Katy Perry’s Christian mothers find her cherry pie hard to swallow30 days ago
The innuendo-laden lyrics of the singers recent make, Bon Apptit, have left her devout mum and dad impression queasy
Katy Perry has revealed that she and her devout Christian parents have to agree to disagree over the lyrics to some of her sungs, including her innuendo-riddled recent reach Bon Apptit. In the video, Perry is served up as a dinner, with all the delicacy of a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals ad from the 1990 s, until she rises up against her male oppressors and takes retaliation by pole-dancing in front of them.
The song uses a series of culinary metaphors to describe what is on Perrys menu. She claims to be a five-star Michelin who is spread like a buffet. Presumably she is not talking about the kind of buffet Lost in Showbiz grew up with in the north more prawn cocktail vol-au-vents and pineapple and cheese on cocktail sticks than the part of Perrys body that she calls the worlds best cherry pie. And that is to say nothing of the practicalities of serving a whole tart at a buffet, when every caterer knows that individual mini-pies are preferable. She taunted the release of the way in April by tweeting a recipe for the worlds best cherry pie and asking fans to cook it for her. What she entailed by cherry pie wasnt wholly clear until Bon Apptit was released afterwards, which in hindsight stimulates the stunt a little less appetising.
The excitable acid-blond vocalist told the Australian radio prove Smallzys Surgery that, shockingly, her pastor parents did not inevitably approve of the internationally successful call to enjoy her cherry pie. We agree to disagree but still with loving space, she told Smallzy. We all come from different places you can have your faith system , nobody is telling you not to believe your beliefs but you can also come from a place of love.
It is not the first time Perry has discussed the clash between her line of work and her parents religious beliefs. She told Vogue that she was taken to picket Marilyn Manson and Madonna concerts when she was younger, and when she spoke at the Human Rights Campaign Gala earlier this year she described herself as a gospel-singing girl raised in youth camps that were pro-conversion camps. Having gone from picket lines to savor other dames cherry chapsticks, to offering her own cherry pie for intake, one thing is clear: if Perry ever offers you fruit, do check if its a metaphor first.
Read more: www.theguardian.com
WD-4 0 and microwaved tampons: secrets of food photography exposed1 month, 17 days ago
Its the job of a food stylist to induce products look delicious on camera even if the makeover leaves the dinner inedible. Six stylists tell us their tricks
Behind most professional food photos is a stylist who tricks the spectator. These deceits range from a touch of lipstick to redden a strawberry, to milkshakes made from mashed potatoes. Its not that food stylists are liars and defrauds. Theyre simply in the business of improvisation.
Throughout the 10 hours it takes, on average, to complete a photo shoot, stylists are expected to solve any dedicated crisis on the spot. No tzatziki on set? Make do with the mayonnaise or whipped cream in the refrigerator. A client wants that turkey skin to seem a bit more red? Better have food coloring on hand.
When shooting, you cant stop and say: Hey, ugh, I forgot this, explains Denise Stillman, an Orange County-based food stylist whos been in the business for 26 years. You only have to make sure you[ bring enough materials on set to] covering all your basis and then[ ask yourself ], What else can go wrong?
But not everything is faked. The product the advertiser is trying to sell is often featured, explains Stillman. When, for example, she shoots an ad for Breyers, she shoots the real ice cream. But if shes styling Gay Lea Foods whipped cream, the ice cream it rests atop can be made of anything so long as it seems delicious.
Whether shooting a television commercial or print advertisement, a food stylists goal is often to emphasize food ingredients natural beauty.
Im like hair and makeup for food, says Charlotte Omnes, a stylist are stationed in New York. When you watch models walk down the runway, they dont look like that. But after they come out of makeup, youre like, Wow.
If you want your Instagram food photos to resemble Bon Appetit coverings, weve collected some pro tips-off that will help. Six food stylists served us their secrets on how to attain common dishes look ready for their close-ups.
Enchiladas: mashed potatoes give the appearance of bulk
Mexican food is not the most photogenic. No one knows this better than Kim Krejca, a Phoenix-based stylist who works with a lot of south-western cuisine. Enchiladas with sauce hemorrhaging into the beans[ are] not very visually pleasant, she says. You have to modify that but still be true to the food.
To give the enchiladas the appearance of bulkiness( as considered above ), she stuffed them with instant mashed potatoes, a stylists go-to filling because they are easy to make and mold. Then Krejca added meat and veggies to the ends where the tortillas open up. To finish the dish, she used a hot handgun to build the cheese melts perfectly on top.
Tacos: cosmetic sponges keep the shells open
In real life, tacos are a delicious mess. To stimulate them presentable on camera, Krejca glued two tortillas together and placed cosmetic sponges behind the meat to keep the shells open. For dark and juicy-looking beef, she painted the pieces with a brown sauce called Kitchen Bouquet, made of water and food coloring. Krejca then sprayed the fill with WD-4 0, her secret weapon to attain Mexican food glisten. Stillman uses red pepper in place of diced tomatoes for a more vibrant coloring and pours corn syrup on beans so they look moist and fresh.
Cereal: mens hair products and sunscreen make a perfect milk
This may ruin your craving, but the milk used in cereal photos is usually fake. Since the real stuff quickly constructs cornflakes seem soggy, food stylists have come up with alternatives. In this photo, Wisconsin-based Tamara Kaufman used Wildroot, a white hair cream for men with a sunscreen lotion-like consistency that many stylists covet. Krejca favor the old-school method of white glue, which photographs just like the real deal. When pros do use actual milk, its merely a very small amount. According to Michelle Rabin, a Toronto-based food stylist, you can place the most beautiful pieces of cereal in a bowl filled with vegetable shorten and cover it with a thin layer of milk. The abbreviating defies the liquid and it looks like the whole bowl is filled with knolls of cereal, she says. The pieces will stay fairly crisp for a long time.
Coffee: watered down soy sauce and gelatin give a smooth look
Black coffee is hard to work with because of its oily sheen. In a latte or cappuccino, the foam will speedily evaporate. In this photo, Omnes used a combination of Kitchen Bouquet, water and gelatin to give the coffee a smooth seem. In a pinch, Rabin has used watered-down soy sauce and once had to improvise with cream and gravy browner on the situated of a popular Canadian brand. I see that billboard I worked on and Im like: Thats funny, because thats not a coffee, she says. Kaufman uses the real deal when possible, but adds fells of soapy water around the perimeter with an eyedropper to simulate fresh brew. The froth, stylists say, is often made from piped soap foam.
Turkey: it may be raw and bloody inside, but the skin looks good
Every home chef knows its hard to make a bird crispy on the outside and moist on the inside. Fortunately, food stylists only have to focus on aesthetics, which means they never fully cook one. It is important not to overcook them so the skin stays looking moist, plump and juicy, says Omnes. These are visual cues that build your mouth water when you look at it. New-York based stylist Brian Preston-Campbell says he often roasts five or six turkeys for a few hours each to get that perfect hero bird. Its still raw and kind of bloody inside, he says. Its kind of nasty but its about the end product in the photo.
In this shot, Omnes pinned down the turkey skin so it wouldnt tear in the oven. She lined the pan and stuffed the bird with a water-soaked paper towel so it would steam instead of turning crispy. To achieve that brown, glistening seem, she brushed the turkey with a mix of water, Kitchen Bouquet and dish soap.
Ice cream or whipped cream: abbreviate, corn syrup and frosting
If ice cream were a human model, she would be a diva. The dessert is hard to mold, and if youre not styling in a refrigerated space, melts promptly. To avoid the headache, experts often turn to other ingredients. To create the ice cream on the left, Omnes mixed frosting with icing sugar( the cone on the right is the real bargain ), but the most common fake ice cream recipe is a combination of vegetable shortening, powdered sugar and corn syrup.
For other milky desserts, stylists have many hacks. For a dollop of whipped cream, Omnes use a non-dairy creamer that does not wilt or weep. Kaufman favor Barbasol shaving cream but notes: The woman who mistakenly tried a bite was not pleased. For milkshakes, Stillman employs sour cream because its thick and easy to swirl.
Drinks: that frosty glass? Its spray-on deodorant
Stylists dont waste real liquor unless the ad is for alcohol. To induce cocktails, Omnes mixes food coloring in water, a trick Kaufman also uses to create chardonnays from diluted Kitchen Bouquet. In truth, the liquid itself is the sideshow. The most important part about cocktails are the visual cues, says Omnes cues such as ice, fizz, bubbles and froth. They[ make the drink] appear refreshing.
For frozen beverages like margaritas and daiquiris, the pros rely on ice powder, bits of gelatin that look like crushed ice when mixed with liquid. They also use fake plastic or acrylic ice cubes, which dont melt under the hot camera illuminations and vaseline on the rim of margaritas. To create frost, Stillman coats a beer mug with spray-on deodorant and uses a mixture of Scotchguard and glycerin to make soft drink look icy cold with beads of condensation. What a fus it would be otherwise, says Stillman. This style, you can choose the level of wetness on the glass.
Steamy pasta: incense gives the appearance of steam
That moment when steam rises up from pasta like mist over a mountain is hard to capture naturally on camera. Kaufman hides a tin foil package of steam chips inside the pasta bowl and adds water to make vapor. To get the same effect, she has also illuminated incense and later removed the stick with Photoshop, while other tricks involve a attire steamer or cigarette smoke. By far the most interesting method is to microwave water-soaked tampons( cotton balls work as well) and bury them behind a dish. I have them in my kit just in case, says Kaufman. Regardless of the technique, she says steam should always be shot against a dark background.
Read more: www.theguardian.com
Annette Bening:’ Women don’t have to do everything’1 month, 18 days ago
She is the ultimate 21 st century female both on and off the screen. Eve Barlow fulfils Annette Bening in LA to talk about movies, motherhood and her search for meaning
At 11 am on a Friday morning, Studio City in Los Angeles is full of mums. Mums coming out of fingernail salons, mums falling dogs off at day care, mums picking up fresh bread. Outside one deli, a local mum with cropped hair slides in through the front doorway in a camel-coloured overcoat. She moves towards a back kiosk and, complaining of a slight cold, orders chicken noodle soup. She could be any mum, but shes the mum: Annette Bening.
She seems around the 1950 s diner. I love the booths, I love the ambiance, and she smiles, pointing at portraits of stacks of salt beef and rye, I love the pictures of the sandwiches. Its a surprise, perhaps, that such Hollywood royalty can sit at a booth in an unassuming deli without anyone bothering her.
For nearly 30 years, Bening a four-time Oscar nominee, a Bafta winner for American Beauty and twice a Golden Globe recipient( for Being Julia and The Kids Are All Right ) has been bending the notions of family. At the age of 58, her latest maternal portrait in 20 th Century Women is lauded as her most electric, searching and emotionally expansive yet.
Read more: www.theguardian.com
The magic number: how many people have you slept with?1 month, 21 days ago
From a 40 -year-old virgin to a role-play devotee, real people disclose everything theyve learned between the sheets. Cautioning: adult content
You didnt go all the way unless you were stupid, because it would ruin your life
Jane, 81, three partners
My grandmother was a Victorian and wouldnt mention the lavatory. For her, sexuality would have been something a woman suffered rather than enjoyed.
Coming to London in 1955 was a revelation. My friend and I shared a flat with three chaps. This was unheard of at the time, but by gosh we had fun. There was a bath in the kitchen and, if you didnt want to miss the party, people could hand you a drink through the curtain.
But Id never go all the way. You couldnt enjoy sexuality to that extent, because youd be afraid of losing control. We had no contraception. You didnt go further unless you were stupid, because it would ruin your life. Even when you were married, you were holding back, in case you got pregnant again. That destroyed a lot of the pleasure for women. The greatest liberation was the contraceptive pill. That changed everyones attitude to sex.
I marriage at 24 and had two children, but I used to wish I could have sex just for the sake of it. Im divorced now and, a couple of years back, a male acquaintance asked, Are you still active? And I supposed, whats he on about? My arms and legs still run. I can walk about. Then I realised it was a euphemism for sexually active. When I told my grandson, he burst out chuckling. Hed have to be fairly damned gorgeous, but I dont guess I could now. A man of my age would expect me to cook his food. I cant be bothered with that.
I went on Grindr when I was 16, and I was frightened
Paul, 20, three partners
When I was really young, I imagined myself being with a woman, because that was the norm. Growing up and used to identify I was gay changed everything.
At my age, a lot of gay men are quite sleazy. Straight men are likely the same. People sleep around, and its not my scene, so finding a long-term partner can be difficult. I recollect going on Grindr when I was 16, and I was terrified because older humen started sending me photos. I was like: what are you doing? Youre 40. Is that OK? That 40 -year-old humen can approach 16 -year-olds?
Its very easy for lesbian men to find sex. If I wanted to have sex tonight, I could probably find someone, but I wouldnt feel the connection. I could go on Grindr, chat person up and invite them round, but I dont like the idea of inviting a stranger into my house.
I miss people actually talking to each other, instead of being online. You ensure 90 s Tv programmes where people go up to someone in a bar and say, Hi, can I get your number? And I think, that would never, ever happen these days.
Ive not been in that situation yet, but I think sex is likely best when youre in a relationship, because youre more comfy around one another. When you dont know person, you always think, Oh God, is this OK? Am I doing this right? Especially if theyre more experienced than you. Ive slept with guys whove had more experience and guys whove had less, and you can tell the difference, so I always wonder: can they tell that about me?
There are lots of things that are way more pleasurable than penetration
Matt, 28, more than 25 partners
The sex we see in the media is one-dimensional. Its nearly always penetrative, and that might be how you construct babies, but its not the best style to induce your partner climax. I had an illness when I was a child, which meant I lost one of my legs. Disabled people have a blessing in a manner that is, because they learn that there are lots of other things that you can do that are style more pleasurable.
I discovered that confidence is a trick when I was at university. Its a style of holding your head up and faking it, because women dont actually care how you seem. But I also realised that the best thing I could do was to learn how to induce women genuinely enjoy themselves. So much of sex education is not based on female pleasure at all. A lot of men have a narrative in their head about how sex should play out, which objective up prohibiting genuine experimentation. Some humen get intimidated by a woman who is sexually empowered or open because its not what they were taught was meant to happen.
White Saviour Barbie’s world of orphanage selfies and charity startups1 month, 23 days ago
A spoof Instagram account is parodying millennial voluntourism and gap yahs
Name : White Saviour Barbie. Age : 20. Appearance : The very model of western millennial egalitarianism.
Is that a compliment? No, definitely not. Barbie Savior is an Instagram account that satirises the messiah complex of affluent westerners who spend time travelling in the developing world.
Im nothing like that . Really? But didnt you once expend an afternoon helping out in a rural Guatemalan orphanage during your gap year?
Yes, but And didnt you spend the entire afternoon dismis the staff and taking selfies with the children?
Yes, but And dont those selfies now exist exclusively as a method to convince people that you are nicer than you are, mostly so that they will sleep with you?
Rats, busted . Its OK. We have all done it. White Saviour Barbie merely glistens a light on that a little. In fact, the creators started the account after realising that they were guilty of imitating her behaviour. So what does White Saviour Barbie do ? She basically exemplifies the obnoxiously self-serving They have nothing, but theyre so happy attitude of many western travellers. For example, the caption under a photo of Barbie hugging a black Barbie is: Orphans take the BEST pictures! So. Cute. #whatsyournameagain #orphans.
Is there more ? A fortnight ago, she started a charity called Harness the Tears, because: Ever since Ive been here, Ive been crying almost 90% of the time. I realised how wasteful that was as there is such a need for water here! Given the fact that Ive always wanted to be a CEO and Im already 20 years old, I figured it was time to get moving!
This all voices a lot like the Sociality Barbie Instagram account from last year. Truth be told, it is. Poor Barbie is quickly becoming the ship by which white millennials chronicle their own self-loathing.
What could possibly be next ? Barbie Already Nostalgic for 2011 Student Disco? Barbie Blaming Her Dire Financial Outlook on Baby Boomers by Tweeting a Sad Emoji on Her 750 Smartphone? What about Barbie Silently Furious at the Condescension of an Apparently Ageing Media ? Yes, OK, point taken.
Do say: Check your privilege, White Saviour Barbie.
Dont say: And dont get me started on you, Masculine Hegemony Mr Potato Head.
Read more: www.theguardian.com
Inner-city living builds for healthier, happier people, study determines2 months, 6 days ago
Residents of higher-density areas are more active, more socially engaged and less obese than people who live in the sprawl of suburbia
Contrary to popular belief, busy city centres beat suburban living when it is necessary to human wellbeing, as socialising and walking make for happier, healthier people, according to a new report.
Downtown residents- packed together in tight row houses or apartment blocks- become active and socially engaged than people who live in the sprawl of suburbia, according to a report that aims to challenge popular beliefs about city life.
Its authors said their findings should encourage legislators to promote the benefits of built-up city living.
” If we can persuade policy makers that this is a public health possibility, we can construct well-designed communities, and in the long term you have made a big difference in the area of health outcomes ,” its co-author Chinmoy Sarkar told the Thomson Reuters Foundation.
” With evidence, we can scheme multi-functional, attractive neighborhoods that promote physical activity, promote social interaction, and shield from negatives such as pollution and impression unsafe .”
The examine- by Oxford University and the University of Hong Kong( UHK)- showed that in 22 British cities people living in built-up residential area had lower levels of obesity and exercised more than residents in scattered, suburban homes.
” As cities get more and more compact, they become more walkable. In denser residential areas they are better designed and most attractive destinations. We are less dependent on our automobiles and use public transport more ,” he said.
Sarkar, assistant prof at UHK, said policies and planning needed to catch up with the data, rather than relying on urban myths about what attains cities work.
The study showed that areas of suburban sprawl with about 18 homes per hectare- such as poorly designed neighborhoods near motorways, where driving is the only option- had the greatest rates of obesity and lowest rates of exercise.
Suburban areas with few homes- often privileged communities with big gardens and open spaces- were healthier than this but lagged behind the most densely populated areas in inner cities.
Walking constructed the biggest change, said Sarkar, and social interaction and physical activity flourished best in compact communities.
The analyse compared more than 400,000 residents of cities- including London, Glasgow, and Cardiff- and procured the best health came in areas with more than 32 homes per hectare, the average density for new building in Britain.
This level, typical of developments of standalone semi-detached suburban homes, is less than a one-quarter of the density of Georgian terraces of London’s desirable Islington and Notting Hill neighbourhoods.
Sarkar called into question British policies- such as statutes to curtail suburban homes from dividing their plots and filling in more homes in gardens- which have sought to preserve suburbia’s open and emptier spaces.
In January the government announced it would construct 17 new towns and villages across the countryside in a bid to ease a chronic housing shortage. But Sarkar said policy makers should think again before building on green fields.
Despite spiralling home costs and government targets to build a million homes by 2020, Britain’s restrictive scheming system has prevented high-density, urban planning due to fears that it would lead to high-rise, low-quality blocks of flats, according to a government paper released in February.
London remains one of Europe’s most sparsely populated major cities, with less than half the density of Madrid, Barcelona and Paris, and below the level of Milan, Berlin and Rome.
The paper recommended local authorities to reverse their long-standing opposition to built-up residential areas by highlighting London’s mansion blocks and terraced streets, all of which promote a strong sense of neighbourhood.
On Wednesday the prime minister, Theresa May, said the government would give PS2bn( US $2.6 bn) to local government authorities to build 25,000 homes for rental in the social housing sector, which urgently requires new properties.
The the administration has invest a further PS10bn in a strategy that aims to boost home ownership by helping people buy a new-build home with only a small deposit.
Read more: www.theguardian.com
India court bans Islamic instant divorce in huge win for women’s rights3 months, 3 days ago
Controversial practice of triple talaq, which permits humen to dissolve weddings instantly, declared unconstitutional
An Islamic practice permitting humen to instantly divorce their wives has been proclaimed unconstitutional by India’s supreme court after decades of campaigning by women’s groups and victims.
The” triple talaq” has allowed Muslim men to dissolve weddings by pronouncing the word “divorce” three times.
The supreme court in Delhi took up the issue last year in response to a petition from seven victims and women’s groups. A majority of the bench proclaimed on Wednesday that triple talaq was ” not integral to religious practice and violates constitutional morality “.
Campaigners hailed the supreme court’s 3-2 decision as a huge victory for India’s 90 million Muslim women.
” It’s a very happy day for us. It’s an historical day ,” said Zakia Soman, the co-founder of the Bharatiya Muslim Mahila Andolan( BMMA ), an activist group that was party to the legal battle.
” We, the Muslim women, are entitled to justice from the courts as well as the legislature .”
The Indian prime minister, Narendra Modi, also welcomed the verdict 😛 TAGEND
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: ‘Can people please stop telling me feminism is hot? ‘3 months, 10 days ago
The novelist has been accused of making equality mainstream: isnt that the phase? Plus an excerpt from her new Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was in Lagos last summer, teaching a writing workshop as part of an annual schedule that considers her period divided between Nigeria and the US. For much of the year, Adichie lives in a town 30 minutes west of Baltimore, where her Nigerian-American spouse runs as a medic and the 39 -year-old writes in the quiet of a suburban home. When Adichie is in Nigeria, where her parents and extended family still live, she has a house in the vast city she considers with the complicated love and condescension of the part-time expat.
Its an ambivalence with which many Nigerians regard her, too; last year, the workshop ended in a question-and-answer session, during which a young man rose to ask the famous novelist a question. I used to love you, she recalls him saying. Ive read all your volumes. But since you started this whole feminism thing, and since you started to talk about this gay thing, Im simply not sure about you any more. How do you intend to keep the love of people like me?
Adichie and I are in a coffee shop near her home in the Baltimore suburbs. We have met before, a few years ago, when her third novel Americanah was published, a book that examines what it is to be a Nigerian woman living in the US, and that went on to win a National Book Critics Circle award. A plenty has happened since then. Half Of A Yellow Sun, Adichies second and most well known novel, about the Biafran war, has been built into a film starring Chiwetel Ejiofor and Thandie Newton. Her essay, We Should All Be Feminists, accommodated from her 2013 TEDx talk, has remained on the bestseller listings, particularly in Sweden, where in 2015 it was distributed to every 16 -year-old high-school student in the land. The talk was sampled by Beyonc in her ballad Flawless. Adichie has become the face of Boots No7 makeup. And she has had a baby, a daughter , now 15 months old.
Adichie is still somewhat in the blast zone , not entirely caught up on sleep, but has published a short book, Dear Ijeawele, Or A Feminist Manifesto In Fifteen Suggestions, an extended version of a letter to a friend who, after having her own baby girl, asked Adichies advice on how to raise her to be feminist. I have had twin girls myself since our last meeting, so I am curious about her approach , not least because one of my two-year-olds currently identifies as Bob the Builder and the other as Penelope Pitstop. I would like to equip them to be themselves, while defying whatever projections might be foisted upon them. We depict each other baby photos and smile. Welcome to the world of anxiety, Adichie says.
The success of We Should All Be Feminists has attained Adichie as prominent for her feminism as for her novels, to the extent that now I get invited to every damned feminist thing in countries around the world. She has always been an agony aunt of sorts, the unpaid therapist for my family and friends, but having the feminist label attached has changed things, and not only among her intimates. I was opened to a certain level of enmity that I hadnt experienced before as a novelist and public figure.
This is partly why she has written the new volume, to reclaim the word feminism from its abusers and misusers, a category within which she would include certain other progressives, and to lay down in plain, elegant English her beliefs about child-raising.
Dear Ijeawele is, in some way, a very basic situated of appeals; to be careful with speech( never say because you are a girl ), avoid gendered dolls, foster read, dont treat marriage as an accomplishment, reject likability. Her chore is not to induce herself likable, her job must therefore be her full self, she writes in reference to her friends daughter, a selection Adichie has come to elevate almost above any other.
That day in Lagos last summertime, her friends were furious at the cheek of the young mans topic, but she instead liked his courage and franknes in asking it. She replied in the same spirit. Keep your love, Adichie said. Because, sadly, while I love to be loved, I will not accept your love if it comes with these conditions.
Having a newborn has built Adichie believe differently about her own parents, especially her mother. Grace Adichie, who had six “childrens and” worked her way up from being a university administrator to the registrar, taught her daughter to love manner as well as volumes, and was a very cool mum whom she idolised as small children. Nonetheless, and in the manner of most snotty young adults, young Chimamanda went through a phase of being very superior to her mom. Now, the novelist looks at her daughter and gulps.
Adichie recently came across her own kindergarten reports. My father keeps them all. You know what the educator wrote? She is brilliant, but she refuses to do any run when shes rile. I was five years old. She laughs. I couldnt believe it. My husband couldnt believe it. I must have been an riling child.
Its not as if she comes from a family of revolutionaries. My mothers are not like that. Theyre conventional, reasonable, responsible, good, kind people. Im the crazy. But their love and subsistence made that crazy thrive.
Unlike Adichie, who was raised exclusively in Nigeria, her daughter will be raised in two cultures and subject to somewhat diverging social expectations. Already, Adichie says with a laugh, friends and relatives from home are concerned that her mothering is insufficiently stern.
A friend was just visiting and she said to me, Your parenting is not very Nigerian. In Nigeria and, I suppose, in many cultures you control children. And I feel like, my daughter is 15 months, she doesnt have a sense of consequences. And I enjoy watching her. So she tears a page of a volume? Whatever. She hurls my shoes down. So? Its fun. I love that shes quite strong-willed. The joke between Adichie and her husband whom, to her intense aggravation, their daughter looks much more like is that her character cleaves to the maternal side. He says to me, Well, at least we know where she got her personality from. Shes quite fierce.
In the new book, Adichies advice is not just to provide children with alternatives to empower boys and girls to understand there is no single style to be but also to understand that the only universal in this world is difference. In terms of the evolution of feminism, these are not new lessons, but that is rather Adichies phase. She is not writing for other feminist writers, and demonstrates some annoyance at what she sees as the solipsism of much feminist debate.
That morning, on the way to see her, I had read a review of a new volume by Jessa Crispin, entitled Why I Am Not A Feminist: A Feminist Manifesto, a criticism of everything that is wrong with feminism today. If one can get over the eye-rolling aspect of volumes by feminists decrying the feminism of other feminists for degrading the word feminist by being insufficiently feminist, the book does raise questions about where 1 should be focusing ones efforts.
I’m American and devastated. Why did we vote for Trump? | Mariella Frostrup3 months, 14 days ago
One woman, frightened by her countrys results of the election, insures no chink of sunlight. Remember the millions, like you, trying to construct the world a better place, says Mariella Frostrup
The dilemma I am American; born, created and still living in New York City and I am, without exaggeration, devastated. I feel my country, in electing Donald Trump, has just been resulted down the road to extermination and mayhem. My disgrace, embarrassment, fear, rage, and sadness are unrelenting. I witnessed 9/11 from my school window as a adolescent, so I will never think of the US as a place of unending harmony or prosperity, but I cannot believe that so many people would allow this to happen.
I knocked on doorways, encouraged people to vote and donated money, but had I known the reality, I would have done much more. I know people in other countries are equally shocked, but do you have any wisdom to share? I would also like to tell those abroad that many of us here find this tragic and deep embarrassing( no one I know feels differently to me although I realise that is part of their own problems ).
Mariella replies My heart goes out to you. Many of us remain mortified by our nations recent political choices. We both live in countries that have experienced political shocks of a seismic nature in the past year and you are certainly not alone in your hopelessnes and embarrassment. That said, you cant take responsibility for the choices a nation makes any more than you can for a partner.
The best we can hope for is to try to understand why such selections were made and let that inform future dialogue. On the summer day we voted to leave the EU, plenty of us in the UK were as devastated as you are now, but period has encouraged a degree of sagacity. Pulling up the drawbridge to the UK has provided a salutary lesson to those on both sides, and neither seemed to be in step with voters. Believing youre the one in the right is no alternative to appreciating the concerns of others , no matter how alien their beliefs might feel.
Its a lesson as true in politics as it is in our personal lives. Being so convinced of the righteousness of your beliefs that you block your ears to opposing ideas is certainly not constructive. Never has the liberal left looked more out of step with the populist tune and I speak as a paid-up member of that fraternity. My belief and hope is that the referendum and election outcomes in both the UK and US respectively will animate us all out of our apathetic stupor. Weve been treading water for too long. Like partners in an unhappy marriage we needed things to hit rock bottom to force us out of our hapless ways.
The world as we know it has to change. It feels as though the divide between rich and poor hasnt been so pronounced since the Middle Ages. Along with our determination to claim whatever meagre bit of clay we consider our birthright, were becoming increasingly useless at the life skills essential to survival. My shameful Tv secret is that Im an Im a Celebrity viewer, a programme that are typically confirms my hypothesi that evolution is in retreat. Your future chairperson would have made a perfect contestant. I suspect you know how to light a fire, clean your socks and whip up a meal from basic ingredients, but that basic skill set is gradually attaining you part of a minority in the developed world.
Its a dangerous state of affairs. No wonder the proponents of dread are taking over. As a species we are scared witless and feel increasingly helpless about where we are heading. But instead of fuelling us to care better for our planet and its dwellers weve been wringing our hands and staring out the window.
Again, as in a relationship, its all too easy to identify where things are wrong and harder, but more constructive to identify where were getting it right. Our tally in attaining the world a better place is something we dont often add up. Instead our daily diet of failing is delivered through every media outlet, our excesses and brutalities writ big to capture the popular imagination. So its hard not to despair.
Read more: www.theguardian.com
How to talk to strangers: a guidebook to bridging what divides us4 months, 7 days ago
The more we do to interact with people who arent like us, the better off well be in the face of hatred that has become so visible thanks to Donald Trump
We seem to have lost the capacity to live with our differences in peace. The complex lines that divide us are now exposed, and they run deeper than we believed from what we see as the most pressing issues facing the country, to our values, to our understanding of race, gender and liberty. In her concession speech, Hillary Clinton herself find: We are a far more divided society than we realized.
In the Seattle Times, Nicholas Confessore and Nick Corasanti described the electorate as unprecedentedly segregated socially and geographically: About half of Americans now live near people more politically like them than not, whether in conservative rural townships or sprawling liberal cities. Few Trump advocates report having close friends voting for Mrs Clinton. Many Clinton advocates are more likely to see Trump voters on television than in person.
Republicans and Democrats have always been on opposite sides of political and social fencings. Whats new, what might feel insurmountable, is the degree of difference. The gap has widened very quickly over the past two decades. Weve arrived at perhaps the most difficult moment in recent history: approximately half the electorate have voted into the presidency of the United States an openly bigoted, racist, xenophobic, sexist, sexual predator. Divisiveness exemplified in an authoritarian leader.
In the face of pervasive, violent hatred that has become so visible and so normalized, people are struggling with “what were doing”, how to take action.