Etiquette For Exes: How To Manage The ‘Happy Birthday’ Text4 months, 2 days ago
When your ex uses your birthday as an excuse to reach out, is it truly because he or she genuinely wants to wish you a happy birthday, or is it an opportunity to reopen the floodgates andcome back into your life?
It shouldnt matter.
It’s all abouthow you choose to handle it.
Allow me to paint the picture.
Its been six months since your broken-hearted meltdown, your hair is eventually retrieving from the bleaching process and spontaneous decision to getblunt bangs and you have yet to speak to the culprit since the dramatic last goodbye.
But your birthday( or any other holiday, for that matter) is coming up, and you are already anticipating the return.
Whether it’s a text or email, it’s best to answer short and abrupt, if you even choose to engage at all.
Dont take the bait and allow yourself to fall into the bear trap.
Remember that you are just starting to appreciate yourself again.
As a firm disciple in “The No Contact Rule” when it comes to break-up behavior, the book references this tactic 😛 TAGEND
These occasions become opportunities to ensure that you havent been forgotten and to place yourself front and center in their mind.
Really, is a card or a message going to make this person change or regret missing you, race back into your life and sweep you off your feet?
Its a total catch-2 2 because a part of you will be sad if he or shedoesn’t, but you’ll be even angrier if he or shedoes.
What is a guy or gal to do?
I think if we stop analyzing the whys and just keep moving forward, we will maintain control and avoid the temptation of ache revisited.
After all, its your birthday!
It should be a happy day full of celebration, rather than a day spent questioningthe entailing behind the well-wishes.
But ifyoure wondering if your ex perhaps caught When Harry Met Sally on TV and is now feeling some type of style about you again, know that’s never the case.
My most recent birthday was time for yet another epiphany.
The messages were pouring in, and I was feeling special as anyoneshould.
However, this year also brought more t-EX-t messages than ever before.
Something was in the air.
It could have been my relaxed posture toward confidently entering the past year of my 20 s, but then it happened.
He got to me.
Happy Birthday, Jess, he wrote.
My immediate reaction was, Dont you f* ckingsay my name!
The next phase of feelings included calming myself down and laughing at my own idiocy for running right back to that place.
We always give our exes more credit and power than they deserve.
Do they want to bury the hatchet?
Is it because we have so much history?
If I reply positively, will they no longer feel the remorse?
Is this closure?
Stop asking questions.
This persons feelings should no longer have control over you.
The words were simply a gesture, and unless this is an attempt to rekindle a flame, there is no need to conjure up some false narrative in your head to justify his or her undying devotion.
Most often than not, it was basic protocol or a vapid plan of attack for an ulterior motive.
I often go back andforth with feeling compelled to acknowledge my ex’s sentiment.
But remember that birthdays only last for one day.
The effects of misplaced expectations and unhealthy habits last far longer.
Continue to invest your energy into a positive posture that will help you to move forward.