From an outside perspective, people assume that I have my life all put together-it appears that Ive got things very figured out.
I always earned good grades in school. Ive had a lot of close friendships and relationships in my life. And Ive been able to hold down a decent task and provide for myself since graduating high school and entering the workforce.
However, as somebody with high functioning depression, lifes not quite as figured out for me as many people may think.
And this could not be truer in terms of my work history and work/ life balance.
Ive struggled with recognizing and comprehending the depression I live with and have routinely assumed that its disappeared in the past. This has never been the case though, and will likely never fully be the case.
Depression is surely treatable, but its not curable.
A lot of people dont realize that theres actually a significant difference in depression types.
In words of high operate and low run depression, a main recognise factor is the levels at which a depressed person can go about their lives on a day to day basis and accomplish simple tasks that those without depression wouldnt think twice about.
Those with high functioning depression usually fights less with chores such as get out of bed, engaging socially, or working. But that doesnt make high operate depression less dangerous than low operate. In this context, depression is more frequently dismissed and interred. It persists in the backdrop of life, and can softly fester.
While low functioning depression constructs even the simplest tasks a challenge, its more on the vanguard of peoples lives. This stimulates it much more obvious to loved ones and other people who can step in and offer support and assistance.
As a result, people with low functioning depression tend to get help and address their mental health more frequently than those with less visible depression.
No matter what specific kind, depression affects the entire human body. The brain, as well as digestive, central nervous, respiratory, and immune system are all impacted and burdened by depression.
What attains high functioning depression so difficult to approach is the fact that cognitive and physical side effect can be presented and mistaken for other things. This has certainly happened to me.
While at work, depression thats been swept under the carpet has created other difficulties. Ive felt more stressed out and overly sensitive at work than I could rationalize. An instance of this within my life occurred while I was running a retail task and attending college simultaneously.
At this phase in life, I juggled work and school and oftentimes saw myself burnt out at odd times. Id show up to class after working a transformation and feel too tired in the early afternoon. I would debate going home and napping instead of attending class even though I didnt work long shifts.
Also, I was incredibly stressed out when I got home and tried to complete homework, and simply blamed it on being too busy. Thus, I was dismissing my depression because I was still largely get everything accomplished in a back and forth manner.
Ive also felt physical side effects, such as an attributed absence of craving. This is dangerous because high functioning depression can literally shift focus at work so heavily that basic levels of self-care are disregarded.
While I worked as a cook in numerous restaurants and coffeehouse, my high running depression equated to long work days where I became so wrapped up in the tasks at hand that Id literally forget to take breaches. Ironically, Id also forget to eat during the course of a whole transformation despite being surrounded by food.
At the young age of 25, Ive ran more jobs than some people will in their entire lifetimes. The last day I counted, Ive been employed at over sixteen different places. Ive come to the realization that this stems back to my high running depression.
I typically prosper at a place of work for a short sum of time and become overly stressed and throw in the towel. Ive had a hard time fully understand why this happens in the past. But once I understood that depression is prevalent, and that I was done settling for jobs I disliked, Ive been able to stick to the same job longer than ever.
Now that I work component time from an office and component hour as a freelance writer, I have a renewed emphasis on balancing work and life. Since the office I work for pushings for is project-focused, and my freelance run lets me basically be my own boss, Ive been able to navigate my depression in the workplace more easily.
Many people with high functioning depression struggle with balancing work and life and other corollary phenomena. Depression can oftentimes be mistaken by employers for laziness or a lack of motivating. Employers may also attribute a negative attitude with high functioning depression because its difficult to pinpoint. Depression is usually not easy to understand for anyone involved.
While at work, Ive experienced many instances of stigmas fired at depression. Instances of high functioning depression can be undetectable to coworkers, and Ive experienced this first hand.
Ive been roped into dialogues in the past that have left me feeling uncomfortable and hurt. Jokes have been stimulated in the workplace at the expense of depression that were triggering and hard to be dealt with. This all has a circular consequence that they are able bury high functioning depression even further. Stigmas are byproducts that people encounter far too regularly.
Furthermore, most if not all of my insurance schemes have have had limited to no coverage for mental health. The counselors and physiatrists that my past insurance agents have forwarded me to in the past have been outrageously expensive( at times upwards of $200 a week .)
This has been disheartening and maintain me from attempting counseling for a very long time. But there are ways around this; there are programs that exist to help in these exact situations.
It took me a long time to recognize that I needed to get help. The fights of high functioning depression were truly hidden in plain sight. High related expenses were deterring, but thankfully that all changed when I was introduced to sliding-scale advise services.
After talking with a friend who is a psychology grad student, I realized that more affordable options are out there.
Programs by colleges and universities offer counseling to people under pay what you can and at a sliding scale, entailing the costs are based on how much money a person makes and the total of their expenses. There are also community clinics that do the same thing.
I objective up searching terms on Google like” sliding scale counseling near me” and” graduate student counseling services near me” and procured a counselor who was a perfect fit for me. The services merely expense $20 a week, which is actually affordable for me.
Just remember: help is out there.
It may not be the easiest to find, but its there. Reaching out and seeking assist through counseling is nothing to be ashamed of; its quite the the opposite. Counseling sessions may be exactly whats needed to work towards a brighter future when dealing with depression. Life at work, home, and everything in between can be drastically altered for the very best, and it all starts with trying advise.