This is an actual exchange that happened in a preschool classroom, while I was explaining an art project to a roomful of children 😛 TAGEND Me : “So that’s all you need to do. Now, before we start, are there any questions? “ Child : “Why are your boobies so big? “ Me : ” … I entail are there any questions concerning the project.” * everyone shakes their head no * Me : “OK, let’s get to work! “
Children are driving in curiosity and a sense of exploration, destined to Columbus their style across a ocean of good manners and find a continent of pure awkwardness. They want to learn everything they can about the world they live in, and that includes touching grownups’ weird bodies, especially grownups they feel comfortable with. That dude who stands waaay too close to you on public transport? Imagine 20 of those dudes, and they all come up to your hip. Of course there’s nothing sexual about it, so all I do is gently pull them away while explaining why that type of touching is inappropriate. Then there are the children young enough that their mothers are still breastfeeding them. They get hungry and, well, dive right in. Boobs are boobs, right?
Speaking of diving in: One day I was wearing a dress that was shorter than I realise, and while I was sitting down in a chair and had my head turned to the side talking to a kid, another little son plunge in between my legs and Eskimo-kissed my crotch . I SCREAMED and threw him off me like he was a spider, which of course mean I had to explain why I shoved him so hard and why he should never do that again. It was a terrible conversation. Again, at no phase in your life are you taught how to prepare for this. “Were not receiving” etiquette class that teaches you the proper reaction. You can’t My Fair Lady your way out of a response that is anything but horror.
The idea of being physically accosted by a child voices ludicrous at first, but I don’t think people realise how strong some children actually are, especially compared to someone small like me. I was once knocked to the ground by a very large kindergartner( who just wanted to playfully wrestle ), and at first I was like, “Wow, you got me! ” But then I tried to get up and realized I couldn’t . Homie was sitting on my stomach holding both my limbs down and I couldn’t get out of his hold, and another children, thinking I was still playing along with him, started leap in and hopping on me. Luckily, there was another teacher in the classroom who operated over and shooed them off. So the lesson here is that when you’re around kids, any moment could potentially turn into the Thunderdome. Good luck.
Parents And Teachers Hooking Up Is A Given
This isn’t something I ever did myself.( I promise I’m not on a high horse. The truth is that I didn’t find anyone attractive enough to risk losing my job over .) But this is a thing, and much more common than the average person may realise. After all, even single mothers have needs, and if you expend enough time with another adult, you might start detecting them physically attractive, like ultimately liking that Taylor Swift song the hundredth period you hear it, or whenever someone claims to enjoy candy corn. If the feeling’s reciprocal, you’re very likely to see the other person naked. If it turns into a permanent thing, hey, you’ve already got the “introducing them to the kids” problem out of the route. And when they get older, you just have to have an uncomfortable conversation about the boning.
Still, pretty much everybody was smart enough to keep it on the down-low, since children talk. If a kid mentioned to one of their friends “I insured teacher leaving Daddy’s bedroom in funny-looking underwear” in front of the director or admins, then that educator will shortly say bye-bye to her job. This almost happened to a co-worker who was trying to sneak out of a parent’s house super early in the morning to avoid running into the kids. Because life is more like a sitcom than we will ever genuinely realise, of course she almost ran smacking into one of said children, who was heading to the bathroom for an early morning tinkle. The teacher dived behind a wall and waited until the child entered the bathroom before tiptoeing her ass out of that house. Fortunately the child was too sleepy to notice her. Or maybe he did and was just minding his own business. If it was the latter, good on you, kid. Respect.