You may like to pretend you make the rules in your house, but the truth is it’s a dog’s world and you’re only living it.
All signs point to the fact that while you pay the bills, your dog is living her best life. If you’re not convinced, read the 21 red flag listed below. Sorry to be the one to tell you that you’re existing under a tyranny, but you had to find out some time.
1. There is a dog bed or blanket in almost every room.
2. Your personal home odor is a mix of Febreze and wet dog.
4. Your antique rug doubles as your dog’s favorite chewing toy.
5. Table and chair legs are covered with bite marks — it’s kind of a evolved into a look.
6. Your lavatory bowls don’t genuinely have that much water in their own homes.( Slurp, slurp .)
7. Your schedule depends on the time a four-legged animal needs to go to the bathroom.
8. Every framed photo in your home contains a picture of your dog.
9. You sweep and vacuum more dog hair than human hair.
10. You spend as much money on kibble as you do on groceries.
11. You’ll wear black, but don’t bother with the lint roll at this point.
12. When you’re not home, you leave the Tv on to entertain your puppy. Animal Planet always satisfies.
13. You never, ever leave chocolate out on the table.
14. When you have people over, someone is bound to trip over a squeak doll.
15. Your bed has two sides: You and your significant other’s side and the pooch’s side.
16. You don’t instantly clean up when you accidentally fell food off your plate. Person will get it.
17. You often find your socks and underwear scattered about in random places of the house.
18. Every year there is at least one bone-shaped item underneath the Christmas tree.
19. There are plastic turd containers in the pockets of every coat you own.
20. There’s always shredded chicken in your fridge because it’s your pup’s favorite treat.
21. After a long day , nothing feels better than coming home and being greeted by your best bud.
Related on HuffPost 😛 TAGEND
Costumes For Babies And Dogs
12 Emergency Responders Reveal The Weirdest Calls They’ve Ever Gotten
Being an emergency responder is an important task that doesn’t get enough respect.
From the EMS employees to the 9-1-1 operators, these are the people who keep us safe in moments of crisis. But beyond crisis, they also have to deal with the genuinely absurd on a daily basis. Usually those things are your median daily caller or grandma who doesn’t want people on her lawn, but what about the really insane bellows?
1. “9 11, what’s your emergency? ” “There’s a animal in the road. A big one.” “Sir where are you? ” “At the stoplight. It’s the biggest damn pig I have ever seen. Get someone here now! “( One stoplight town, the bar is near the intersection .) “How big is the pig? ” “About the size of a Volkswagen? ” “How much have you had to drink? ” “I’m not fucking drunk! It’s a giant swine the size of a small vehicle! What is wrong with you people? ” Officers show up to find a full grown hippo that had escaped from the local wild animal park. — neinta
2. I answered the phone and gave my usual, “9 11, do you need Police, Fire, or Ambulance? ” and the person on the other end only started hollering, “BEEEEEEEEEEEEES !! BEEEEEEES !! ” I assumed that the bees were neither mugging him nor on fire, so I put it through to ambulance because what the fuck even. — CL_Adept
3. A family member was working in an emergency room and said the following suit came in about a month ago: A guy got high on PCP. Suddenly thinks “hmm, I’m a bit hungry and would like to have some eggs.” Proceeds to cut out one of his testicles and fry it in a frying pan. His girlfriend walks in while he’s doing that and goes “WHAT THE HELL ?! ” at which point he’s like, “oh, whoops, sorry” and tries to set his fried testicle back in his scrotum. Then he was in the hospital. I don’t know the result, but I can guess. — funny_funny_business
4. EMS responds to a bellow where a human reported having MULTIPLE potatoes stuck up his rectum/ colon. Not red potatoes, those big brown suckers. The kicker: “I was washing my potatoes in the rain when I slipped and fell and all the potatoes went up there.” — HonestWill
5. My papa called 911 late one night to report making a 6 foot tall chicken while driving and running off into the trench. He had just crashed his vehicle and his voice was a bit shaky on the phone, so the operator asked him to repeat himself a couple of times and then promised to send someone to help. The first policeman on scene get out of his car with a breathalyzer in hand. By the time he got to the back of my dad’s auto, he was laughing hysterically over his radio telling people that it wasn’t a DUI call; my dad actually did make a 6 foot tall chicken. And that’s the tale about the night my dad and all the local cops learned about emu farming. — KeithCarter4 897
6. I once dispatched a helicopter for a woman gored by a reindeer. Apparently there is a reindeer farm for tourists and she tried to kiss it. My pilot and flight crew chuckled at the MOI and asked three times to recur. — stanislawa
7. Not me, but my dad works in an emergency room, and one time he had to treat someone who had been attacked by an owl. The owl was unconscious on the side of the road, and she thought it was dead. Because she didn’t want the children on the school bus to consider the dead owl, she chose the best course of action would be to set the owl in the back of her vehicle. Unfortunately the owl wasn’t dead. It woke up and assaulted her. — PancakeDictator
8. Not me, but my cousin. She had this dame who would call regularly and often make up stories, most likely due to loneliness, but they still had to send someone out every time. So the working day when they got a call from her they figured it would be another one of those calls. Cousin: “9 11, what’s your emergency? ” Her: “There’s a lion in my living room.” Cousin: “There’s a lion in your living room? What’s it doing? ” Her: Pauses to ask it what it was doing “I don’t know, only standing there. Can you send someone over? ” Turned out there actually was a lion cub in her living room that had escaped from a circus or something nearby. — SaturnOrchidDragon
9. We got a call from a woman having severe abdominal pains. Simple enough. We ask the normal questions, “are you feeling faint”, “are you vomiting blood”, stuff like that. Then we asked if it was traumatic or not. “Well…” She eventually tells us that she had a tampon stuck inside of her for more than 20 days, and she thinks that might be why she’s hurting. — 911ChickenMan
10. She got a call that a guy and his roommate were doing drugs. Heroin. And the caller’s friend overdosed. So this absolute MENSA hooks up a couple wires to the inside of a toaster, turns the toaster on, and attaches the wires to his unconscious friend’s testicles. Candidly , not sure if it successfully electrocuted the unconscious guy, but the caller definitely seemed to think it would wake his friend up. My mom in law’s response? “Sir, please don’t do that again.” — glory_of_the_waffle
11. Caller says her crazy roommate is losing her shit, has a knife, and is screaming and trying to break stuff in the house. Caller is locked in her bedroom with a amazingly calm stance , noting that roommate is nuts and this isn’t that unusual. Responders are pretty far out, so I stay on the phone. Abruptly, I hear loud banging, sounds of a verbal, tussling. I try to get my caller’s attention again, while noting what I can overhear in the call notes. Caller gets back on the line and says the roommate had cut up her own arms/ hands, busted in my caller’s bedroom doorway, and smeared blood all over the caller. Then the roommate left to room to also call 911 so she could assert my caller had intentionally attacked her. — Tinkermonkeybuns
North Carolina Agrees ‘Bathroom Bill’ Is Hurting The State’s Reputation
While North Carolina residents are divided on their approval of the state’s controversial “bathroom bill, ” the majority of them agree that HB2 has succeeded in one area: inducing the Tar Heel State look bad.
A poll by the independent Monmouth University Polling Institute released Wednesday found that slightly more than a third( 36 percent) of likely North Carolina voters polled in a multi-question survey supported HB2, while 55 percentage disapproved of the law. Nine percent had no opinion.
Yet regardless of their personal attitude on HB2, a whopping 70 percent of respondents said the law has had a “bad” or otherwise negative impact on North Carolina’s reputation nationally.
Compared to a poll by Public Policy Polling in April, Wednesday’s poll from Monmouth presents sentiment toward HB2’s perceived impact has grown steadily more negative over the summer.
Passed in March, the bill avoids local governments from protecting LGBT people by cutting off the ability to pass local anti-discrimination public policies that go beyond the nation standard.
Most notably, the bill has a provision that prevents public places like schools from allowing transgender people to use the bathroom that corresponds to their identity.
The bill described swift backlash from the business and entertainment world, and even other states denounced it.
Shortly after the legislation passed, more than 90 prominent business leaders from companies including Apple, Facebook, Airbnb, Yahoo, Twitter, Salesforce, Marriott, Pfizer and Levi Strauss signed a letter calling on Gov. Pat McCrory( R) to repeal the law entirely.
Prominent public universities rebuked HB2; PayPal scrapped a plan to expand in Charlotte, which would have brought 400 new jobs; and the NBA pulled the All-Star game from the state.
Cities like Washington , D.C ., San Francisco, New York and Atlanta banned government-sponsored travel to the nation.
McCrory has staunchly defended HB2, but his support of the law could be hurting his reelection prospects. Democratic Attorney General Roy Cooper, McCrory’s challenger, has been leading the incumbent by between 6 and 9 phases in recent polls.
Voters polled by Monmouth revealed they’re divide on how good of a job they guess the governor has done for country residents: Forty-five percent approved of the job McCrory has done, while 46 percentage disapproved.
“McCrory is trying to take control of the HB2 debate with a new Tv ad ,” Patrick Murray, director of the Monmouth University Polling Institute, said in a statement Wednesday. “As of right now, though, North Carolina voters feel it has hurt the nation, which is helping Cooper’s bid to unseat the incumbent.”
Isis is as much an offshoot of our global civilisation as Google
In the wake of terror attacks, and as Europe unravels, it feels as if we live in divided periods. But civilisation is more united than ever. The challenges facing the future climate change, AI, biotechnology will only bring us closer
Recent events in the Middle East and Europe seem to breathe fresh life into the conflict of civilisations thesis. Western incursions into the Middle East have triggered an Islamic backlash that has driven millions of Muslim refugees westwards and inspired terrorist attacks from Orlando to Nice; now the EU is unravelling as European voters abandon multicultural dreams in favour of xenophobic local identities. Allegedly, this has happened because the west has chosen to ignore the deep logic of history. According to the clash of civilisations thesis, humankind has always been is split into diverse civilisations whose members view the world in different and often irreconcilable styles. These incompatible world view stimulate conflicts between civilisations inevitable, and these conflicts in turn fuel long-term historical processes. Just as in nature different species fight for survival, so throughout history civilisations are systematically clashed, and merely the fittest have survived. Those who overlook this grim fact do so at their peril.
The clash of civilisations thesis has far-reaching political implications. Its supporters contend that any endeavor at reconciliation among the west and the Muslim world is doomed to failure. They further maintain that the EU can work only if it renounces the multicultural fallacy in favour of an unabashed western identity. In the long run, only one culture can survive the unforgiving tests of natural selection, and if the EU refuses to save western civilization from Islamic State and its ilk, Britain had better go it alone.
Though widely held, this thesis is mislead. Isis may indeed pose a radical challenge, but the civilisation it challenges is a global civilisation rather than a uniquely western phenomenon. Not for nothing has Isis managed to unite Iran with the United States, and to make rare common ground between Israeli PM Binyamin Netanyahu and Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrallah. And even Isis, for all its medieval rhetoric, is grounded in contemporary global culture far more than in seventh-century Arabia; it caters to the fears and hopes of alienated, postmodern youth rather than to those of medieval shepherds and merchants. In pure organisational words, Isis has more in common with a large corporation like Google than with the Umayyad caliphate. The surest sign of a real clash of civilisations is reciprocal incomprehension. Isis, in contrast, sees its enemies only too well otherwise, its propaganda would not have been so effective. It is better, hence, to see Isis as an errant outgrowth of the global culture we all share, rather than as a branch of some mysterious alien tree.
Crucially, the analogy between history and biology that underpins the conflict of civilisations thesis is false. Human groups including human civilisations are basically different from animal species, and historic conflicts differ greatly from natural selection processes. Animal species have objective identities that suffer for thousands of generations. Whether you are a chimpanzee or a gorilla depends on your genes rather than your notions, and different genes dictate diverse social behaviour. Chimpanzees live in mixed groups of males and females. They compete for power by building coalitions of supporters among both sexualities. Among gorillas, in contrast, a single dominant male establishes a harem of females, and usually expels any adult male that might challenge his position. As far as we know, the same social systems have characterised chimps and gorillas not only in recent decades, but for hundreds of thousands of years.
You find nothing like that among humans. Yes, human groups may have distinct social systems, but these are not genetically ascertained, and they seldom endure for more than a few centuries. Think of 20th-century Germans, for example. In fewer than 100 years, the Germans organised themselves into six most varied systems: the Hohenzollern empire, the Weimar republic, the Third Reich, Communist East Germany, the federal republic of West Germany, and finally democratic reunited Germany. Of course they kept their language and love of beer. But is there some unique German essence that recognise their country from all other nations, and that has remained unchanged from Wilhelm II to Angela Merkel? And if you do come up with something, was it also there back in the working day of Goethe, of Martin Luther and of Frederick Barbarossa?
In his Spending Review response, Mr McDonnell accused George Osborne of “sheer economic illiteracy”.
He also attacked austerity and claimed a Labour victory over police cuts.
But it was his decision to quote Chairman Mao and throw a copy of the Communist leader’s Little Red Book towards the chancellor that attracted the most attention.
He had been referring to the UK’s relationship with the Chinese government, and said: “To assist Comrade Osborne about dealing with his new-found comrades, I have brought him along Mao’s Little Red Book.”
He then proceeded to quote from the book, telling: “We must learn to do economic work from all who know how.
Zodiac Signs Ranked By How Fast They Fall In Love
2 days ago
For you, love happens in the twinkle of an eye–just winking, and you’re in love. As he’s tilt in to give you his first kiss, you stop him to say, “I love you.” And when you fall, you hold on ferociously, sometimes leading to accusations of possessiveness and jealousy. But if the man you fall in love with doesn’t realize he’s the luckiest man alive, he won’t hold onto you for long.
You will fall in love before even fulfilling someone. You are in love with the very concept of love itself. Devoted and passionate and committed, love is what drives you. When you fall–which is quickly–you find yourself drowning in a sea of love. Love comes to you faster than the speed of light, deeper than the universe.
You are ruled by Venus, the planet of love. You are a sucker for a handsome face, and once a good-looking guy smiles at you, you’re shopping for marriage rings. You are also particularly vulnerable to sweet-talking guys. Some would say you’re a bit superficial, that you are much more likely to fall for a square-jawed hottie who just got out of incarcerate than for some nerd who’s worth a million dollars. But what do they know about true love, anyway?
You’re quick to develop crushes, but love? It’s safe to say you quicker than you love. To truly fall in love, you need to be courted. Wined and dined. Pampered and provided for. You might never fall totally in love. But if you ever do truly fall in love, you hardly ever in love.
Love is a game to you, but one in which you want to play the referee. Your emotional nature is too independent to just blindly walk into the snowstorm of uncertainty that is love. You don’t like losing control of your impressions, and that’s what happens when you fall in love. Have you ever noticed how the term is “fall”–you don’t start “flying” in love as if you have control of your wings. No, you fall off a cliff.
As one of the most sexual star signs, lust is often more important to you than love. You like feeling powerful, and falling in love attains you feel vulnerable. Love is important to you, but not so much that you’d risk your independence and fierce freedom. It takes you a while, but once you fall, you go into a free-fall. But if a human does anything to betray your trust, you will fall right back out of love with him.
You are a little more guarded than other signs, and your dominant character means you safeguard your feelings. Strong and self-centered, you are not so willing to simply surrender your heart. You don’t like weak men and would rather some guy come in riding on a pony to sweep you off your feet. For you, falling in love takes a while. But then it happens…slowly…then of a sudden. Once you fall, you fall deep…like falling into the Grand Canyon.
That hard crab shell protects your heart from being broken. It also covers a steaming cauldron of emotion, because you want to love and be loved more than anything in the world. A deep dread of getting hurt holds you on guard, though. A fear of rejection keeps you from merely falling into the bottomless pit of love immediately. But when you fall, you fall all the way. The guy you fall in love with is one luck man.
Due to your fundamental shyness, you take a little longer than most. You need someone to build up your ego before you’ll give him your heart. You are like Rapunzel in your castle–protected by walls of stone, you’ll let down your long hair and allow Mr. Right to climb in once you have impressions for him. But you need to be coaxed just a little bit before you let him climb up into your heart.
For you, love happens slowly…and unsurely. You value friendship over love. You likely value looks and sexuality over love, too. Even if he’s already profoundly in love with you, you’re still likely to introduce him to others as your “friend.” Your position is that you can carry your own water, thank you very much. If you do fall, it won’t be that far and it won’t last for long.
You suppose with your brain , not your heart. You’re looking for security above all, which is more practical than romantic. For you love never comes roaring in like a tidal wave–it’s more like the slow dripping of a faucet leak. You fall in love slowly and fall out of love in less period than it takes you to sneeze.
Just like a virgin, you take your time. It’s likely you’ll lose your sexual virginity before you fall in love for the first time. The main problem isn’t that you’re coldhearted, it’s that you’re picky–some would even say nitpicky. You’ll seek out flaws in him almost like a drill sergeant inspecting Army barracks. You’re a bit of a perfectionist, maybe even a wee bit of a bitch. You take so long to fall in love, people who are stuck waiting behind you start honking their horns.
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45 Things That Will Help You Be A Better Person
2 days ago
Ive started a() annual tradition of writing about things Ive learned or find about life on my birthday (). I dont write these because Ive mastered life or am an expert on anything, but mainly as a reminder and challenge to myself that I need to grow and learn and change.
Hopefully youll find something interesting, amusing, or even helpful for your life.
1. Actively set limits on yourself. Try not saying more than 100 terms in a day. Wake up in the morning 10 minutes earlier every day for a week.
2. When you find yourself feeling angry when speaking with someone, shut up and just listen.
3. When you encounter a new think or notion, accept it as truth for 24 hours. Not because youll eventually believe it but because itll change your perspectives and allow you to understand others( and I lied, sometimes it will change your notions ).
4. Take one of your existing beliefs( or hypothesis) and question its legality. Read about opposing opinions. You will get defensive, even angry. Do your best to suppress your desire to assault. This is almost the same as above. Together, this is the only style to accommodate, grow, and evolve what you understand and believe about yourself, others, and the world.
5. Constantly experience life as if youre searching for a moment to photograph.
6. Dont become so consumed by your career, or household, or hobbies that you neglect personal relationships because the working day when your kids are grown and youve moved away and your career is over, youll find yourself old and alone and regretting that you didnt purposefully invest more time into your friendships.
7. Create an alternate reality version of yourself where a major milestone in their own lives that didnt happen. How would your life be different? Would it be better or worse?
8. Try communicating for a day employing merely emojis.
9. Spend a day sending notes( via Facebook or Twitter or Snapchat or email or even a letter) purposefully and specifically praising those who are important to their own lives( at least once a year ).
10. Invest in some non-traditional socksthe uglier and crazier the better.
11. Construct a playlist of anthems from your childhood. Mine would include Baby Elephant WalkI can vividly recollect dancing around in our living room, moving the coffee table out of the way, and pacing the floor with my body bent down, holding my arms together as they dangled in the air like a trunkmore Barry Manilow than I care to admit, and Little Nash Rambler.
12. Find some puppies and let them devour you in their furious furry love.
13. Every year( on your birthday, since its an easy date to recollect, hopefully) run through all the things you own and donate anything that you havent worn or used in that entire year( I also highly indicate you do this with your kids and their toys ).
14. Support whatever you believe in, whether financially or volunteering.
15. Find somewhere that constructs you happy and peacefulthat doesnt cost money, that you can get to quickly and easily, and where no one you know will interrupt youand merely sit in silence for 15 minutes( for me, its on the banks of the Ohio in downtown Cincinnati when I get to work in the morning ).
16. Play laser tag( mostly because its really fun to shoot kidsoh you know what I entail ).
17. Find an interesting topic and try and learn as much as you can about it in 60 minutes( its why the internet exists !), like rubber band, switchblade combs, vinyl records, or those three-legged, small, table-like contraptions they put in the middle of pizza so the boxes dont crush into your food.
18. Buy a headlamp. Theyre cheap and youll be amazed at how often youll need to see in the dark while also having both hands free.
19. For fun, think about a name you wouldnt intellect changing to. But take it seriously( would you really want to be called Chavez Dumplings? Thats for me, because thats a stupid online alias I used to have ). Would you be different than you are now?
20. Buy two pairs of your favorite shoes( because there is no guarantee that they will always exist ).
21. Find a simple , non-linear( meaning something you can stop and start at any time) game that you can play or do as a family while eating dinner. For us, it is( was) Akinator.
22. Go to a movie alone. Get your favorite movie foods. Preferably a movie that you really want to see but would be ashamed to admit.
23. Collect something( preferably inexpensive ), perhaps enamel pins, interesting coffee mugs, branded coasters, or velvet clown paints. I collect well-designed playing cards.
24. Ask yourself is this the most important thing I can be doing right now?
25. Visit a local art museum. Find a paint you love. Observe it for 10 minutes. Every year go back to that same paint for the same sum of day and try to find something new.
26. If you feel stuck on a problem or a thought or a anxiety, get some crayons and color in a colouring volume, or work a challenging puzzle, or play Solitaire. Engage your intellect in something completely, and youll find that a solution for a number of problems will surface, your anxiety will fade, and you fear will dissipate.
27. Get a tattoo. Find a local tattoo artist whose work( and style) you love. Tell them about who you arewhere youre from, what you do, who you love, etcand let them make something for you.
28. There is no tomorrow. You will never reach the horizon. Dont live for the unknown and unknowable.
29. For the love of God if youre not listening to podcasts, then start. There are so many amazing podcasts. When you find a favorite, write to them and tell them you love what they do.
30. If you arent intrigued by a volume by the first chapter, stop reading.
31. Get a favorite hat. Mine is this one made from Wire And Twine( hat by Legacy Athletic, so so so comfy ). Why? Because everyone needs a consolation blanket.
33. Practice receiving positive attributes in people you really( genuinely) aversion. This doesnt mean you will abruptly like, tolerate, or forgive them, but it will help assuage your abhor( and hurt ).
35. Whenever you find yourself wanting to skip a minor actionlike hanging up a towel, putting socks in a drawer, putting dishes into a dishwasher, cleaning up that spilltake the extra few seconds it would take to do it and do it.
36. Slow down. Always. The flowing of life traffic will tempt you to keep up and before you know it, everything is going by in a blur.
37. Always maintain a package of bandaids, a stain remover pen, and a spare shirt and pants somewhere rapidly accessible. You never know when youll be feeing lo mein that splatters over all your shirt.
38. Learn something new about your parent( s) while you can.
39. Find a new style to say something youre impression. Rather than telling Im furious tell Im filled with the bubbling rage of a cat wearing a sweater or instead of telling No thank you say Id rather bathe in a tub full of bacon grease.
40. Stop watching the news. Substitute that time with read. Or feeing. Or even just looking out the window at that one squirrel who seems to have lost his intellect. There are so many things better than watching Tv news.
41. Allow auto-complete to write your sentences. Im now about ethics at half year thingsthat was me trying to kind its not as easy as youd think.
42. Eat a vegetable you dont like once a week for a year. Prepare it in different ways. I ensure by the end of the year you are able to like that vegetable( like how I love Brussels sprouts to the phase of preoccupation ).
43. Watch and listen. Wherever you areat home, in a mall, at Costco, on the streetstop for merely a few minutes and find people in what they do and say and act( plainly dont be creepy about, dont ask for an autograph or inject yourself into their conversation or start clapping ).
44. If you have appliance that breakings, see if you can mend it yourself. For instance, the ice maker in our refrigerator transgressed, so I researched the brand on YouTube, watched several repair videos, find the component online and replaced it myself. Its an amazing impression. I know its meaningless, but in a world where everything is a concealed tragedy solving even the most insignificant problems is fulfilling( and therefore meaningful ).
45. Challenge yourself to write a list of things youve learned about life based on your age( Im kidding, dont do it, its nearly impossible ).
You People Wouldnt Believe the Type Design in Blade Runner
2 days ago
Dave Addey doesnt just watch movies. He dissects them.
Addey is the creator of Typeset In The Future, a website dedicated solely to fonts in science fiction. Whyyes, it is a bastion of gloriously esoteric nerdery.
It all started when Addey, a lifelong science fiction fan, started noticing the same font in every movie he watched: Eurostile Bold Extended. Designed in 1960, the typeface is geometric, functional, and appears good on the side of a spaceship ( Star Trek ). Or a computer screen ( Wall-E ). Or the wall of a fictional multinational corporation ( RoboCop ). Once I spotted it ,” Addey tells,” I couldnt unsee it .”
So he made sure nobody else would, either. That was back in 2014, and since then Addey has turned himself into nerd-dom’s preeminent archaeologist of typefaces. His exhaustive exegeses of the type and emblems in Alien , Moon , and 2001: A Space Odyssey provided entirely new ways to understand those iconic runs of science fiction; reading his essays and insuring his screengrabs was like find the movies for the first time. In his analysis of 2001 , for example, he not only identifies that the spacecraft’s hibernation devices” employ Futura for their numeric and medical buttons, and Univers for their Emergency Revival Procedures ,” he alsotranscribes the device’s emergency revival procedures( noting multiple typos therein ), and calculates the minimum time necessary to revive person in an emergency situation.Like we said: exhaustive.
This week, Addey fell a fourth essay, on arguably the most design-intensive science fiction movie of all time. Deep breath: It’s Blade Runner .
In filmmaking, a production designeruses visual details to sell the narrative that’s unfolding on screen. That’s especially important when the designer is trying to build a world that doesn’t exist. And typography, it turns out, can be as important as the appear of a spaceship or the voice of a light handgun in creating an immersive story. With typefaces you get a lot of context for free, says Addey. Youve established the time frame for your movie in seconds without a lot of special effects or backstory.
Addey employs easy-to-miss typographicdetails to guide readers through his synopsis, which, more often than not, end up veeringinto esoteric design trivia.
The new Blade Runner entry points out that the typeface used as the frontage of Los Angeles’ iconic Bradbury building, a” very lovely Berthold Block Heavy ,” isn’t, in fact, the font used on theentrance of the actual building.
Addey says the real typeface, with its curving, organicforms, was far more art nouveau, designed so long ago that it was probably a custom font.
From here, Addey segues into a discussion onthe Bradbury’s distinctive architecture, which was also featured in The Artist and 500 Days of Summer ( not to mentiona bunch more Hollywood movies ). And did you know that the building sits directly across the street from the Million Dollar Theater in Downtown LA? Because it does.
Addey’s analyses are delightfully jogging, but they’re also loaded with observations as witty as they are keen 😛 TAGEND
As we discovered in both Alien and Moon , omnipresent corporate branding is the single most important sign of a successful international conglomerate.
In the case of the Tyrell Corporation, the fictional company responsible for stimulating Blade Runner’s Replicants, Addey identified the corporate font as Akzidenz-Grotesk Extended. That was the result of a very productive hour spent with a typeface samples book, he says.
Addey’s articles blend everything that’s great about cinema obsessives and type obsessives. His process is meticulous, of course. First he watches a film all the way through, building notes about what he might like to revisit. Then he watches it again( and again and again ), taking screenshots. For Blade Runner , Addey watched various versions of the cinema 15 hours and took nearly 500 screenshots.
All that attention to detail meansAddey can tell you with certainty that Eurostile–the font that got him started down this road–appears just once in Blade Runner ( as the word caution, spelled out on the back of Gaffs flying police car ). Want your mind truly blown? He calculated that Deckards clunky yet somehow still amazingly capableEsper machinewould’ve had to zoom in 667.9 periods to actually spot Zhora in that grainy photograph. That’s one hell of an “enhance.” Some proof 😛 TAGEND
Its written as if Im somebody who takes all of this far too seriously, and thats part of the fun of it, tells Addey. Its meant to be funny first and foremost. Headmits that science fiction typography is an odd niche, but he knows that there’s a surprising bitof overlap between people who like science fiction and people who like design. Addey chalks it up to the fact that science fiction cinemas, perhaps more than any other genre, have to embracedesignminutiae, to be trulyconvincing. And the more convincing they are, the more there is to talk about. I couldve written another 20,000 terms about Blade Runner, he says. Theres that much detail in it. If a world is going to be more real than real, that starts with the writing on the walls. And control panels.
5 Groups Who Are Just As Loud As Their Causes Are Pointless
2 days ago
You ever satisfied a person who had seemingly can’t assist but one-up you all the time during any conversation? If you mention in passing that you took taekwondo, they’re a black belt in aikido. If you just bought a car, they bought a day machine. If you just lost your virginity, they actually have it and will give it back to you. There’s a little bit of a thrill in letting people know the score when you’ve done something awesome, but there’s also the mind-numbing awfulness of being reminded constantly that someone is into something you couldn’t give two shits about, even if you had a magical bottomless shit-giving sack.
# 5. Vocal Vegans
God willing, I have a nice twist on this, so you can start to slowly untwist your gluten-free, free-range , non-GMO flax panties. I have no problem with veganism. It’s great for you and yours. Why would I ever give a shit what another human feed, so long as it’s not me? Be vegan, eat this okra. You’re a real pimp.
It’s giving you five stars. That’s how awesome you are .
The issue at hand is not veganism; it’s billboard veganism in 2016. No one cares anymore. It’s mainstream. If you don’t want a burger, just say you don’t want a burger. Don’t add the laundry list of proteins you’re willing to eat as a vegan, and for the love of Pete, never explain why you’re a vegan, unless you are willing to to explain why it takes me a half hour to get out of the bathroom sometimes. Don’t see how they’re associated? Doesn’t matter. They aren’t; that’s the point. It’s useless info you don’t want or need. Just like veganism in the modern era.
Sadly, some people are still so far up their own asses about being vegan that it’s not enough that they just eat veggies. They make you go to vegan eateries with them. This is pretty close to waterboarding on the list of unbearable awfulness to inflict on another person. Aside from certain steakhouses in the South, nearly every restaurant in the world has a number of vegan options on the menu, and are also willing to accommodate a client by altering many other menu items.
We call this a “Texas salad.”
The idea of a vegan eatery is becoming prehistoric. What they actually want you to do is not feed what you want. Why is a normal restaurant willing to make a vegan dish for a client, while a vegan restaurant refuses to add meatballs to my meal? It’s that smugness. That conformity. It’s their style of quietly telling, “I’m in charge of things here now, and you’re going to do what I want.” Does this attitude stem from many years of being made fun of? Probably. A plenty of vegans who are vocal about it have a real chip on their shoulder. A kale chip that is gross and not desirable. But the time has now come simply accept that no one dedicates a shit anymore if you’re eating seaweed-encrusted portobello mushroom burgers. Woopity fuckin’ doo.
# 4. Activist Potheads
Potheads genuinely love being potheads in a way that’s hard to wrap your unpotted head around. Some potheads just like to smoke weed and play video games. Bless those potheads. Other potheads — let’s call them activist potheads — are just slightly less tolerable than guys who piss themselves on the bus. An activist pothead, to better elucidate my issue, is the various kinds of pothead who has a wall of bongs at home, many of which they have named.
Barack Obonga, Bongye West, James Bong … there tends to be a theme .
They also have read up on all the literature about why hemp is such a great crop. They have clothes made of hemp and can tell you, in detail, the benefits of hemp rope. This person is a monster. Hemp and pot are not the same, and the pot activist knows this but doesn’t care. They still think decriminalize one means legalizing the other, and that anyone devotes a shit about hemp newspaper or hemp tea or hemp oil shampoo. No one wants that scuzzy shit.
It’s 2016, and pot is fully legal in five countries. Now is the time to stop making pot your secret underground taboo hobby which has so many cool uses if merely “the man” would realise it. No one dedicates a fuck about hemp. No one wants ugly hemp clothes, and no one who isn’t currently on a boat or choking themselves as they jerk off has ever wanted a rope. No one wants to cook with pot, either. The entire edible marketplace is a throwback to the cool teenage subterfuge of building brownies with a “special” ingredient. In short , no one dedicates a shit. Smoke your weed and play PlayStation like the rest of us.
# 3. Confrontational Atheists
There once was a day when Christians walked doorway to door on the off chance your sin-filled ass had somehow missed the news of the last 2,000 years and was unfamiliar with Christ. They would ask if “youve had” discovered redemption or something like that, and very little short of puking pea soup on them would build them leave peacefully. And yet that was still less annoy than the need some atheists have to rub everyone’s faces in their lack of belief.
Parading your atheism in the rainfall is what passes for fun in Wisconsin .
Follow Ricky Gervais on Twitter for a few days, and you’ll be baffled by his adamant need to mock Christianity( or organized religion in general) as though it were currently in his home pooping in a potted plant. Being an atheist is fine. There’s a growing number of them out there, and it’s very reasonable. I like to consider myself agnostic, and think that organized religion is a bit silly. And by “silly, ” I mean “mired in thousands of years of dumbfuckery.” But I don’t need to keep pointing at churchgoers and giggling like a hyena. Why the fucking do I care what they believe? Some people believe the Earth is flat; I don’t have the time to shake my head that much.
The confrontational atheist always assaults from a position of superiority. They base their debates entirely on the idea they anyone with faith is inherently dumb. Of course, in the real world, a number of very smart people still believe in a divinity of some kind, because science and faith aren’t always at odds.
Shockingly, the best debates aren’t usually played out on automobile bumpers .
The irony of atheism is that it’s just as plausible or implausible as theism. “Prove god does exist” is about as confusing as “Prove god doesn’t exist.” Both require you to do something impossible, and both require you to believe something you can’t “honestly” believe because you’ve plainly got no proof of whatever position you’re arguing for. You’re basically one of those guys going doorway to door asking if people have heard the good word about a finite existence and the nothingness that awaits after death.
Police Investigate Whether Killing Of Student Blaze Bernstein Was A ‘Hate Crime’
Samuel Lincoln Woodward, a 20 -year-old former high school classmate of Bernstein, was charged Wednesday with his murder, as well as a sentence improvement for using a knife, Orange County District Attorney Tony Rackauckas announced at a news conference.
Police discovered Bernstein’s body, which had been stabbed over 20 days, buried in a shallow tomb Jan. 9 in a park in Lake Forest, California, roughly 50 miles southeast of Los Angeles. The discovery came nearly a week after his mothers reported him missing on Jan. 3, while he was home in Lake Forest during his college winter break.
Woodward had picked up Bernstein in his vehicle after interacting with him on Snapchat the night he went missing, the suspect told police, according to a search affidavit obtained by The Orange County Register. He reportedly claimed they had driven to Borrego Park that night, when Bernstein exited the vehicle and walked away.
After waiting an hour for Bernstein to return, Woodward told, he left the park to gratify a girlfriend, whose last name and address Woodward told police he could not remember. He said he returned hours later to look for Bernstein.
Detectives received “abrasions, scratches and dirt” on Woodward’s hands when they interviewed him last week, according to the affidavit. When requested information about the lacerations, Woodward reportedly said he had collaborated on a “fight club” and had fallen into a “dirt puddle” while sparring.
According to the affidavit, Woodward’s fists were clenched as he claimed Bernstein had kissed him on the lips during their time together that night. He told examiners that he pushed Bernstein away and wanted to call him a “faggot.”
Text messages reviewed by researchers suggested Woodward knew Bernstein may have been trying to sexually pursue him, according to the Register. The affidavit indicated Bernstein had suspected Woodward was closeted.
Woodward was going to “hit on me, ” Bernstein reportedly told a friend in a text conversation in June. “He constructed me promise not to tell anyone … but I have texted every one, uh oh.”
If it is determined that this was a hate crime, we will weep not only for our son, but for LGBTQ people everywhere that live in fear.Blaze Bernstein’s parents in a letter to the Los Angeles Times
“Our son was a beautiful gentle spirit who we loved more than anything, ” they wrote. “We were proud of everything he did and who he was. He had nothing to hide. We are in solidarity with our son and the LGBTQ community.”
The letter continued: “If it is determined that this was a hate crime, we will cry not only for our son, but for LGBTQ people everywhere that live in anxiety or who have been victims of[ a] hate crime.”
According to the court document, Woodward was known at his high school for espousing conservative political and cultural notions. His social media posts indicated he was a proponent of guns, the Bible and a torment technique known as waterboarding, reported the Register.
Rackauckas declined to discuss a motive during Wednesday’s news conference , noting that the investigation was ongoing.
“Our priority on this brutal murder of a 19 -year-old Ivy League student is to make sure that Woodward is brought to justice and held accountable, ” Rackauckas said Wednesday. “As a community, we are looking forward this case might serve as an opportunity for tolerance and understanding.”
Woodward could face 26 years to life in prison if convicted. He is being held at Orange County Jail. Attorneys said they plan to request his bail be set at$ 2 million, according to the Times.