I Wish I Had Meant To You What You Meant To Me

25 days ago

I know I’m only twenty-one. I know we only met this year. I know you live incredibly far from me. But man, was I falling for you.

I was falling for you like I havent with anyone else before. And that means something. Especially when I consider myself the furthest thing from a romantic. We didnt have that long together, but if life could have continued in the same manner, I know I would have been a happy girl. For the first time I could see someone with me in the future. That someone was you.

I still think about you a lot. Clearly.

My mind will wander, eyes focusing on a place to stare, and I’m transported back to my favorite memories with you. Like the time we went to see during finals, or sat for hours talking and drinking bubble tea or when you ate dinner twice at my house, or I jumped on your back at the quarry. There were so many good ones in such a short period of time. Did this happen because we knew time was limited or because we actually, truly connected?I know my answer.

I also know I’m a little crazy. Heck I feel a little crazy saying all of this. So go ahead and call me that when I ask: Why didn’t we give us a fighting chance?

I can’t seem to figure out what’s more painful: having tried and eventually failed, or never having been worth the shot.

I know regardless of whether you tell me you’ve moved on or remain single, it will still be sore for me. I’ll always just be the girl you spent your last months of college with, nothing more. The girl who still has a stupid crush on you. The girl who keeps wondering ? The girl who remains hopeful even though she shouldnt. The girl you message here and there. The girl youll let know when you find her replacement

That one hurt.

Granted, I did bring it upon myself when I asked to know if you found someone new. I guess I just wanted the answer to be different. Silly, silly girl.

I must not have made a strong enough impression on you, left a deep enough mark, or been the only one capable of making your heart content.

I know I like you more than you like me. I know this because Ive said it to you before and you don’t contradict me. I tell you I will be the one to get hurt. You don’t argue with that either. I was the one to speak first about serious things. I was the only one to bring them up actually. I was the one to give you my feelings, all exposed. I was the fearless one. I was the one who wanted more.But I know Ill never get more from you.

I wish you would have wanted to stay with me despite the odds against us. I wish I had fought for us. I wish I had meant enough to you. I know you meant more than enough to me. But no matter what I know to be true it doesn’t change where we are now. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m replaceable to you. It doesn’t change the fact that everything I hope you’re going to say to me you never do. It doesn’t change the fact that I think I may have loved you.

Yeah, love.

All this I know.

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Read This If Everyone Has A Boyfriend But You

27 days ago

When everyone has a boyfriend but you, you feel lonely. And not the kind of loneliness that you get from living alone, or choosing to stay in on a Friday, or going to a coffee shop for some quiet reading. Its the loneliness that feels like a contagious disease. Like if someone were to step near you, they would get infected with the toxic air that’s coming off your open wound. But its invisible air from an invisible wound. Because when everyone has a boyfriend but you, you feel hidden. They see your freedom, while meanwhile you see a cage. Forced into isolation so no one else catches your plague.

When everyone else has a boyfriend, you’re forced to focus on yourself most days and nights. And the focus can lead to scrutiny. And the scrutiny can lead to plain over-exaggeration of your faults and weaknesses. But no matter how many times you tell yourself it isn’t true, all that matters is that it feels true. You’re the one that got left behind. You’re the one that ended up alone. It’s easy to draw scientific conclusions from your failed experiments. You were not enough. You were the one who had to take time to learn and grow. You were the one that had things to figure out alone. Therefore you were the root of the problem. No wonder everyone left.

When everyone has a boyfriend but you, you wonder how it’s possible for two people to consciously engage in dating/courtship/love/marriage. You wonder how two people can objectively look at their lives and say, Yes, I’d like to make space for you. You see the chance of someone making space for you like a hopeless ideal. Something that simply wont happen. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to even meet someone you can settle for. You hope someone will settle for you the way the others didn’t. They couldn’t even settle for you.

When everyone has a boyfriend but you, you spend countless nights reliving all the memories from when you weren’t this alone. You think, I’ll be happy once someone loves me again. You know thats not true, but it feels that way. And isnt that all that matters? How it feels?

When everyone has a boyfriend but you, you dont run to your phone the second a yoga class is done to see if he finally returned your text. You dont stare at the screen on Saturday nights, wondering if he will actually text you when he gets home from the night out you weren’t invited to. You dont think twice about that photo you want to share. You dont plan your nights based on when he is free. You dont have to make conditional plans with your friends. I think Im free Thursday, let me check and get back to you.

AKA Let me see if my boyfriend is free, because if I dont make time for us, he certainly wont.

When everyone has a boyfriend but you, you dont have to worry about the implications of still splitting the holidays. You dont have to deal with the questions from friends about who is spending Thanksgiving where. You get to spend Thanksgiving with your family, and you dont have to feel guilty or ashamed or compromised.

When everyone has a boyfriend but you, you struggle to fall asleep. But when you do fall asleep, you stay soundly asleep. Because you are where you are supposed to be. Doing what you want to be doing. You always get to do what you want, whenever you want to do it.

When everyone has a boyfriend but you, you breathe a little easier. When everyone has a boyfriend but you, the sad reality is, you probably cry less. Because nothing is quite as painful as being completely alone while you hold hands with a hollow ghost. Nothing is as painful as fighting and struggling for real love, while love stares you in the face and lets you drown. Nothing is as painful as screaming silently, while you force yourself to numb how you are feeling, in hopes that it will make him stay.

When everyone else has a boyfriend but you, you learn to cherish the moments of sadness. Because youre making space for something else. Someone else. Someone that will do more than stand next to you. They will BE next to you. They will hold a space for you. Because not everyone that stands next to you will fully be there. And all the nights of loneliness will teach you what it feels like to just be. To just be here. To be here now. To be you. To stop numbing. To stop filling your space with someone that just numbs you. Because nothing is as painful as the moment you realize youve been dimming yourself – when you know you are capable of so much light.

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16 People On The Biggest Mistake You Can Construct When Preferring Your Forever Person

29 days ago

1 .

Thinking they can change that person into someone else or in some other significant way.

2 .

Listening to your SO when they said ” I’m not really like this, I’m just really emphasized right now due to grad school, moving, etc .”. Turns out they really were that anxious, neurotic, emphasized, depressed, and negative even in the best of circumstances.

3 .

Staying with someone they’re not happy with because they’re too afraid to be alone.

4 .

I asked this question of my therapist who also does marriage counseling.

She said that the most common pitfall she sees is people falling for” opposites attract .” She said, in the beginning, people marry someone different from them because they see it as a positive. In her experience, those unions will last for a while and then eventually the couple can’t stand each other because of those same differences. So, she told me some fluctuation is plainly good but the most successful weddings she’s seen are the ones where the people were as similar as possible.

Anyway, I’ve never been married, but that was her take on it after 20 years working in the field.

5 .

Some people marry the “best” partner they can get- on paper, the best seeming, smartest, most talented, etc- rather than the most compatible. Rookie mistake, but a common one.

6 .

Marrying a profession: a lawyer, physician, pilot, Enterpreneur etc instead of the person.

7 .

Kids. Agree on the damn kids.

If she wants children and you don’t( or vice versa ), opportunities are it’s going to come up afterwards and bite you really hard in the ass, maybe even aiming the relationship. Get that shit straightened out early on.

8 .

Having a single” bargain breaker” and assuming anyone who passes that test is good enough. I married a woman solely because she didn’t want children and I didn’t think I’d find another one. We didn’t even make it 4 years.

9 .

Waiting for love and refusing to let love happen

Ill explain, most people i am familiar with are waiting to meet person and be slapped in the face by this sense of love and walking on clouds

This is a mistake, too often this leads to someone who you realize is awful after the new wears off

That isn’t love, you aren’t thinking with your heart, you are thinking with your hormones

Instead, fond someone you like, who treats you how you would want to be treated, who is worthy of being in a relationship, and work on that friendship to see if love will grow, i’m not saying to date them, bang them and marry them, i’m saying spend time with them, see if you are compatible and run from there

Everyone has this closed mindset of” this is my type and i will merely date this type” but if your form is toxic or isn’t working, maybe try dating outside the box

10 .

Hiding your true faith from them until after the honeymoon phase. Be upfront from the word go, and if they bolt, it just wasn’t meant to be.

11 .

Settling for looks at the expense of a great personality, morals, or whatever traits people have.

Looks don’t last forever.

12 .

Marrying for love and love alone.

People are always horrified when I say this, but marriage is a business arrangement in a lot of ways. You’re giving someone half your stuff; better induce damn sure that you can trust them with it.

Like 90% of life isn’t fun. It’s about coordinating chores, dealing with finances, caring for children and running. Being is awesome, but it won’t pay the bills. You’ve got to be able to communicate effectively, to trust one another and to work together towards a common goal. It’s more like the relationship between business partners than the relationship between lovers. I’ve loved people to pieces and ended up breaking things off because the bearing stuff wasn’t quite right.

If you can only have fun on dates, don’t get married. If you are able to have fun running grocery shopping or doing laundry, you’ve got a good shot.

13 .

Settling for someone they don’t love entirely because they don’t think they’ll be able to find anyone better.

14 .

Ignoring possible addiction issues.

15 .

I have girlfriends, and honestly myself included, that have been through such god nasties relationships that they settle for someone as long as they’re “nice enough”.

My sister is currently the victim of this, she went through a slew of dating asshats and is now with her bf who is nice, but honestly the polar opposite of her in so many routes. I find her compromising a lot of what she previously wanted out of life merely because she” knows he’ll never cheat on me and is nice “. WTF. That’s a bare minimum requirement for dating person, is them not being an asshole , not their selling point. Know your worth dames and gentleman.

16 .

Never choose someone just based on income or appears alone. My mom has been looking for a super handsome rich guy for over 15 years and they are all assholes.

Just pick someone who induces you happy and will be there for you when you need it. Person you want to expend all your time with. Money doesn’t matter and looks fade. Its the heart that matters.

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When You Can’t Let Go Of Someone Who Is Not Good For You

1 month, 6 days ago

Being in love makes even idiot noise sound good. You know what it sounds like. When you realize someone you care about is feeding you bullshit, but you still want them around- thats when you know youre in trouble. One person has you in their grip. You become in awe of them, and then suddenly everything that comes out of their mouth is gold.

Goddamn, get it together.

I found out this fact only recently: You can get lost in someone’s eyes, and then you forget what real life is. And for the first time your whole damn life, you feel special. Its like the two of you are in on something that no one else could understand. In the beginning, I ventured cautiously into his eyes for a quick swim, but now I am drowning in them. I want to savor everything. I want to fall into him.

Sometimes he looks at me and he just looks shocked, like he can’t believe that Im real and Im there holding his hand. I always hold his gaze, I always look back when he looks at me in that way. He used to need me all the time, but now it seems he walks in and out of my life whenever he pleases.

It’s like we fit so well together, but something is holding both of us back. Something inside each of us can’t help but continually hurt the other. I don’t know why he always comes back to me and I don’t know why it always ends up like this again somehow.

It was when I was sitting on the edge of his bed over a year ago, listening to the gentle rise and fall of his breath as he slept, that the sensation came over me: Something is wrong with this picture. Something is wrong in this room. Now I think Ive figured it out. Some element of sorrow in him connects with some element of sorrow in me, but that’s all it is: sorrow. We hold each other like it’s the end of the world but we’re the ones destroying it. When he pushes me away, he pushes hard; and when I fall for him, I fall hard.

I drove past his old apartment the other day for the first time in months, and it felt like nothing had changed, like we were still together. It all felt so familiar, like I was visiting an old friend, not a torn piece of a past life. Memories came flooding back with every turn of the steering wheel. And he felt so present, so tangible in those moments, like I could just reach out to him like old times. But there were someone else’s lights in his window.

I used to think, But I didnt care. Going weeks without speaking was worth it because I knew when I saw him again, our reunion would be that much sweeter. So Id been savoring the blessed, twisted torture, the good and bad, the feeling of fingertips on skin, the passionate mingling of lips, and the burning electricity that ignited every time as green gaze tumbled into blue. Id been holding onto him right up until this very moment, sitting in his bedroom, when I see her name light up on his phone.

Some piece of me will always be in love with him. It hurts to think I can have such intense feelings for someone who cant stop disappointing me.

And it sure is nice to think that while I was reliving memories of his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, to help me fall asleep, he was in his apartment f*cking her. Sure makes me feel good that while I was dreaming of his green eyes and the way they look at me, he was dreaming of her lips and her sumptuous breasts and velvety vagina, some things which I guess were never good enough on me.

His phone sits there between us on the bed. In his dimly lit bedroom, his eyes now look like shallow pools of poison, poison Ive lapping up like honey. I walk away from him and his phone and her name. I choose not to hear his protests and excuses. I get in my car and drive to Liam’s house. In the morning I kiss him, hard. He is very willing to touch me, but when he does I feel nothing.

He pulls back and looks at me and smiles, a little too smugly. What was that for?

I look into eyes that are not green. “I’m sorry, my heart is broken.”

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Here’s What Kind Of Girlfriend You Are, Based On Your Birth Order

1 month, 23 days ago

First Born

Girls who are the oldest in their family are the girlfriends who just want to take care of you. Their maternal instinct can never be tamed so they always want to make sure you’re in a good spot, have enough to eat, don’t need help with anything…pretty much anything that could fall under the caretaker role. They are the classic,” text me when you get home !” girlfriend the one is who always going to put you ahead of herself.

Oldest children do have a reputation for being controlling, and so the girl who is the oldest sibling is likely going to be on the more type A aim of the spectrum. Believe of it as less bossy, and more particular. Will there be arguments because the laundry wasn’t put away correctly? Perhaps. But thebenefit tobeing an oldest child is she’slearned how to negotiate. So arguments very quickly become “dialogues” or “discussions” and rarely spin out of control and become anactual fight.

Somewhere In The Middle

Middle children have grown up with people on either side of them who were also vying for attention, so dating a middle child entails she’s going to want a lot of reassurance. She has a tendency to lean a little towards the jealousy side not because she’s paranoid or thinks her S.O. is doing anything that would WARRANT jealousy. Her jealousy mostly stems from wanting to be the center of attention( for a change) and be someone’s number one.

Because of her inclination to attention seek, the middle child girlfriend is absolutely a people pleaser. She always wants to construct her partnerhappy to make sure what’s being said about her is actually positive and affirms her place as their favorite. She wants to be the person who arbitrarily comes to mind and attains whoever is thinking of her smile. That is a best occurrence scenario for a middle child.

Youngest

Babies are the family favorite, and theyre used to being treated as such. Often theyre various kinds of spoiled and used to beingwell A girl who is the youngest in their own families is likely going to be a pretty high-maintenance girlfriend. Youngest children have grown accustomed to a certain level of cushiness to their lifestyle and its not one that theyll very easily give up. Theyre the girlfriends who will ask you take out the junk because their nails are wet, or change the channel since they are dont want to get up.

But youll never have as much fun with a girlfriend as you will with a youngest child. That youthful energy never quite leaves them and theyll always be down for something fun and adventurous. A girlfriend who’s the youngest will bring out your inner child like no one else can.

Twin

You know that saying,” I’m with my best friend ,” that people say about their significant other? That will realistically never apply with a twin. Twins are best friends and have a bond that cannot be replicated or even understood by someone who is NOT a twin. So a girl who is a twin has to find a relationship that’s different with her partner, but equally as special. Sometimes she will unintentionallymake her S.O. feel like they’re in the shadow of something they have no way of competing with. So it’s definitely a challenge she has to master to not end up being a girlfriend who doesn’t devote enough love and attention to her partner.

But a girlfriend who is a twin is not just a challenge because she comes with a built in, never going anywhere bestie. She’s incredibly competitive, due to having to essentially compete with herself literally since birth. This makes her headstrong, stubborn, and a girl who never gives up. She’s a girlfriend who you’ll constantly have to chase and keep up with, or else you’ll get left behind.

Only Child

Only children are various kinds of weird little anomalies. They grow up more quickly than their peers, but also need a lot more alone time than most. It takes an only child a while before they find someone they genuinely want to settle down with, since they are do tend to be a little flaky while simultaneously defining actually high standards for themselves.

But once a girl who is an only child is committed to you, she’s FULLY perpetrated. She will be the most attentive, invested girlfriend you’ve ever had. Merely children are often a little OCD and get hyper-excited/ obsessed with things, and this will utterly translate into how much they show that they care about their significant other. Every now and then she’ll need alone time to recharge and be herself, but her’ person’ is perfectly on her intellect no matter where she is.

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I’m Grateful Even Though I Lost You, Because Now I Know That My Heart Can Love

2 months, 21 days ago

My best friend told me you were my punishment for being a cold hearted bitch for so many years. And the thing is, I can’t contradict her. She’s right, nobody has ever melted my ice heart before.

That’s just how I am it happens so rarely that someone catches my eye. I am beyond picky. I have never fallen in love, because the butterflies from my stomach, the ones that only make their appearance once in a blue moon, always fly away so quickly. I thought that maybe something was wrong with me, with how my brain was wired, that maybe I’m just not capable of having more than platonic feelings and superficial crushes. I couldn’t understand why I acted this way, why I got bored with every single guy I dated, even though I liked them in the beginning. I wished I was different, I wished I could fall blindly in love like everyone else around me did. But no matter how much I loved the idea of love, it just wasn’t working out for me. I couldn’t force my feelings, no matter how much I tried. My eyes always saw all too clearly every imperfection, everything that just didn’t fit.

Getting guys’ attention was never a problem. But the more attention they gave me, the more I receded back into my shell. The more they praised my beauty and declared to me their eternal love, the more I realized how shallow they were because they “fell in love” with how I looked, without even trying to get to know who I am. I got used to being single, on my own for so many years. I was a cold hearted ice queen and I was okay with it. I didn’t need anyone. But I wanted someone by my side. I wanted someone that could read me, because no one else could. I wanted a friend and a companion.

And then you appeared in my life.

The irony of life to fall in love with the only guy you can’t have a future with. The irony to fall madly, blindly, stupidly in love exactly when you don’t want to.

You made me feel things I’ve never felt before, you made me so happy. You made me feel loved. When you were with me, you calmed me down, all the background static from my mind stopped. For the first time I felt like someone instinctively understood what I wanted. But you also hurt me like no one did before. I felt such an excruciating pain when you gave up on us. I could feel it in my chest, in my stomach, in my throat. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t stop my tears. I’ve never imagined a heartbreak could physically hurt so much. The thought that I lost you forever was unbearable.

I am no longer angry now, I am no longer hurt. I forgave you and I forgave myself. My tears have dried out and my heart is forever scarred, but I’ll wear the stains you left on my soul proudly. I know what we had was real, I know we were crazy about each other. We were two fools, two perfect strangers falling more and more in love while rambling the narrow streets of my city. A few too short weeks of white nights of naked conversations and an eternity of pain of being away from you. That’s what we had and it was enough.

I know it’s over now, I know I lost you, but last summer, with you, will always be one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

The beautiful moments that we shared, I have that forever and nobody can take them away from me. I am so grateful that I got the chance to meet you. You’ve warmed up my soul, you showed my heart how to love. I have never had such strong feelings for anyone else and it frightened me. My fears paralyzed me, they made me distrustful and I made so many stupid mistakes. I am so sorry. Please forgive me if I let you down. I’m only human, I didn’t know any better. But I was crazy about you. I don’t know what you did to me, but you crept into my soul so quickly, so unnoticeably.

I no longer have regrets. I understand that things needed to happen this way. I wouldn’t changeone single chapter in our story.I needed to lose you to fully appreciate the time we had together.I needed to lose you to realize how much I wanted you. Because I couldn’t admit it to myself. I was foolish and selfish, I made so many mistakes, but I needed to learn my lessons. I needed to learn to trust my heart. I am sorry I couldn’t fight for us. You didn’t even give me the chance. But that’s okay, I understand. I still miss you like crazy but Iwant you to be happy and I don’t want you to feel like you’re missing out on life. Neitherof us deserves that. So, I’m letting you go. And I’m letting myself go, free to live my life, without you.

I know now that there wasn’t anything wrong with me; I just hadn’t found the right guy yet. I know now that I fall for the sweet, honest guys. I liked you so much because you were so optimistic about life and you had a kind heart. You were smart, humble and funny. I felt like I could be myself around you. I never got bored of you. I don’t regret anything that happened between us and I am so grateful to have met you, because now I know that my heart can love. You taughtme how. Thank you. Thank you for being my sweet punishment.

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The science behind the spark: How data factors into compatibility

3 months, 26 days ago

Image: pixabay

In 2017, observing a life partner one who will stay where you are you through thick and thin, who shares your core belief and whose side-of-the-bed preference was complemented by your own seems to be more about “love at first swipe” than “love at first sight.” With the rise of apps and online dating services, there are more technologically advanced alternatives than ever before for procuring that special person.

Love is increasingly a game of numbers in our data-driven world. According to a recent study by eHarmony Australia, over two-thirds of Aussie singles have a “suite” of people with whom they’re romantically involved to some degree( “talking to, ” dating or just maintaining on the back burner ). In fact, the average single Aussie has 6.9 people they’re currently involved with in some kind of romantic capability.

These numbers may seem daunting. How is it possible to find The One in this confounding dating scenery, where ghosting is the norm and you’re likely one of about seven people your latest love interest is texting?

But numbers can also be your comrade in the dating game.

The love enzyme: The Spark

The “spark” is an oft-used word for the high that accompanies a burgeoning relationship. But what, exactly, is it?

According to this TED-Ed video, all five of your senses play a role when it is necessary to physical attraction. Sight is the most obvious, though the perception of visual beauty can change dramatically once someone starts talking, calling its importance into question when stacked against what the other senses are deciphering as you assess a new acquaintance.

More and more, however, attraction is being defined by the way someone attains you feel, and that is driven by how two people spark off each other. It can be that undefined reason why you instinctively flirt with person or persons and not another. What a person says, their tone and body language contribute far more to that inexplicable feeling than physical beauty alone.

According to eHarmonys survey of over one thousand Australian singles, the three ingredients for the spark include: Easy flowing of conversation, how much the person or persons stimulates you laugh and how quickly you feel at ease around them. And the spark is generally evident relatively early on: Fifty percent of Australian singles expect sparks to fly by the end of the first date, and only 12% believe it’s something that can develop over hour.

The love superfood: Compatibility

It is commonly said that opposites attract, but the data says otherwise. Those differences that initially arouse us can eventually make tension and misunderstandings in relationships. Long word happiness seem to be bloom when there is more similarity. Basically opposites attract and then assault, so determining person that is compatible is more important than you may have first believe. eHarmony has defined 29 dimensions that can help you find partners with whom you’re truly compatible, through methods driven by hundreds of thousands of longitudinal analyses of couples globally. From physicality to emotional energy, there are literally dozens of factors that come into play to turn those first tentative “nice to meet you”s into “I do”s.

There are six key segments: Emotional temperament, social style, cognitive mode, physicality, relationship skills, and values and beliefs. From there, it gets more granular. Relationship skills, for example, delves into factors such as communication style( how a person verbalizes her or her thoughts and feelings ), emotion management( how a person reacts to anger or fluctuations in mood) and conflict resolution( how a person treats showdown ).

We know, we are aware: Data analysis doesnt sound particularly sexy. But when it comes to finding the person youll expend the rest of your days with, isnt it reassuring to have science on your side? If you’re ready to find true compatibility instead of navigating a world of seemingly endless swiping, visit eHarmony today and let the sparks fly.

Watch next: This app lets you send real kisses to your long-distance lover

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Tinder Couple Finally Gets Acquainted After 3 Years – Video

4 months, 28 days ago

They’re fairly cute together right?

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10 Tiny Signs You’re In A’ Good’ Relationship

5 months, 20 days ago

” My parents had a very good relationship ,” I often hear my clients say.

” What do you entail by good ?” I ask.

” They didn’t fighting. They spent a lot of hour with each other .”

That may have been the definition of good relations years ago, but now most people want more. Following are ten signs of a healthy relationship.

Kindness

Is kindness more important to each of you than having your style, being in control, or being right? Do you each receive pleasure out of being kind to one another? Being kind rather than controlling with each other is essential for a healthy relationship.

Spontaneous Warmth and Affection

Do you and your partner well up with warmth and fullness of heart for each other and convey it with affection? Are you each able to see the beautiful essence within one another, rather than just the faultings? Are you be permitted to get beyond the outer to the unique inner Self of each other? Do you enjoy sharing affection? Warmth and affection are vital for a healthy relationship.

Laughter and Fun

Can the two of you laugh and play together? Do you appreciate and enjoy each other’s sense of humor? In the midst of difficulties, can you help each other to lighten up with humor? Can you let down and be playful with one another, letting yourselves is just like kids together? Laughter and fun play a huge role in a healthy relationship.

Enjoying Time Together and Time Apart

Are you both each other’s favorite person to spend time with? Are you motivated to set aside hour only to be together?

Do both of you have friends and interests that you enjoy doing? Are both of you penalty when you are not together?

Some couples spend a lot of time together since they are really loved it, while others spend a lot of time together out of dread of left alone. It is important for a healthy relationship for each person to have friends and interests, so that they are not dependent on one another. Dependency is not healthy in a relationship, particularly emotional dependency.

A Method for Conflict Resolution

All relationships have some conflict. It is not existing conflicts that is the question, but how you deal with it. Do you have a method for resolving conflict, or do the issues merely maintain get swept aside? If opposing is part of how you deal with conflict, do you fight fair, or are you hurtful when you fight?

Letting Go Of Anger

If one or both of you get angry, do you hang on to it, penalise your partner with it, or can you easily let it go? In healthy relationships, both partners are able to quickly move on, back into kindness and affection. Practising the Inner Bonding process is a powerful way of letting run of fury and blamed and moving back in kindness.

Trust in Your Love for Each Other

Do you each trust that the love is solid, even in very difficult times between you? Do you each know that you can mess up, fail, disappoint the other, emotionally hurt the other- and the love will still be there? Do you each know that the love is about who you are , not what you do? This level of trust is essential for a healthy relationship.

Listening, Understanding, Accepting and Learning

Do you each feel heard, understood and accepted? Can you share your secrets with your partner without dreading being judged? Are you each more interested in learning about yourselves and each other than you are in controlling one another? Is listening to each other with an open heart and a desire to understand more important than judging each other or defending yourselves?

Sexuality

Is your sexual relationship warm and caring? Can you be sexually spontaneous? Can you talk with one another about what brings pleasure to each of you?

Freedom to be Yourself

Do you each feel free to be all that you are? Do you each feel supported in pursuing what brings you pleasure? Does your partner feel joy for your joy?

While some people may naturally be open, kind, affectionate, accepting, and emotionally responsible for themselves, most people need to mended the fears and false beliefs they learned in their families. Healthy relationships evolve as each person evolves in his or her ability to be caring to themselves and each other.

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9 Things People Wrongly Assume When You’re An Optimistic Person

6 months, 8 days ago
1. That you’re just nave to how the world runs .

Clearly you merely don’t yet, right? Your cheery disposition means you’re young to how things happen and, in time, you’ll learn the truth. Um, or perhaps you DO know and BECAUSE of that you’ve decided to look at things glass half-full. People will accuse you of wearing rose-colored glass, but perhaps they’re just jealous that they don’t have a pair.

2. That you’ve never experienced loss or trauma .

You just haven’t really been through anything.
-_- Puhleaseeee. Ignore that idiotic bull. You can suffer extreme loss and still maintain a positive attitude. Some people merely do. And it’s never something to feel shamed for. Keep on glistening. We could all use a solid flashlight to wade through the dark.

3. That you’re “faking” it .

No one is like that. You’re just trying to impress someone, or pulling this fakey-nice-nice veil to get away with something else. God forbid you’re just different kinds person who believes in the very best, even if you’ve seen your fair share of the opposite.

4. That you don’t have any real problems .

Some of the strongest people I’ve known aren’t exactly the people you’d assumes have triumphed against terrible odds. The goofy ones. The class jester, looking at silver linings when everyone can only watch clouds. The human spirit of survival seems different for everyone. Maybe this mentality is how they carry onward. Don’t judge.

5. That you’ve never experienced depression .

Everyone gets sad. No one is disputing that. But depression is something most varied. Whether it’s chronic or situational, depression can hit anyone. It doesn’t pick and choose based on how smiley person seems, or if appeared as though they walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders. Depression doesn’t solely exist in pessimists( you can be a pessimist and never struggle with depression ), and it doesn’t skip over all the optimists. It can hit anyone, any time.

6. Or anxiety .

Same can be said with nervousnes. We all release a little cortisol( the main stress hormone) from time to time. But chronic nervousnes ailments don’t only show up in visibly Woody Allen-level neurotic people. Some people are very talented at covering up what’s really going on inside. You never genuinely know. Unless you know. Ya know?

7. That you’re always happy .

You’re human, so…no. You aren’t always happy. Because you aren’t a weird robot ??? Optimists can( and do) have off-days.

8. That you’ve always got the right thing to say.

Just because you try to stay positive in situations doesn’t mean you aren’t just as lost as everyone else. You love being there for the person or persons you care about, and giving advice when you can, but that doesn’t mean you’ve got words of wisdom for every situation. All you can promise is that you’ll listen and love. And that’s really what matters.

9. That you can’t be logical.

There’s this terrible idea that people who are excited about life, those who look at the world like it’s full of greatness( even if they know the bad shit also exists) are somehow not logical beings. They function based on feeling and feeling merely. Nope. Not true. They are just as intelligent and able to think things through as their “realistic” comrades, they just do so with a said he hoped that things will work out for the very best. And candidly? We all need those individuals in our lives.

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