Theres Nothing Wrong With Being Asexual

3 months, 9 days ago

New research aligns asexuality as a sexual orientation. Why is it so hard for society to accept? “>

When asexual activist David Jay went on the Montel Williams Show in 2007 to explain his lack of sexual attraction, he was given the third degree.

Had he been sexually abused as small children?

Nope, said Jay.

Did people merely not want to have sex with him?

Ive had plenty of offers, dont worry.

But surely if a girl came strolling out of the room in a teddy or in some nice lingerie, hed change his intellect, Williams suggested.

It would probably come up before then, Jay joked.

Almost a decade afterwards, a new review in Archives of Sexual Behavior reiterates what many asexual people like David Jay have been saying to doubters like Montel Williams all along: Asexuality is not a ailment but rather a heterogeneous entity that likely fulfills conditions for a sexual orientation.

But even after years of increasing asexual visibility, thats still a difficult assertion for many straight-out, gay, and bisexual people to accept.

I suppose[ asexuality] truly challenges many of our societal belief, lead writer Dr. Lori Brotto, a clinical psychologist and sexuality researcher at the University of British Columbia, told The Daily Beast. We see sexual attraction as being inherently human, as a core aspect of what differentiates humen from other animals, and we see it as being a necessary part of our development.

So when an asexual person says theyre simply not interested in sexor that theyre very interested in romance without sexthose of us who wishes to be do the deed can get confounded. But Dr. Brottos review suggests that , no matter how perplexing people may find asexuality, theres no reason to question its legitimacy or its normality.

For one, Brotto has previously found that theres a fairly stark difference between asexuality and true forms of sex dysfunction.

Through a series of questionnaires, she and a research squad discovered that people who fulfilled the diagnostic criteria hypoactive sexual desire ailment( HSDD) a ailment been characterised by a lack of longing that the individual determines distressingwere significantly more likely than asexuals to be in a relationship, to masturbate, and to have engaged in kissing and petting behaviors.

By a margin of over 60 percent, someones with HSDD were also much more likely to have had sexual intercourse than asexual people. That doesnt mean that asexual people dont do any of these thingssome of them dobut it does suggest, as Brotto and her co-author note, that asexuality is not likely to fit under the sexual dysfunction umbrella.

For example, whereas someone diagnosed with HSDD may genuinely wish to feel more sexual desire, previous research has shown that many asexual people are not worried about their level of sexual desire , nor[ do] they wish to speak to a health professional about the limited availability of attraction. And, as of 2013, the DSM-V lists being asexual as an exclusionary criterion for being diagnosed with HSDD.

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