There’s A New Breed Of F* ckboy Disguising Himself As ‘The Nice Guy’4 months, 9 days ago
I once dated a human I supposed I could trust.
I know we have all done it before: fallen into the web that was woven by a first-class player.
But something about my relationship felt different.
When I first got my heart broken by this human, my mother told me narratives about how she got f* cked over by multiple boyfriends in her younger years.
She were talking about how they were all dickheads, and she knew it.
But for some reason, she kept going back to them.
In my fog of sadness, I couldnt relate to her. I told her this shouldnt be happening to me because I picked a niceguy.
Eventually, a year later — while I was in the middle of letting him back into my life — I was blown away.
I realise he had been seeing other women for the entire duration of our time knowing and dating each other.
So, I started thinking: What if a nice guy can secretly be a f* ckboy as well?
Now, there are not only the kinds of f* ckboys my mother used to date.There is a new breed of secret, nice guy f* ckboy.
These guysare much smarter, and definitely harder to detect.
So, what traits should we see as warning bells while trying to see the secret, nice guy f* ckboys?
These arethe things I have learned from my experience 😛 TAGEND
1. He says all the right things.
I realized that while we were together, he always said the right things.
In fact , not only did he say the right things, he said them in a genuine manner.
He would lead me to believe he was always coming from an honest place. I never felt as though he was saying anything to the purposes of it.
For example, when you are being sold a secondhand auto, you know the salesman is totally sugarcoating the bomb of a vehicle that sits in front of you.
Your warning bells come off, and you realize this is simply happening in order to get you to purchase said car.
With the secret, nice guy f* ckboy, the processis very similar.
Yet, there is one key difference.
He will induce grand gestures and statements. He will hold your hand and look profoundly into your eyes, and he will tell you he’s being honest.
He will swear to you he is being honest in a very adamant, yet believable way.
But sometimes, being genuine means you induce mistakes. It means you dont always say the right things and do the right things.
But its okay because it means you are real.
Being genuine means you actually speak honest and true words, rather than just try to convince everyone you are.
If hes always saying the right things to you and others, be warned.
2. He can talk for days.
When I first considered taking this devil of a man back for a second opportunity, we ran for dinner and a stroll along the boardwalk to talk.
We spent a reasonably extended amount of time together. However, I did not get one word in.
I not only got fed dinner, I get fed a mouthful of bullsh* t with a side of lies.
I constructed excuses for him; I guessed perhaps he was just nervous.
But the truth was, he knew what he was doing.
He knew that the more he tried to convince me he was a changed human, the more likely I was to believe it.
A true and genuine human will want to have an honest dialogue with you, rather than just give you a lecture.
He will be equally interested in hearing what you have to say and think of the situation. He will not force you to listen to the voice of his voice.
3. He will always induces “youre feeling” special.
I know what youre thinking: Of course we want a human to build us feel special.
Its what all women ultimately want to feel when they’re looking for a partner.
But a good man will induce you feel special through his actions.
Im not talking about someone who is going to buy you blooms or shower you with gifts.
Im talking about someone who is going to show up to important events; I mean someone who is going to call you to make sure you got home safe.
You want someone who is going to call you haphazardly merely to see how you are.
This is where the generic f* ckboy and the secret, nice guy f* ckboy will differ.
A generic f* ckboy will take on a typical hit it and quit it attitude, and give zero f* cks about it.
The secret, nice guy f* ckboy, on the other hand, will most likely try to “hit it and quit it” as well, but he will leave you feeling tremendously special so you dont suspect a thing.
Pay attention to a mans actions, rather than his words.
If his actions result you to believe he doesnt care, believe them.
4. He will never give you the power in the relationship.
When my ex-boyfriend and I used to be apart, we would text profusely.
Its a normal part of dating in this modern, tech-crazed world. But there is something you need to pay attention to when it is necessary to sussing out any breed of f* ckboy.
I noticed that when we communicated via text or messenger, it was always entirely one-sided.
Im not talking aboutthe fact that I always texted first. Im talking abouthim always leaving me hanging.
I eventually realized he would constantly leave me hanging for a reply, even when he was supposedly “just chilling.”
Now, I am a rational female; I realise people can lead very busy lives. They cant always be glued to their phones.
But later on, he disclosed he doesnt like to respond to peoples messages because he hates it when people dont respond to his.
He said, I always like to have the power.
So, there you have it.
There is alwaysa method to people madness, and this special breed of f* ckboy is much smarter than he wants to come across as.
Pay attention to the little things, and know that in a healthy relationship , nobody needs to play games.
In a perfect world, I would have never fallen in love with a borderline sociopath.
But regrettably, the heart wants what it wants.
Sometimes, we have no say in who we fall in love with.
What I have learnedfrom this experience is people arent always who they seem to be.
Sometimes — especially when it comes to this complex species of f* ckboy — they deserve Oscarsfor how well they can pretend to be peoplethey’re not.
So, pay attention. When you start a new relationship, look out for these key elements.
They could ultimately save you from a world of heartbreak.