Twitter Users Get Creative Imagining How Their Moms Would Write Their Tinder Bios
5 days ago
As we all know, our parents can find the good in us even if we forget its there. With that wonderful quality in mind, Twitter users have unveiled an awesome new hashtag which imagines that their moms wrote their Tinder bios.
” I decided to write my own obituary because they are usually written in a couple of different ways that I just don’t care for. Either family or friends gather together, and listing every minor accomplishment from cradle to grave in a timeline format, or they try to create one poetic last stanza about someone’s life that is so glowing one would think the deceased had been the living incarnation of a deity.
” I don’t like the timeline format because, let’s face it, I never truly accomplished anything of note. Other than giving birth to my two wonderful, lovable, witty and amazing sons( James and Jason ), wedding my gracious, understanding and precious husband( Brian ), and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my own personal savior- I have done very little. None of that requires obit space that I have to shell out money for.
” I also didn’t want a bunch of my friends sitting around writing a glowing report of me that we all know would be filled with fish narratives, half-truths, impossible scenarios, and outright honest-to-goodness lies. I only don’t like to set people in that various kinds of situation.
” The truth, or my version of it, is this: I simply tried to do the best I could. Sometimes I succeeded, most of the time I failed, but I tried. For all of my crazy comments, gags, and objections, I really did love people. The only thing that separates me from anyone else is the type of sin each of us participated in. I didn’t always do the right thing or say the right thing and when you come to the end of their own lives those are the things you really regret, the smaller simple things that hurt other people.
” My life was not perfect and I encountered many, many bumps in the road. I would altogether scrap the years of my life from age 16 to 20 … OK, maybe 14 to 22. I think that would eradicate the majority of members of my manner calamities and hair blunders from the’ 80 s. But mostly, I enjoyed life. Some parts of it were harder than others but I learned something from every bad situation and I couldn’t do any more than that.
” Besides there are some benefits to succumbing youngish. For instance, I still owe on my student loans and the joke’s on them cuz I’m not paying them. Plus, I am no longer afraid of serial murderers, telemarketers, or the IRS. I don’t have to worry about wrinkles or the ozone layer and/ or hide from the news during election season.
” Some folks told me that writing my own obituary was morbid, but I think it is great because I get a chance to say ” thank you” to all the people who helped me along the way. Those that loved me, assisted me, cared for me, chuckled with me, and taught me things so that I could have a wonderful, happy life. I was blessed beyond measure by knowing all of you. That is what constructed my life worthwhile.
” If “youre thinking about” me, and would like to do something in honor of my memory, do this 😛 TAGEND Volunteer at local schools, church, or library. Write a letter to someone and tell them how they have had a positive impact on their own lives. If you smoke- discontinue. If you drink and drive- stop. Turn off the electronics and take a kid out for ice cream and talk to them about their hopes and dreams. Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. Stop at all lemonade stands run by children and brag about their product. Make someone smile today if it is in your power to do so .”
These Parents Constructed Embarrassing Their Children Into a Science
2 months, 16 days ago
As a parent, its important that you keep your kids safe and healthy and all those typical things. But theres also another very important job that you have to do embarrass them at some point.
After all, you brought them into the world and its good to remind them that youre still the one in charge. In case you need some inspiration, seem no further than these moms and papas with legendary parenting skills.
You Won’t Believe the Wildly Inappropriate Things This Teacher Actually Said
2 months, 18 days ago
High school teachers have a ridiculously hard task. Not only do they have to try to educate pubescent youth, but they also have to deal with a lot of attitude. I can imagine it would be hard to keep your patience, but that’s merely part of the job.
You’re the adult, so you keep your cool and try to set a good example sometimes.
Other days if you’re Jennifer Elizabeth Green-Johnson, ahigh school English teacher in Ontario, Canada you tell a student tolick me where I fart, among a bunch of other things.
Kid Writes a Demanding Letter To Tooth Fairy and Gets THIS Surprising Response
3 months, 10 days ago
ot to be all “When I was a kid…” but, when I WAS a kid, we accepted what the Tooth Fairy gave us. A quarter? A dollar? An empty bottle of Jim Beam that suspiciously smelled like my father? Didn’t matter. We were grateful for what we received and even if we weren’t, we tried our best not to let it show.
In this case, one dollar. Not bad. I mean, this isn’t supposed to be a money-making operation after all. It’s a little reward for the ache and suffering that comes from losing one of your precious little chompers. Nothing more , nothing less.
But in his eyes, it was so much more than that. The sweet young lad decided to take matters into his own hands and wrote the Tooth Fairy a letter asking for MORE MOOLAH !!!
My name is Dee Kay. My associate Tooth Fairy were talking about your letter and I have been assigned to your suit, #092208-5.
We have removed out Plaques from the wall, going three years EWI( extraction without incident ), in order to focus and resolve your lawsuit. It looks as though need to Brush Up on our extraction skills, and the running rate for teeth .”
The note continued: “One thing we do agree on and have taken into consideration, it was very bold of you to ask for more money. Since all your teeth have been cavity free we decided to increase your TPO( tooth pay out) by$ 1 for future extractions.”
” This is with the stipulation the tooth is cavity free. Should you place a cavity filled tooth under your pillow you will receive a bill to cover our costs of flight travelling. We cannot take CFT’s( cavity filled teeth) back with us. Our CTO( central tooth policeman) S. Cary Gums, would shut down the DDD( Department of Dental Disturbance) if we even attempted to bring a CFT back, and that would entail no TPO’s for children anywhere. I know you wouldn’t want to be the cause of that.
Thank you for reading our answer to your letter. I am filing this case as closed.