I Wish I Had Meant To You What You Meant To Me

25 days ago

I know I’m only twenty-one. I know we only met this year. I know you live incredibly far from me. But man, was I falling for you.

I was falling for you like I havent with anyone else before. And that means something. Especially when I consider myself the furthest thing from a romantic. We didnt have that long together, but if life could have continued in the same manner, I know I would have been a happy girl. For the first time I could see someone with me in the future. That someone was you.

I still think about you a lot. Clearly.

My mind will wander, eyes focusing on a place to stare, and I’m transported back to my favorite memories with you. Like the time we went to see during finals, or sat for hours talking and drinking bubble tea or when you ate dinner twice at my house, or I jumped on your back at the quarry. There were so many good ones in such a short period of time. Did this happen because we knew time was limited or because we actually, truly connected?I know my answer.

I also know I’m a little crazy. Heck I feel a little crazy saying all of this. So go ahead and call me that when I ask: Why didn’t we give us a fighting chance?

I can’t seem to figure out what’s more painful: having tried and eventually failed, or never having been worth the shot.

I know regardless of whether you tell me you’ve moved on or remain single, it will still be sore for me. I’ll always just be the girl you spent your last months of college with, nothing more. The girl who still has a stupid crush on you. The girl who keeps wondering ? The girl who remains hopeful even though she shouldnt. The girl you message here and there. The girl youll let know when you find her replacement

That one hurt.

Granted, I did bring it upon myself when I asked to know if you found someone new. I guess I just wanted the answer to be different. Silly, silly girl.

I must not have made a strong enough impression on you, left a deep enough mark, or been the only one capable of making your heart content.

I know I like you more than you like me. I know this because Ive said it to you before and you don’t contradict me. I tell you I will be the one to get hurt. You don’t argue with that either. I was the one to speak first about serious things. I was the only one to bring them up actually. I was the one to give you my feelings, all exposed. I was the fearless one. I was the one who wanted more.But I know Ill never get more from you.

I wish you would have wanted to stay with me despite the odds against us. I wish I had fought for us. I wish I had meant enough to you. I know you meant more than enough to me. But no matter what I know to be true it doesn’t change where we are now. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m replaceable to you. It doesn’t change the fact that everything I hope you’re going to say to me you never do. It doesn’t change the fact that I think I may have loved you.

Yeah, love.

All this I know.

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6 Bedroom Mindsets That Make Men Go Wild

1 month, 2 days ago

A great sex life and being the woman of his dreams – starts well before you enter the bedroom.

The mindsets you bring to sex determine not just how much your man enjoys sex with you, but more importantly how he feels about sex with you.

The better he feels about his bedroom capabilities, the more hes going to see himself as gods gift – and will want to keep coming back to prove it.

Most women dont realize how much their attitudes to sex can make or break their partner and their relationship. So for his sake, and yours, here are 6 bedroom mindsets men love to find in a woman.

I wont pressure my man

If you were struggling to climax or get turned on, and a man kept telling you to hurry up, do you think it would help?

Men care about pleasing you – a lot. When they feel like they cant, theyre already freaking out in their own heads.

When youre with a guy whos struggling to get it up or finish, piling on the pressure will NOT do you any good. In fact, it will have the opposite effect.

Just like you, men need to be relaxed to enjoy themselves. If you help him get comfortable and show him you dont mind, youre a much better chance of getting things going again.

Ill never say never

Does he have a fantasy that you could never imagine yourself doing?

Despite how against it you might feel, you may want to be careful with the language you use, steering clear of the word never.

When a man offers up some sort of sexual fantasy (from a dress up to anal to involving someone else), the use of the word never puts him in a quandary.

By telling him never, you are essentially saying to him You will have to be with another woman if you ever want to experience that.

Is that something you want to be emphatically communicating?

I know what youre thinking. But Mark, I would never have a threesome. Why is it wrong to say so?.

Whats important to understand is, men often bring up fantasies not because they actually want to do them, but because they are testing to see whether – if they did – they couldnt with you. They are testing to see how trapped they are if they are literally choosing to never experience those fantasies by staying with you.

Its male instinct to want to break out of traps, so why verbally put him in one every time he brings up a fantasy?

When you give an answer with softer language, I wouldnt totally rule it out, but wed have to have a lot of talking and it would be quite a way off in the future, he doesnt feel like hes choosing to lose out on that fantasy forever by staying with you. Its virtually a no, but without all the trappings that come with saying no outright.

The amusing part is, he usually then forgets about the whole idea.

If hes really serious, hell persist, and you can cross that bridge as a couple if you come to it. Counseling and good communication can happen if hes really passionate about making a fantasy youre uncomfortable with a reality.

For the most part though, men dont actually want to live out these fantasies for real. They just like feeling safe in the fact that maybe, one day, you would be the woman with whom they could.

Im going to be really fin dirty

The more you enter the bedroom with an attitude that youre going to let it all out, the more your man is going to love the fact hes the only one who gets to see it.

Ive never met a man who complained about a sexual experience where a woman was too raw, primal or uninhibited. Yet Ive heard hundreds of complaints from men about women who they felt were inhibited, shy, and seemed afraid to let go.

A man knows deep down that if hes truly a man, hell be able to bring out the raw, sexual woman inside of you. He literally feels like a failure if he cant.

So go in with the attitude that once the clothes are off, so are all bets. Youre going to be as dirty as you want to be and hes going to unleash something other men arent privy to.

I love my body

You know those insecurities you have about your body?

Leave them at the bedroom door.

If youre in a mans room, especially for the first time, it means hes already played out this moment multiple times in his head. Hes touched himself to thoughts of you naked. Hes imagined taking off your clothes. Hes fantasized about having you every moment since the two of you walked in the door.

So once he starts taking off your clothes and unwrapping the goddess, dont ruin his fantasy for him.

Some women at this moment get nervous. Cover themselves. Dart under the covers. Turn the lights off. Its instinct. But its an instinct you want to put aside, because it causes all of the build-up and excitement in his head to turn to dust. He thinks to himself I guess this wont be as good as I thought.

He really wants to see you naked and does not care one bit about that thing youre insecure about with your body. Even if it is a big thing own it! The more you show you love your body and believe youre as sexy as he thinks you are, the more you reinforce his fantasies, subtly reminding him how lucky he is.

Even when Im not in the mood, I still find you sexy

This may shock you to hear, but men have egos.

And a good chunk of a mans ego revolves around sex.

Which means, if youre the only woman hes having sex with, you control most of that ego and therefore – how he feels about himself.

Why is this important?

Youre not going to be in the mood for sex all the time. But how you communicate this can either bolster, or chip away, at his precious male ego.

Every time you reject your man harshly every time you tell him Go away, Im not horny right now or Stop pestering me, Im not in the mood, you take a tiny chip out of that ego. Once or twice wont hurt him, but chips eventually become cracks and cracks lead to collapse. It sounds extreme but repeated damage over months and years will eventually destroy him as a man.

The better you communicate that you still find him sexy despite your rejection, I would LOVE for you to take me right now, but I really cant tonight, I have to sleep. Later this week I want you though!, the more you preserve that precious male ego. Even if hes not getting sex, he still walks away feeling like a man.

Ill show him what I like, not tell him what I dont

Remember, the male ego as it relates to sex is VERY delicate.

If he feels like he cant please you, he literally feels like less of a man.

Criticism (Stop, what are you doing?? Ow! Dont do it like that!!) wont go down well if youre after positive change. Give feedback to a man the same way you would give feedback to a scared puppy. Positive reinforcement, rather than verbal criticism. Physically show him what you enjoy I love it when you do it like this and give positive feedback when he gets it right. By showing him what you love, youll have him wanting to do it more rather than shying away.

Having the right mindsets towards your man and sex wont just result in better experiences for the two of you – It can literally be the difference between him fantasizing over the next time he gets to please you versus him feeling like he cant.

Be fearless and open with him and understand his ego, and in return youll have a loving, loyal partner who wants to fulfill your every fantasy.

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Mobile dating apps spur HIV epidemic among AsiaaEUR( tm) s adolescents, says UN

1 month, 11 days ago

Smartphone technology has increased the opportunities for casual sex and led to a spike in HIV infections among teens in Asia, researchers find

United Nations research has observed the growing utilize of mobile dating apps by young gays men is a major factor in a new HIV epidemic among adolescents in Asia, the Guardian can reveal.

The report uncovered a upsurge of HIV infections among 10 -1 9 years olds in the Asia-Pacific region, where more than half of the worlds 1.2 billion teens live.

The two-year study found that smartphone dating apps have expanded possibilities for spontaneous casual sex as never before.

The epidemic is fastest growing amongst men who have sex with humen. Other groups include those who are sexually exploited by or engaged in sexuality work, people who inject drugs, and young transgender people.

Young lesbian men themselves has systematically told us that they are now utilizing mobile dating apps to meet up for sexuality, and are having more casual sex with more people as a result. We know that this kind of risky behaviour increases the spread of HIV, said Wing-Sie Cheng, HIV/ Aids consultant for Unicef in east Asia and the Pacific.

We are hence convinced that there is a connection, and that we need to work better with mobile app providers to share information about HIV and safeguard the health of adolescents.

The previously unreported epidemic threatens the UNs goal to end the global Aids crisis by 2030, which appeared achievable after a sharp drop in Africa during the past 15 years.

Adolescents are also more likely to die of Aids-related demises, researchers from Unicef and UNAIDS detected, as they are less inclined to seek therapy, dreading they will be stigmatised or forcing them to expose their sexuality to their family or the authorities concerned. In many countries in the region, under-1 8s cannot get an HIV test without parental consent.

Dating site visits

While global HIV infections are dropping, the number of teens aged 10 -1 9 officially living with HIV in Asia and the Pacific has grown to more than 220,000, with the unofficial number expected to be much higher, Unicef says. Fewer than half of them are receiving treatment and demises have risen nearly every year for a decade.

An HIV-positive Filipino man aged 30, speaking on condition of anonymity to protect himself from abuse, said it was hard to find sex for a gay teen, bullied at school and closed off from the adult-only lesbian bars.

At university, the introduction of internet dating chat rooms and online forums allowed him to find more sex partners his age. He would chat with men and agree to rent a room for a few hours in the capital.

If I write down all the people I had sexuality with in Manila, I can probably write one to five people for each stop of the metro, he said.

Smartphones and mobile dating revolutionised his sex life. Whereas internet dating involved a laborious process of arranging a session up, dating apps are location-based, allowing users to scan their surroundings for others.

Dating site visits

Even if youre still in school and “youre feeling” the need to have sex, you just open Grindr, he said. You dont even have to talk to them. People simply send you naked photos or photos of their cocks. If youre fine with them, you just go and have sex.

The immediacy of the sexuality, organised in minutes, attained condom utilize less likely, he said. I did use condoms. But it was not consistent. You dont want to lose the momentum.

Despite his promiscuous mobile dating years, the Filipino mans HIV test returned negative and he entered into a long-term relationship. But two years later he contracted the virus from his boyfriend who was secretly cheating on him by employing mobile dating apps.

In the Philippines, new HIV infections among teenagers have doubled in four years. In Bangkok, young gay humen now have a one in three opportunity of HIV infection.

HIV rates in Bangkok

And eighteen countries across the Asia-Pacific region criminalise against same-sex relationships which UNAIDS says causes lesbian humen to avoid life-saving HIV services.

A separate study last year found that men who have sex with men utilizing dating apps are at greater hazard of contracting gonorrhoea and chlamydia than those who gratify in-person or on the internet.

Wing-Sie, the Unicef adviser, said that dating apps create networks of men, in which infections rapidly spread among users. Mobile dating apps essentially hook you up to a central network.

She said the study looked at observational trends around the region reported by United Nations policemen and local community workers who said their HIV strategy urgently needed to adapt to the explosion of mobile dating apps. HIV is a covert issue, it is very hidden. So data is not available.

She said researchers found that with the rise of these apps, the probability and risk of infection will increase multifold because it stimulates it so much easier for them to date other guys and hook up for sex, she said.

A spokesman from Grindr, used in 196 countries worldwide with 1 million active users every minute, said it has a minimum age requirement of 18. As the worlds largest homosexual platform, we take matters of sex health very seriously, the spokesman said, adding that Grindr runs in-app proclamations fostering testing at local clinics.

David S Novak, senior health strategist at Online Buddies, the mother company of the dating app Jackd, directed the Guardian to its ManHunt Cares project, which provides health resources to its users. In 2009, the company also set up a research institute focusing on lesbian sex health.

Other major dating app companies Tinder, Blued and Growlr did not respond to requests for comment.

The UN report says these apps can become vital conduits promoting sexual health, including HIV messaging and testing, and references a 2014 World Aids Day project by the Chinese gays dating app Blued where a red ribbon was added next to every users profile scene, linking to details of nearby testing centres.

Wing-Sie said Unicef will approach mobile dating app companies in the next month for a collaborative endeavor and so the world body might collect data to further investigate the impact of mobile dating.

Based in Bangkok, Jesse Krisintu has been working with charities trying to persuade young people to get tested for HIV through tactics such as pop-up advertisements on dating apps. He said the project did not work.

Dating site visitors by PC

Its their business. If they advertise too much about HIV/ Aids services there, do you think people are going to go online? he said.

He said that one project involving pop-ups offered discounts on HIV tests but that very few were claimed and that the analytics depicts most users instantly closed the pop-up advert.

The application is where the key population is but no one is going to read the pop-up because the purpose of people going to those apps to find sex , not to find knowledge. The results are not that favourable, he said. People merely close it.

The UN is now also advocating for comprehensive sex education beyond a simple explanation of the sex organ and for reducing the age at which adolescents can take an HIV test without parental consent.

AIDS is already the leading cause of demise for adolescents in Africa and the second leading cause of death among teens globally, tripling over the past 15 years and largely as a result of mother-to-child transmission. However, this new breed of epidemic found in Asia-Pacific could be replicated elsewhere, public health officials warn.

There is a risk of not being able to eliminate Aids at all, Wing-Sie said. This is the new frontier of Aids to tackle right now. The world can never end Aids if this matter is not controlled.

Read more: www.theguardian.com

Here’s What Kind Of Girlfriend You Are, Based On Your Birth Order

1 month, 23 days ago

First Born

Girls who are the oldest in their family are the girlfriends who just want to take care of you. Their maternal instinct can never be tamed so they always want to make sure you’re in a good spot, have enough to eat, don’t need help with anything…pretty much anything that could fall under the caretaker role. They are the classic,” text me when you get home !” girlfriend the one is who always going to put you ahead of herself.

Oldest children do have a reputation for being controlling, and so the girl who is the oldest sibling is likely going to be on the more type A aim of the spectrum. Believe of it as less bossy, and more particular. Will there be arguments because the laundry wasn’t put away correctly? Perhaps. But thebenefit tobeing an oldest child is she’slearned how to negotiate. So arguments very quickly become “dialogues” or “discussions” and rarely spin out of control and become anactual fight.

Somewhere In The Middle

Middle children have grown up with people on either side of them who were also vying for attention, so dating a middle child entails she’s going to want a lot of reassurance. She has a tendency to lean a little towards the jealousy side not because she’s paranoid or thinks her S.O. is doing anything that would WARRANT jealousy. Her jealousy mostly stems from wanting to be the center of attention( for a change) and be someone’s number one.

Because of her inclination to attention seek, the middle child girlfriend is absolutely a people pleaser. She always wants to construct her partnerhappy to make sure what’s being said about her is actually positive and affirms her place as their favorite. She wants to be the person who arbitrarily comes to mind and attains whoever is thinking of her smile. That is a best occurrence scenario for a middle child.


Babies are the family favorite, and theyre used to being treated as such. Often theyre various kinds of spoiled and used to beingwell A girl who is the youngest in their own families is likely going to be a pretty high-maintenance girlfriend. Youngest children have grown accustomed to a certain level of cushiness to their lifestyle and its not one that theyll very easily give up. Theyre the girlfriends who will ask you take out the junk because their nails are wet, or change the channel since they are dont want to get up.

But youll never have as much fun with a girlfriend as you will with a youngest child. That youthful energy never quite leaves them and theyll always be down for something fun and adventurous. A girlfriend who’s the youngest will bring out your inner child like no one else can.


You know that saying,” I’m with my best friend ,” that people say about their significant other? That will realistically never apply with a twin. Twins are best friends and have a bond that cannot be replicated or even understood by someone who is NOT a twin. So a girl who is a twin has to find a relationship that’s different with her partner, but equally as special. Sometimes she will unintentionallymake her S.O. feel like they’re in the shadow of something they have no way of competing with. So it’s definitely a challenge she has to master to not end up being a girlfriend who doesn’t devote enough love and attention to her partner.

But a girlfriend who is a twin is not just a challenge because she comes with a built in, never going anywhere bestie. She’s incredibly competitive, due to having to essentially compete with herself literally since birth. This makes her headstrong, stubborn, and a girl who never gives up. She’s a girlfriend who you’ll constantly have to chase and keep up with, or else you’ll get left behind.

Only Child

Only children are various kinds of weird little anomalies. They grow up more quickly than their peers, but also need a lot more alone time than most. It takes an only child a while before they find someone they genuinely want to settle down with, since they are do tend to be a little flaky while simultaneously defining actually high standards for themselves.

But once a girl who is an only child is committed to you, she’s FULLY perpetrated. She will be the most attentive, invested girlfriend you’ve ever had. Merely children are often a little OCD and get hyper-excited/ obsessed with things, and this will utterly translate into how much they show that they care about their significant other. Every now and then she’ll need alone time to recharge and be herself, but her’ person’ is perfectly on her intellect no matter where she is.

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How to actually talk to a woman wearing headphones | Martha Mills

2 months, 8 days ago

Martha Mills: How to talk to a woman wearing headphones, without seeming like a terrifying harasser

An article has surfaced from the quagmire of bilge the hell is The Internet and it has caused , not without reason, a small tornado of outrage. Written as dating advice for The Modern Man( a misnomer if ever there were one ), it promises a solution to the hot n horny down-on-their-luck young bucks of the world who face the tedious obstacle of a woman wearing headphones, because how dare she. And no, it isnt a parody.

You can read it in its full entitled glory, or stick with me as I dissect each grubby, jaw-dropping hallucination of psychopathic awfulness. Its going to be quite a ride.

How to Talk to a Woman Who is Wearing Headphones

These days, many females walk around playing with a smartphone or tablet device and are often wearing headphones and listening to music at the same time.

Yet, that doesnt mean you cant talk to them.

Of course , not all women are open to being approached because not all women are single and looking.

However, if a woman wearing headphones is single and hoping to meet a boyfriend( or even a new devotee ), she will almost always be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her.

The author, one Dan Bacon, could have saved us all a lot of bother here by answering his How to with Dont. Sadly he seems to have missed some basic behavioural science here; you assure, the very reason I and many other women wear headphones isnt as a trivial obstacle to some throbbing hormone mountain , nor as a challenge for those blessed with an abundance of ego. Its a defense. A defence against the aural onslaught of modern lifeand especially the leering advances of said pulsating hormone mountains. In short, we wear them because we dont want to be talked to. Its basic physics actually – we fill our ear pits to stop you from get in.

But back to Dan 😛 TAGEND

What to Do to Get Her Attention

1. Stand in front of her( with 1 to 1.5 meters between you ).

2. Have a relaxed, easy-going smile.

3. Is she hasnt already looked up at you, simply get her attention with a wave of your hand. Wave your hand in her direct line of vision so she cant ignore it.

4. When she looks at you, smile and point to her headphones and say, Take off your headphones for a minute and pretend to be taking headphones off your head, so she fully understands.

If she doesnt understand( most women will ), simply gesture that you want to talk to her by briefly pointing backward and forward from you to her and say, I want to talk to you for a minute.

In most cases, you wont have to go to that extreme, but some daughters are shy and will be hesitant to take the headphones off right away because they are feeling a lot of nervousness and exhilaration about what is happening.

5. Then, do what we call Acknowledging the Awkwardness by rapidly mentioning something about the awkwardness of the moment( insure the conversation example below ), to demonstrate you understand that approaching a woman in this way isnt the most common of experiences for either party.

This helps set her at ease and know that you are a cool guy who she can relax and open up to.

I dont know if these five steps are a common thing, but I have personally experienced this several times. At step 1 I know what you are doing and Im dismissing you, hoping the ground will open up and take one of us to the depths of somewhere Hellish, which would be more pleasant than such a situation is developing to be. By step 3 Im not feeling aroused and Im not feeling flattered as Dan later tells his readers I will be – Im feeling harassed. Straight up, dictionary definition harassed.

By step 4 Ive learnt that you cant understand a basic body language brush-off and are therefore a direct threat to my personal safety. My brain is in oppose or flight, checking for escape roads, its trying to figure out just how aggressively youre going to react to any further action I take to extract myself from a situation altogether not of my own making and it is praying they use a flattering photo of me on the news , not that one when my front-facing camera went off accidentally that time.

According to step 5, the fact you have bullied me into one of the most awkward and scary moments of my life builds you a cool guy. Mr Bacon clearly has difficulty spelling. It begins with a t, Dan.

Heres Dans interpretation of how the conversation goes once a human has use his infallible five-point Jedi mind trick to bludgeon a woman from her blissful state of aural security:

You :[ Smile in a friendly, confident manner] Hey I know its not normal for people to talk to someone with headphones in, but I was strolling along and saw you and thought wow, shes a cutie, I have to say hi. Im Dan, whats your name? Woman :[ Usually flattered by the compliment and impressed by your confidence to approach her like that] Jessica. You :[ Add in some humor] Coolnice to meet you Jessica. I dont normally talk to daughters with headphones, but your big green headphones were just calling out to me. Woman :[ Most likely laughing, smiling and enjoying the interaction ]. You :[ Let her know that you have something to do/ somewhere to go, so she understands that youre not going to stand there talking to her for 30 minutes] Anyway, so Im just out doing a bit of shopping at the moment. Im on my route to a store up the street. Hows your day going so far?

In his scenario, Jessica has just been waiting her whole life to be blessed with the attention of a complete stranger who misstep hunched shoulders, darting eyes and rictus for giggling and smiling.

Heres how it plays out in real life. Trust me, Ive been it, insured it and spoken to the survivors:

Him : I see you dont want to be talked to but I find you physically attractive and Im constructing that your problem.

Her : Please leave me alone.


With advice like this out there, its hardly any surprise, is it? These lonely men so desperately in search of conquests have been given permission, blessed with the entitlement to go forth and pluck their bounty employing but five humble steps. So imagine their horror and indignation when that which has been promised doesnt want to be plucked and tells them to sling their greasy hook.

Next Dan listings the five mistakes men attain when approaching a woman who is wearing headphones. Sadly not one of them is to sod right off.

Points 1, 4 and 5 are fairly inoffensive, generic dating guff( be confident, be engaging, be flirty ), but oh boy, just try and get your noggin round points 2 and 3.

2. Allowing her to dismis him

Headphones are a great barrier between a person and the rest of the world.

That being said, if a guy wants to get a womans attention he needs to show confidence by being determined to get her to stop listening to the music and chat to him to him.

If a guy has a weak vibe or presence about him, a woman usually wont give in to his request for her to remove the headphones.

Women love to test guys to see how confident they truly are and a favorite test of women is to ignore a guys attempts to converse with her and find what he will do next. Will he walk away in shame, or will he remain calm and continue talking to her in a confident, easy-going manner?

This is her style of gauging his interest in her and also a way of determining whether he is mentally and emotionally strong enough for a girl like her.

If a guy devotes up at the first sign of resistance, most women will be to turn by his mental and emotional weakness as a man.

3. Allowing her to take control of the interaction

No matter how confident or challenging a woman might behave, she still dreams of fulfilling a guy who is more confident than her. A woman doesnt want to be forced to control an interaction with a guy( i.e. call the shots, boss him around ), but she will if she has to.

Controlling an interaction with a woman is not about bossing her around, being arrogant or being too assertive. Instead, you simply need to assume the role of the man and let her be the woman. In other terms, build her feel girly around you because you think, behave and feel( your vibe) so masculine.

The advice here is basically No doesnt mean no, it entails keep going until you get what you want – the screaming will stop eventually. Because apparently thats what women want – and forms the basis for a million rape defence lawsuits. Trust me, when we tell you to go away we arent testing your measure as a human, were testing how quickly your legs can carry you in an offward direction.

Put Dans advice into any other scenario for the true jaw-drop factor: Shopkeepers may lock their doors at night, but if you want a pint of milk, only hammer on the door until they open up. Theyll be flattered.

I appreciate the world of mating is hard but please, for the love of humanity, learn this: because we are want, doesnt mean you can have. Women are not commodities to be hunted and won, and if you have no luck find someone to bump pink bits with, thats your problem , not our flaw for not adhering to the playbook regulations. Its a playbook we never signed up for and its only a game if both teams actually know theyre playing.

Nowhere in his advice does Dan tell his disappointed man-babies how to handle rejection with grace, because the advice is simply not to accept it. This attitude is why I and countless other women have been been chased down the street, followed home, physically constrained, spat at, verbally abused and generally made to feel like garbage, merely for trying to exist.

So when, I hear the whiny pissbabies ask, when am I allowed to approach hot single women? Simple.

If a woman has her headphones in, the answer is never – and before you bleat on about ooh, what if theres a fire ?, shell reek it, even through all your bulls ** t. If youre in a bar or party, her flirtatious smile may be the come-on youre go looking for, but be prepared to accept that you read it wrong, politely wish her a good evening and toddle back up out of her life without 20 minutes of awkward pawing, insisting she let you buy her a rohypnoltini. But how about this; take up a hobby, ask your friends if they know of someone looking to date or( brace yourself for a whopper of a revelation) if youre looking for a horde of single, eligible girls all looking for friendship-maybe-more in one convenient place, try a dating site.

Anyway, coming soon from Dan Bacon, How To Talk To A Woman Through A Fog Of Pepper Spray. Probably.

Martha Mills is on Twitter as @mittendamour

Read more: www.theguardian.com

Blind date:’ I thought he was joking when he said he’s a Cliff Richard fan’

2 months, 13 days ago

Did energy consultant Martin, 36, and copywriter Almaz, 28, hit it off?

Martin on Almaz

What were you hoping for?
Sparkling company, laughter and a relaxed evening.

First impressions?
Elegant, with a natural brightness and upbeat aura.

What did you talk about?
Music, dinner parties and cooking (Almaz likes to host big parties, while I prefer little gatherings), the role of the royal family, the cut-throat London dating scene.

Any awkward moments?
Not for me. Hopefully Almaz felt comfortable, too.

Good table manners?
Top notch.

Best thing about Almaz?
A lovely voice.

Would you introduce her to your friends?
Certainly. She is articulate, bright and funny.

Describe her in three words
Bright, elegant, engaging.

What do you think she made of you?
Id like to think she found me likable, talkative and entertaining. Im sure she noticed Im not so on trend.

Did you go on somewhere?
Part of our journey home.

And did you kiss?
Friendly continental kisses of greeting and parting only.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
Nothing: I had a very nice evening, though I dont think either of us felt a chemistry.

Marks out of 10?

Would you meet again?
I dont think wed plan anything, but if I saw Almaz out and about, Id definitely go over and say hello.

Almaz on Martin

What were you hoping for?
Butterflies and sexual tension.

First impressions?
Not my usual type.

What did you talk about?
Crossrail and salsa dancing (him), geopolitics and music festivals (me).

Any awkward moments?
I thought he was joking when he said hes a Cliff Richard fan.

Good table manners?
He let me eat more than my fair share, which was delightful.

Best thing about Martin?
No questionable views.

Would you introduce him to your friends?
I think theyd eat him alive.

Describe him in three words
Mild-mannered, good-natured, conventional.

What do you think he made of you?
Not what he was expecting.

Did you go on somewhere?
It was a Sunday night, so no.

And did you kiss?
A goodbye peck on the cheek.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
Id have discreetly given the waiter my number, because we shared some intense looks.

Marks out of 10?

Would you meet again?
Not intentionally.

Martin and Almaz ate at Goode & Wright, London W11.

Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@theguardian.com

If youre looking to meet someone like-minded, visit soulmates.theguardian.com

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I Suppose She’s Trying to Tell You Something, Dude …

2 months, 23 days ago

Read more: cheezburger.com

17 Hilarious Tweets About Being Bi That’ll Make You Want To Celebrate Bisexuality So Hard

3 months ago

You guys, if there’s something I love more than pizza, literally any other food, sleeping for extended periods of time, and being right all the time, it’s being bisexual. Seriously, it’s the best thing ever. Want to know why? Well, aside from confidently knowing that bisexuality is a totally real, valid, and awesome identity, from knowing that I, a raging bisexual, actually exist, despite what a lot of people try to tell me,  from knowing that I get to love and be attracted to two genders of dope humans, these tweets about being bisexual also make bisexuality the best thing ever. Because they’re hilarious. And I like laughing at funny things because I’m not a monster.

Want to know another really great thing about bisexuality? Sept. 23 is apparently International Celebrate Bisexuality Day. . What a day. I mean, I already celebrate my bisexuality every damn day on my own, but maybe since there’s a whole day dedicated to celebrating an amazing identity, I can go a day without people telling me to “put the wine bottle down” and to “stop yelling about bisexuality so much because it’s 2 a.m. and people are trying to sleep.” Ugh, whatever.

Anyway, here are a bunch of tweets about bisexuality, being bisexual, bi culture, and literally all other things being bi that will absolutely make you want to stand on top of a mountain, smash a beer can into your forehead, and scream, “I LOVE BEING BISEXUAL!” Or, you know, however else you wanna celebrate…


Also accurate. We bisexuals have the lowest possible bullsh*t threshold.

*One decently attractive dude walks by* GOD DAMN IT, I THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH THIS.

Pink? Blue? Purple? Unicorn? I should cut it short, right? Nah, I’m gonna keep it long and only get a few natural highlights. LOL, JK. Getting bangs.

Literally, I just have to lock myself in a room, I guess, because TV characters won’t .

Bisexuals: We know what we like.

“She’s so cool and smart and funny and pretty, and I only think about making out with her because I secretly want her face.” — A statement I genuinely believed was logical growing up.

Please, continue serving my bi-ass life to me on a silver platter in 140 characters or less. Thank you.

Attention: Pausing your regularly scheduled funny tweets to let everyone know that bisexuality can be different for different people.

Bi update: It’s not just today. I’m just a generally loud bisexual.

TBH,  was very informative in my bisexual youth.

Blessed be the fruit of my bisexual ass.


I am amazing. Thank you for your time.

I love being on the winning team.

Damn, this is .

Where. Is. The. Damn. Lie?

Wow, I feel so rejuvenated. I love being bi.

This International Celebrate Bisexuality Day, make sure you go out and celebrate all your bisexual friends and loved ones. Give ’em a hug, if they’re into that sort of thing. Buy ’em a drink. Yell about how great bisexuality is with them, because odds are, they’re already doing it when they’re alone, and the more, the merrier.

And if you’re a raging bisexual like me, or a non-raging one, rest assured that you’re 100 percent on a winning team. Any team in the LGBTQ+ community is winning. We’re all winning.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

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Good Save Kev-Dawg

3 months, 17 days ago

Read more: cheezburger.com

If Youre Guilty Of Feeling These 4 Things While Using Dating Apps, Youre Sabotaging Yourself

3 months, 25 days ago

If you want a relationship, but you aren’t on dating apps( or you are and you dislike them ), let me ask you a question: Why? Would you instead fulfill person the “old-fashioned way”? Do you think gratifying someone on a dating app is not romantic enough of a meet cute? Are you still holding on to the idea of bumping into someone on the street who happens to be your soulmate? Do you believe dating apps don’t work for you? I’m not judging you, I swear. I just want to understand what it is about dating apps that you are so against.

I gratified my current boyfriend on Bumble, and I can assure you that our connect is just as strong and romantic as any couple who met in person. I can also assure you that the chances of your perfect match falling into your lap without you putting any work into finding them is less than zero. And if you merely countered that with, “But our didn’t have dating apps! ” may I remind you that our grandparents also had black and white televisions with a choice of, like, three channels to settle on, and if that’s not a metaphor for dating back then, I don’t know what is.

Dating apps have created a whole world of opportunity that our grandparents never had. You have the chance to meet people “youve never” would have met on your own, to learn more about yourself than you could ever imagine, and to surprise yourself with whom your heart is capable of falling for. But if you don’t consider dating apps that way, you’re never going to find love.

If you have the following four impressions while use Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, or whatever your preferred app is, you’re going to have a hard time procuring your soulmate.

1. Picky

We all have an image in our head of the kind of person we “should” be with, but if you want to find love on dating apps, you’ve got to get rid of that image. Rejecting a person who has blonde hair because you like brunettes, who’s 5’11” because you’d opt 6’0 ” or higher, or who’s a political journalist because you generally go for artists will only limit the pool of people you could possibly connect with. What if you have more in common with the journalist than you did with any painter you’ve ever dated? What if you find that you like a person who’s closer to you in height because it’s easier to kiss them that style?

Better yet, what if you come to discover that your fiction of what your life is “supposed” to be like isn’t even what you really wanted? Maybe you’ve always gone for artists, but what if you find yourself feeling inspired by your journalist partner to take up an interest in political activism? What if that was a part of you that you didn’t even know existed, but aims up fulfilling you more than anything you’ve ever done?

If you are even slightly attracted to someone’s profile, even if they don’t seem anything like the person or persons you imagined yourself with, swipe right. You just never, ever know.

2. Judgmental

I know lots of people who, for whatever reason, suppose dating apps are filled with gross, weird people. But that’s absolutely no truth to the rumors! People on dating apps are normal. And allow me to remind you that “normal” does not mean a model robot who was programmed specifically to be compatible to you. “Normal” entails a human who is flawed and imperfect, much like yourself.

If you reject someone because one of their paintings isn’t the greatest or because the pun in their profile didn’t build you laugh hard enough, that doesn’t mean that person is gross or weird. It means they’re trying their best. It means they are a human. Give people a break, OK? If you excavate someone’s profile overall but you think the movie they listed as their favorite is horrible, it would candidly be ridiculous to swipe left. All that does is reduce your shot at love.( Also, if you’re not going to date someone just since they are like one “bad” movie, you’ve got some work to do on yourself .)

3. Bored

What kinds of dialogues are you having? Are you re-using the same “Hey, how’s your day? ” line over and over again and having the same lame dialogues about run and whatever mundane thing you and this stranger are doing in that moment? If so, I’m sorry, but you’re not going to connect with anyone that way. You’re just going to be bored.

There are a ton of suggestions on the internet for great pick-up lines to use on dating apps that will increase your chances of having interesting conversations with your matches. Elite Daily has a ton! We create them all the time just for you! Use them! Here they are! And here’s more ! One more for good measure. Aaaaand one more. OK, I’m done.

Many of my friends tell me they’re nervous to ask a funny topic or use a clever pick-up line they found on the internet because it’s not “who they are.” While I can understand that, know that you will have plenty of opportunities to show who you really are as you continue on with your conversation. You just need to get your foot in the door first. My co-worker helped me craft my first Bumble message to my last boyfriend, and that exchange began a wonderful, year-long relationship. Once you’re in, then you can work your own brand of magic.

4. Defeated

I know how annoying it is when you message people who don’t answer, when you chat with people you don’t end up going on dates with, or when you go on dates with people who suck. But how about instead of dating at the mercy of your matches, you set your own rules? How about you make a promise to yourself, today, to take full control of your dating life? If someone doesn’t ask you out after communicating for two days, either ask them out yourself (# feminism) or un-match them. If you message four people and nobody gets back to you in a day, un-match them and start over with four new people. If a month goes by and you haven’t gone on a single date yet, re-vamp your profile, re-think your preference sets, and/ or re-adjust your dialogue starters. If you’ve merely gone on bad dates, chalk them up to funny narratives and just keep trying.

Before I fulfilled my boyfriend, I weeded through dead-end conversations, f* ckboys, and catfishes, but I never let myself feel defeated. At worst, I amassed great stories and experiences. At best, I learned about what I want, what I guessed I wanted( but actually didn’t ), and what I definitely do want in a partner.

See the beauty in the process of using dating apps. Don’t feel repudiated every time you don’t fall in love, because once you do, you’ll keep forgetting all the bullsh* t you had to endure to get there.

Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV .

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