.
Relationships that havent been working may have come to a close, or you may have finally gotten out of a undertaking that you havent been fully invested in.
You could be moving on to something you truly love, or you may have been reflecting on what you want from your next partnership.
Either way, you are strengthening your bond to yourself and to what is truly important to you.
Saturn retrograde on April 6
Saturn retrograde merely occurs once a year.
Thank GAWD above for that because there is nothing tougher than the taskmaster planet when it goes into retrograde.
This is going to be a time when you face your anxieties, responsibilities and goals head-on.
Youll be rethinking your career route and what you have to do to get where you want. And youll do it, even if it frightens you.
This sounds motivating, but when Saturn goes retrograde, it feels anything but.
The thing about Saturn retrograde is, it forces us to do the thing , not thething.
Generally, its only motivational in retrospect.
The next time were faced with a challenge that seems insurmountable, we can look back at the hill we climbed while Saturn was in retrograde on that rainy spring in April and see how far weve come.
Mercury retrograde on April 9
We all know the shit circus that is
Mercury retrograde .~ ATAGEND
Its become a widely respected and feared planetary movement.
But Mercury retrograde is more of an inconvenience than anything else, and compared to the other retrogrades we have going on, this one wont seem so bad.
If youre not familiar with Mercury retrograde, this is the planet of communication.
There will be breakdowns in communication, misunderstandings, technological difficulties and travel delays.
Pretty much every part of our everyday life is affected, unless, of course, you live in the timbers with no WiFi.
The positive side of Mercury retrograde is, it gives us the opportunity to get in touch with old contacts, to edit, rethink and clarify our thoughts and to stimulate home improvements.
Pluto retrograde on April 20
Lets start with the bright side.
Pluto retrograde is a great time to remove toxic energy from your world, to discard old objects youd like to let go of and to cleanse your entire life of negative people, habits and notions that no longer serve you.
Having Saturn in retrograde will certainly help you with this.
Pluto is a planet of transformation, entailing we will all have to face our shadow self in order to usher some light into our lives.
Be aware of any situations where you might be projected your own unconscious luggage on to someone else, and get honest with yourself about it.
With Pluto being in retrograde for the next five months, you may feel this happening at a slow burn.
Youll probably come to terms with your own underlying motivations.
For instance, are you working out every day for your health, or are you doing it to graspon to a sense of control?
Are you working hard in your career for your own sense of self-esteem, or are you doing it to demonstrate something to your parents or some other authority figure?
This sounds dark, but its one of my favorite planets.
Pluto allows us to really dig deep and find out what is stimulating us tick.
By facing our demons, we are given the opportunity to purge them from our lives and purify ourselves, becoming more authentic every day.
1. Forget Folgers. The best part of waking up is getting off soon after opening your eyes. Why not remind yourself how awesomely pleasurable life can be the instant you rise? Sexuality is, quite simply, best style to start the day.
2. In addition to produce you happy by releasing feel good hormones like oxytocin in the brain, an orgasmgives you a boost of good energythe jolt you need to handle whatever looms ahead with a positive attitude.
3. An orgasm also reminds you that youre a living, breathing, sexual being. Youre not only an employee or a friend or a member of some squad. Youre a multi-dimensional individual withsex appeal among many other awesome qualities.
4. Theres a reason they call it climaxingyoure at your peak, literally.Gettingfrisky in the AMmakes you feel on top of the world, and then youcarry that confidence with you throughout the the rest of the day.
5. Intimacy isnt just good for youits good for your relationship, too. During sex, youre literally connected to your significant other, which results you to feel more attached to them on abiological level. After a morning romp, you get to go your separate routes knowing that your bond has been strengthened by way of naked play.
6. Tenderness and physical contact also inevitably stimulate people feel loved, and who doesnt appreciatea reminder that theyre loved before breakfast?
7. Morning sex isa solidway to feel like youve done your part in meeting yoursignificant other’ssexual requires, and actingin such a generous, thoughtful wayis the key to attracting goodvibes and to resulting a smiley life.
8. Plus, thatrise-and-shine O-face you trigger in yourpartner by mounting them first thing lets you check a criticalitem( ensure s/ os ongoing sex gratification) off yourneverending To Do list before you get out of bed. That impression of accomplishment will echo throughout the balance of yourday.
9. It also means that you and your partner leave the house feeling sexually fulfilled, and are thus least likely to fantasize about other people and/ or act on said fantasies.
10. Since youre both least likely to defraud, youre also route more likely to stay together forever. Yay!
11. By the time you get home after a long day, you dont have to worry about being too depleted to do itwhen you can frankly say youve already get busy.
12. Plus, your partner can’tbegrudge you for not being so into sex come nightfall when they know they can count on you for a morning hump sesh.
13. As it happens, sexuality, like most things, is generally better when youre fresh and well rested anyway.
What the actual fuck is happening to our compassion? I have noticed a slow leak over the past several months, but like whiplash to my heart, it has almost disappeared altogether overnight. Where has it run, and what can we do to bring it back ? I am a highly sensitive person( HSP) and empath- there is no wonder I am feeling the enormous weight of all the negativity I am insuring and reading. It is surrounding me, choking me. I woke up the morning after the global Womens March and couldn’t help but suppose- is this our new normal ?
Like an overnight sensation, peoples opinion on things and need to voice that belief seemed paramount over any type of compassionate understanding or healthy human conversation. With the absence of empathy, the criticizing and attacks, and deterioration of kindness in our media- especially the kind coming from the keyboards of many of my own friends- I am taking a break. I am taking a break from hate.
I vow not to involve myself or my terms in any thread that involves harmful or threatening confrontations.
Let me be clear I will not hide away, or stop sharing my journey on social media because I believe that love and kindness, compassion and humanity genuinely do subdue the repetitive dislike discourse thats blanketed this country but I also believe that those who remain in that negative narrative and space, and constantly share that with others, are not making any progress in their growth game and are actually constructing a digital wall of censure around themselves. And I refuse to be part of that .
Why is it so difficult to show compassion? Another question might be, why must people immediately jump to being so hurtful, deigning, to construct people feel inferior? The past few days, people can’t even peacefully protest on social media without feeling threatened. And by protest, I mean even make a statement that clearly wasnt written to invite argument or alternative truth.
Hell, the largest protest and rally in history, where more than 600 cities in this country, and millions and millions of people across the world came together sending messages of unity to defend human rights of all divisions and beliefs for many merely provoked rage and dislike as a response. In the most simplistic kind, the marchings were a beautiful reminder of what We the People can come together and do together- that We the People is not simply a preamble, but a collage of identities with a bodyof belief rising up From Sea to Shining Sea, went on to say that social justice and human rights will not be sacrificed or limited only to those who can afford them.
The message in my mind was pretty clear we have come too far and worked too hard for our rights to be taken away- and when rights are threatened( which is exactly what is happening ), rights that defend the color of our skin, protect the lady proportions between our legs, make public policies that prevent us from living in poverty, help people like me pay back student loans, allow for a diverse melting pot of amazing humans, or let mother earth to grow instead of deny climate change( just to name a few) when these are threatened we must rise up . If you disagree with me on anything that I post, please recollect there is absolutely no need to be entail and disrespectful, there is a difference between disagree and contempt. What I have watched, even by some who call me their friend is hate speech or use terms like rape, murder, fuck bitches, whiny newborns. Let me get this straight you think those words are going to win me over? You think those words are words that should be part of the current political disposition? You candidly believe that you sound intelligent by utilizing terms like that to defend your opinion ?
I cannot speak for anyone else, but what you are actually doing to me is frightening the shit out of me. I am profoundly moved by those that choose the high ground when communicating with one another, especially those with differing opinions, I love those humen so much but for those who have chosen to abandon compassion and kind behavior you scare me, and you have more than disrespected my voice as your friend – you have intersected a line.
I love you no matter your political opinion- but I will delete your comments and unfriend you if they are threatening to anyone or have an ulterior motive. If opinions alone insight so much intense disgust, then we have a problem- that’s not how this works. I don’t pressure or force-out my views on anyone- and I can be both conservative on many issues and also be a modern hippie at the same time- that is what being American is all about.
I know myself well enough to know what my limits are, what I am able to handle and emotionally espouse. I know that self-care must be a priority when you feel so connected to people, especially when my main purpose on social media is sharing my personal journey in order to inspire and lift onus on both sides.
When the burden becomes too heavy to carry however, it is time for a different approach- one that takes care of your sensitive heart, but that also allows you to remain strong enough to share your voice in what seems to be a climate of lost compassion .
I read this somewhere, forgive me for not remember, but whoever wrote it I want to be your friend. They wrote I give a fuck. I give lots of fucks, actually. I am basically a prostitute of feelings. Not only is this a big part of my truth as an empath, it reminds me that I wish people would wash their souls clean and start focusing on what rebuilds, restores and harmonizes with the very best that could come if we set all that energy into something other than what separates us. The only thing I have the energy to focus on isloveand what impacts myGrowth Game. Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity these days- So what do we do?
How do we cope when, for many of us, the world is one big emotional trigger- Answer: We wage the struggle by being our very best selves, rise above and crusade. So I focus on what heals me, what I considerself-careandtherapy, and allows me to bestrongenough to continue loving humanity no matter how ugly we get. I gettattooed, Ipaint, I write, Iroad cycle and operate, Ipuppy-love, Imentor, Idance, Icook, and I use the media as a platform for good, trying to show whatcompassionand healing looks like.
I embrace thediversityofhopeandresilienceacross any barrier. The weight of dislike is exhausting, and what’s worse is the constant chattering that surrounds it. Talk about love, talking here impactful advocacy, and be kind to each other. Use your voice to influence what’s hopeful, because our world is too focused on the things and people who want to take that voice away. Make your little world bubble impenetrable to anything but love .
If your affiliation isnt straight, if your shoes arent set on the rug by the door, if your
dishes are left on the counter by the sink, then you dont love her.
See, its always been about the little things .
The smallest gestures that indicate you love person. That say mutely and unconsciously, shes on your mind.
When you genuinely love person, it fills every pleat and cranny of your life. You think of that person, their desires, their wants and requires, and you become tuned into those things because they matter . .
You dont leave your dishes by the sink because it merely takes another minute to rinse them and put them in the dishwasher. You dont walk around the house with shoes on because you know she appreciates her freshly-vacuumed floors.
You put your tie-in on straight-out because that goes to show seemed in the mirror. That you wanted to make yourself presentable. That you thought of not only yourself, but of her, and desired to look your best, because shes yours and youre hers.
If your affiliation isnt straight, you dont love her.
Its not because youre lazy, or forgetful, or made a mistake. Its because you overlooked this little thing. Which constructs into bigger things, which abruptly becomes an attitude of nonchalance. Of indifference. Of falling out of love.
See, when your ties straight, you were purposeful. You were dedicated. You wanted things to be right, even the interesting thing. Because little things matter. Because you love her, and your appearance is a reflection of who you areyour happiness, your confidence, and your representation of two people , not only one.
It voices stupid, doesnt it? That a lopsided tie-in could abruptly landslide into something much bigger. But its the principle of it. The notion that you didnt look in the mirror. Didnt ask her to give you a once-over. Didnt lean into her for a good morning, a good afternoon, a goodnight kiss where she would have immediately pulled back, furrowed her eyebrows, and righted that off-kilter tie.
You didn’t think to involve her in this seemingly mundane part of their own lives. And it turns out, these moments actually matter more than you think .
Maybe its stupid, to proclaim that a affiliation matters so much.
But perhaps it isnt. Maybe modern-day love really is built on those little moments. Built upon the way we lean into each other, and the style we carry ourselves, indicate ourselves to the world, boldly proclaiming that And I’m proud to present it.